Should I give up on dating before I start?

[RichGuy]

No idea what you mean. Change every aspect of my personality?

 

And 39388 claims to be "good with money" hahahaha!!!

Listen pal, if your business is not making any sales because you product model number #39388 ain't moving, what would you do? Apparently your answer is "nothing".

 

If I were you, I'd do some market research and figure out what my market segment wants. But then again, what do I know, since I'm just some shady guy "hiding something" from you, right? Hahaha!!!!!!

[39388]

And 39388 claims to be "good with money" hahahaha!!!

I'm 34 and my net worth is many times that of the median for 34 year olds. Most of it is not liquid.

 

You call yourself "Rich Guy" so I assume yours is much higher than mine. I do not consider myself rich.

[39388]

Listen pal, if your business is not making any sales because you product model number #39388 ain't moving, what would you do? Apparently your answer is "nothing".

 

If I were you, I'd do some market research and figure out what my market segment wants. But then again, what do I know, since I'm just some shady guy "hiding something" from you, right? Hahaha!!!!!!

Where do you get that from that I want to do "nothing"?

 

I'm a person, not a product. Someone off the internet tells me go to Vegas that has never spoken to me before, even over the net. What am I supposed to think? Maybe my net worth is relatively high because I don't fall for any of the internet get rich quick schemes that have come my way.

[39388]

And 39388 claims to be "good with money" hahahaha!!!

You succeed in kicking me what I am down. I hope you gained something from it.

[RichGuy]

Someone off the internet tells me go to Vegas that has never spoken to me before, even over the net. What am I supposed to think? Maybe my net worth is relatively high because I don't fall for any of the internet get rich quick schemes that have come my way.

 

Mr. Virgin, I have met (and of course f'ed) many women on the same proposition I gave you. So obviously they had the guts that you so badly lack. Grow a pair already.

 

And your whole "net worth above average for 34 year old" is total bullsh*t since the IRS doesn't publish income breakdown by age. Maybe you meant above average for 34 year olds in Haiti? Hahahaha!!!

 

Your personality is obviously risk-averse. Without risk, you'll never bed the most desirable women, nor make great amounts of money...

[39388]

Mr. Virgin, I have met (and of course f'ed) many women on the same proposition I gave you. So obviously they had the guts that you so badly lack. Grow a pair already.

 

And your whole "net worth above average for 34 year old" is total bullsh*t since the IRS doesn't publish income breakdown by age. Maybe you meant above average for 34 year olds in Haiti? Hahahaha!!!

 

Your personality is obviously risk-averse. Without risk, you'll never bed the most desirable women, nor make great amounts of money...

 

No, the United States. My net worth is somewhere in the 6 figure range. Not rich like you claim to be, but not exactly poor either. Yes, that's in US dollars since you will next say some foreign currency.

 

How can I know the you f many women? How can I know that you are "Rich"? You do like to hit on women much younger than you it seems from your posts elsewhere. Not a good thing, but what do I know? I'm the ultimate loser accoring to you and likely many others.

[39388]

Well, I understand how you can feel that way because I feel that way when it comes to men about all the good looking women I have to compete with, even when I am in a relationship. But the thing is that you really do have it much easier in that regard then you think. Women might like a good looking man but it has much less sway on us then it does men. How many famous women can we name that dated men much much uglier then themselves? Many!

 

And even for myself, I have been very attracted to stereotypically "hot" men and turned off by them too. And vice versa. I have been very attracted to men who weren't hot but just has a chemistry/magentism that I found very intriguing. You will find there are plenty of women out there like that.

 

You will have to work on your confidence though. It doesn't matter what you look like but confidence with women goes a long way.

I'm starting to fill out a dating profile on one of the inernet sites. It is very tough to know what to say and may take some time.

 

My confidence is disasterously low now. When I complete it and get a little less down I'll post it.

[39388]

I only read the original post, haven't read the follow-ups , so for all I know you've found a date by now....

I read your post. There was lot lot of good information for me.

 

I need to figure out how to gain confience. It's been a tough last 3 weeks for me and when things go even a little better I'll at least be on one internet dating site. Working on a profile right now, but that will take a little time. Just a start I know.

[RichGuy]

How can I know the you f many women? How can I know that you are "Rich"?

