jessagarner Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 my bf of almost 2 years broke up with me this week by sending me this e-mail...i don't know how to cope. does anyone think there is any way i can still get him back? Dearest, The past year and a half we have shared some wonderful times. Times I will hold dear to my heart for years to come. You are by far the most amazing woman I have ever had the chance to be close to. You are intelligent, poised, determined, stunningly beautiful, and you continue to impress me. In a time in my life when I cherish freedom more than security you have allured me for longer than I would have imagined. It is with deepest sorrow that I write you this evening. I have painstakingly come to the conclusion that I don't love you like you deserve or need to be loved. Ultimately, this has happened because I am not ready for this commitment at this time in my life. Staying together with you now I feel is only hurting you more and delaying the inevitable. While I am dejected at the thought of hurting you, I realize that this departure will only get harder in time, just as it has hurt you immensely in the past few rocky months. I know you will think to read and reread this email ad nauseum. Please don't. You know what it says. When you analyze things such as this, you always linger on words, phrases, or thoughts to punish yourself. You always tend to extract the most incisive details and bury them in your stomach like a knife. C, you have no reason to berate yourself. You should only to be proud of yourself for your character, your person, and all of your accomplishments. I see wonderful traits in you and I feel horrible that I have not reinforced them throughout our relationship. If I had better communicated to you how truly great you are, perhaps issues in the relationship such as jealousy, trust, and confidence would not have existed. While I accept some blame for these issues, I cannot explain why so many our interactions yielded such negative emotional sentiments. Why is this happening? It is not one variable, but the most complex equation I have ever tried to solve. We seem to work out on paper just fine. Analyze our relationship in a number of ways and it seems it can work out in the end. But it just doesn't feel right. And these things you're supposed to feel in your heart. I know we derive different emotions from our relationship and I wish that it were different and our love could supplement to a long and healthy relationship. There seems to be no indication of a healthy relationship here, though. You speak of detachment from your family and friends, a lack of confidence catalyzed by my cruelty and insensitivity. Looking at these things you say and the way you say them make me wonder why I am the one ending this relationship. Sweet C, I so wish I could just send you an email right now to lift your heart to the sky. I love seeing you happy. You are the cutest girl I know. I am crying now writing ... and thinking.. just how much I love to see you happy. You have the brightest smile and it really brightens the world. You have brightened my world more than I can ever communicate. I only wish I could have done the same for you. Saying that you are happy in this relationship in conjunction with the other things you have mentioned would only prove that this relationship has reduced you more than you should ever accept. I have no answers to your questions, just more questions myself. I can only say that I need this time in my life to myself, I am immensely sorry for the pain I have caused you. any advices will be much appreciated... u can add me up in my ym for some advices... YM: jessagarner thank you in advance
Bri754 Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 If you really love him and more importantly yourself, just respect the decision and realize that the bad feelings will pass. Go to the bar and find yourself a rebound, if thats your thing. But if you really want to get under his skin send him an email back like this: K Cool. No worries I totally understand. THANKS! Then hook up with a friend of his.
Island Girl Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 While it is a wrenching e-mail it just seems way too contrived and he seems to completely pity you. YUCK! Your ttitude should be "you are pitying me?!! - YOU! You who should be ever loving thankful that I allowed you in my life?!! How dare you?!!" Screw him. The best thing you can do is NC -- AT ALL. If you see him, his friends, or anyone he may possibly talk to (including friends of YOURS who may run into him) YOU ARE JUST FINE. He states in his e-mail that "You have brightened my world more than I can ever communicate." HA! GOOD! Now - Let him see what life is like without you. And by the way, using e-mail to break off a relationship that has been going for over a year is absolutely