 

One day you're gonna have a naked girl in front of you, ready to pop your cherry, and I can already visualize the following conversation:

39388: "How do I know your true intentions in being naked? Are you testing me?"

She: "I just want to have sex"

39388: "How do I know you don't have AIDS?"

She: "Use a condom"

39388: "How do I know the condom won't break?"

She: "You know what, I think I'll just go f*ck RichGuy instead. He's cute and doesn't ask so many questions. He's a risk-taker, and risk takers know that some variables can't be determined for sure... Kinda like investing in the stock market he says, how do you know the stock won't go down the next day, right? I'm so hot for RichGuy!!!"

[39388]

One day you're gonna have a naked girl in front of you, ready to pop your cherry, and I can already visualize the following conversation:

39388: "How do I know your true intentions in being naked? Are you testing me?"

She: "I just want to have sex"

39388: "How do I know you don't have AIDS?"

She: "Use a condom"

39388: "How do I know the condom won't break?"

She: "You know what, I think I'll just go f*ck RichGuy instead. He's cute and doesn't ask so many questions. He's a risk-taker, and risk takers know that some variables can't be determined for sure... Kinda like investing in the stock market he says, how do you know the stock won't go down the next day, right? I'm so hot for RichGuy!!!"

If she is someone I don't know the name of, the conversation won't even go that well. You can have her!

 

If she is someone I've been dating for awhile, the experience will be far far better than anything you could have with a woman you just met.

 

I take it you like one night stands. Sorry, I'm not into that.

[39388]

I will ask everyone else this.

 

Is it unreasonable to only sleep with someone I have been dating awhile? I don't have a particular amount of time, but I want to at least be exclusively dating and know a lot about each other. I couldn't sleep with a virtual stranger.

 

Is this going to cause me trouble when I date?

[39388]

Get told "I don't play well other others". What is that supposed to mean?

[Storyrider]

I will ask everyone else this.

 

Is it unreasonable to only sleep with someone I have been dating awhile? I don't have a particular amount of time, but I want to at least be exclusively dating and know a lot about each other. I couldn't sleep with a virtual stranger.

 

Is this going to cause me trouble when I date?

No, it won't cause you any trouble. Many, if not most, women prefer to be in a relationship first.

 

"Richguy" is just a an exaggerated stereotype. He does not represent what most women are looking for.

 

Take this with a grain of salt, as it is just my opinion over the Internet, but I would picture you having more success with an introverted, soft-spoken type of woman, who would be more comfortable with a slower, gentler pace, and would most likely find "Richguy" a turn-off in every way.

[39388]

I don't feel any hope and I don't feel in any condition to find a date.

 

In the 3 weeks of 2009 I've been angry and bitter every day. I've gotten into argements with seemingly everyone I talk to whether it is online or in real life. Some of these arguments are about religion/politics and I've said some really mean and nasty things. It's going to be hard enough to keep the few friends I do have given my behavior.

 

It is an absolute meat market out there. I've looked through large numbers of profiles on a dating site. I can't compete with any of the males on there. Most have strong and toned bodies and so many make six figures and all have much more of "a life" than I do. A lot of nice beautiful women on there, except there are many more men than women. There is not going to be somebody for everybody. Even some of those successful, mucular men will miss out. What am I supposed to say anyway? Saying I'm average is a lie. I'm just a weak wuss.

 

This vicious cycle of anger and hopelessness is consuming me and is ruining far more than just my dating chances. A friend, let alone a date would be too much to ask for.

 

"Rich guy" represents what most men think about me. It is not the first time or tenth time I've heard comments like his. They are often far worse. The females likely have worse things to say than the males. Actually they have very little say other than to laugh in my face.

 

I hope the comments of those who tried to help will help other 30+ year olds would have been dateless, the few in this country. I sit here crying hopelessly as I type this. A 34 year old male crying, wow.

[tincanman99]

I think you are being to hard on yourself. Way too critical. Try to view things as positive instead of negative. The glass is 1/2 full syndrome.

 

I used to be a shy guy and still kind of am sometimes. At some point I realized what I was doing is not working and realized I had to break the cycle. You are kind of there in your realization but are stuck. You need to get unstuck.

 

You cant control others but what you can control is how you react to others. Its up to you whether you view it in a positive way or a negative way. If you learn to control how you feel instead of just falling into the abyss of negativity you will feel better. That being said its going to take some work on your part, it wont happen overnight either. It takes time and the ability to have introspection which I think you have.

 

I will outline this for you the way a project manager would manage a project. The first step of any project is to define a goal or problem that you are trying to accomplish. The subsequent step define the necessary tasks that you need to be done to get to the goal.

 

I think you should think about this. Give it a shot, you have nothing to loose.

[Brady_to_Moss]

Your being to hard on yourself you really are. I havent been with a girls in 4 years and i am begining to think i might never find someone again but once those thoughts creep in i try and stay positive..i knows it hard but you will get through it.

[39388]

You cant control others but what you can control is how you react to others. Its up to you whether you view it in a positive way or a negative way. If you learn to control how you feel instead of just falling into the abyss of negativity you will feel better. That being said its going to take some work on your part, it wont happen overnight either. It takes time and the ability to have introspection which I think you have.

 

I think you should think about this. Give it a shot, you have nothing to loose.

It will take major changes on my part, in particular becoming more positive. I will need to become much more athletic too, which will likely help in many ways.

 

The most difficult and confusing part that I have been reading all over the place is that so many women prefer drama over stability. I don't know if I will ever understand this. It frustrates me but it is not something I can change. I will have to get used to holding back compliments. It will be a long and complex road to get even one date, but I have to start somewhere.

[39388]

It really seems like I'm going to have to either

 

1) find a woman that doesn't crave constant drama

2) figure out how to live with constant drama

 

2) may be too difficult for me and people tell me and I read on the web how much most women love drama (some say it is accidental drama whatever that means). They often say it is biological which I don't know whether or not to buy. I'm hoping it's not more than half, but if it is 95% like some say, this finding a relationship will be even tougher. There is no way I'm going to change my personality 180 degrees. I don't have that in me.

[Issues & tissues]

I really have no idea what you mean and I don't know who you are. Going to Vegas and getting laid as a guinea pig in some experiment? Sounds weird to me. I'm going to start on a dating site or sites. Maybe I'll branch out later.

 

...your post had me almost fall off my chair laughing!! And THAT's what women find attractive!!

 

Honestly, I really wish there were more guys like you in the city where I live. The trend here is a macho male type who jumps in and out of bed with a different woman every night of the week and who expects his wife /spouse to stay at home and be his surrogate mother!! Me personally, I find this a huge turn off as do so many other of my female friends!!

 

If you feel like chatting, feel free to drop me a PM.

[39388]

...your post had me almost fall off my chair laughing!! And THAT's what women find attractive!!

 

Honestly, I really wish there were more guys like you in the city where I live. The trend here is a macho male type who jumps in and out of bed with a different woman every night of the week and who expects his wife /spouse to stay at home and be his surrogate mother!! Me personally, I find this a huge turn off as do so many other of my female friends!!

 

If you feel like chatting, feel free to drop me a PM.

Thanks for the nice message! It gives me some hope that there are high quality women out there who prefer someone like me to the macho type who only cares about themselves that you described.

 

I'd like to send a PM, but it looks like my account does not allow it, maybe I'm too new to the site?

[39388]

It looks like unless I become a player I won't get very far even if I do find someone. I don't see how I can do that. I can't tell a woman I'm not interested if I am if I really am. I can't lie and be deceptive about things. I unfortunately think this not wanting to be a player may prevent me from getting anything.

 

I suppose it has something to do with the proportion of women that love drama. If it's 30 percent I may be ok, but if it's 98 I'm in trouble. If they crave it and say they can't help it, not only with they not date me, they will hate me because I don't like that kind of person. I hate the women who claim it is biological. A lughable lame excuse. They are the same as those that constantly play games. I don't want to be around them at all.

 

Feeling really discouraged now after reading thread after thread here

[Cherry Blossom 35]

I don't feel any hope and I don't feel in any condition to find a date.

 

In the 3 weeks of 2009 I've been angry and bitter every day. I've gotten into argements with seemingly everyone I talk to whether it is online or in real life. Some of these arguments are about religion/politics and I've said some really mean and nasty things. It's going to be hard enough to keep the few friends I do have given my behavior.

 

It is an absolute meat market out there. I've looked through large numbers of profiles on a dating site. I can't compete with any of the males on there. Most have strong and toned bodies and so many make six figures and all have much more of "a life" than I do. A lot of nice beautiful women on there, except there are many more men than women. There is not going to be somebody for everybody. Even some of those successful, mucular men will miss out. What am I supposed to say anyway? Saying I'm average is a lie. I'm just a weak wuss.

 

This vicious cycle of anger and hopelessness is consuming me and is ruining far more than just my dating chances. A friend, let alone a date would be too much to ask for.

 

"Rich guy" represents what most men think about me. It is not the first time or tenth time I've heard comments like his. They are often far worse. The females likely have worse things to say than the males. Actually they have very little say other than to laugh in my face.

 

I hope the comments of those who tried to help will help other 30+ year olds would have been dateless, the few in this country. I sit here crying hopelessly as I type this. A 34 year old male crying, wow.

 

This is the biggest pity party I've read on LS in a while. You need to get over this poor me attitude. What, you think you're the only person who has had dating troubles? What if you had your face burned off in Iraq like the young man I saw on Oprah recently? Do you think he has it pretty tough?

 

Honestly, your looks, personality, career, general station in life don't matter a lick when you present this kind of attitude towards the world. THIS is extremely unattractive. Fix THIS first, and everything else will follow.

 

Also, reread that long post by Bobrigo or whatever his name was. He has some really good advice.

[39388]

This is the biggest pity party I've read on LS in a while. You need to get over this poor me attitude. What, you think you're the only person who has had dating troubles? What if you had your face burned off in Iraq like the young man I saw on Oprah recently? Do you think he has it pretty tough?

 

Honestly, your looks, personality, career, general station in life don't matter a lick when you present this kind of attitude towards the world. THIS is extremely unattractive. Fix THIS first, and everything else will follow.

 

Also, reread that long post by Bobrigo or whatever his name was. He has some really good advice.

You are one of the almost one hundred percent of women who crave constant drama and makes excuses for it. You likely dated at 14 and have been on who knows how many dates and relationships. You likely are a master game player and this all this is a game to you. You likely love living on the edge. With all of that, you are likely an average woman. No doubt you hate me, but you are not special in that regard. All the women hate me or someone might have at least tried something to help me by now in all these years. Happy 35th birthday with no dates to me.

 

I should have known this would happen. I have seen tens of "deal braker lists" and there are usually 10 or more behaviors of mine on all of them. Most of them are superficial stuff, but doesn't matter, they are "deal breakers". My attitude now is another deal breaker, but I get no date whether I have 11 or 10.

 

Right now I don't care about anybody else. Fine, I don't care about all the starving people in every country right now or whatever. I don't care about anyone right now. When I do care about others, I get rebuffed anyway for caring too much. That's 12 "deal breakers".

 

I epecially don't any any sympathy for the 23 year old divorced mother of 4 who is that way because she only talks to the most intense game players. This is the exact type of person who hates me the most for not being able to find a date. I don't care right now. Deal breaker 13.

 

Why don't you try being alone, all by yourself for year after year after year. Almost anytime you try to make a friend, you get nervous and make some stupid faux pas. You don't always realize you made it until later. People want things out of me and for the most part is the only reason they even talk to me. Then they drop me and drop me hard. I have a really bad attitude. Deal breakers 14 and 15 here.

 

If you don't want me around here I'm sure there are 10 mods who would be more than happy to delete my account. Maybe there should be a rule that says delete accounts of any 35 year old who has not had a date in his life, becuase it's hopeless and will waste everyone else's time. I've never felt welcomed even in a conversation where people talk about dating. I'm shoved to the side since I have no expereince. It is all a joke to everyone.

 

If somehow the mods don't delete me, then you have to live with me or ignore my posts.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

You are one of the almost one hundred percent of women who crave constant drama and makes excuses for it. You likely dated at 14 and have been on who knows how many dates and relationships. You likely are a master game player and this all this is a game to you. You likely love living on the edge.

 

 

Haha! LOL!!!! Not quite.

 

I stand by what I said.

 

People will treat you the way you expect to be treated. Change your attitude, change your life. But you're not going to listen to anyone here, are you, because you would just rather play the victim role.

[likestolaugh]

39388, for some reason when reading your posts, especially the last one.... I keep reading as the voice of Woody Allen in his most neurotic roles.

 

but like others and myself have said... see a therapist. The internet is doing more harm than good to you at this point. I have a friend like you... disconnected... has issues (well, no issues because he can't connect) with women. Get off the internet.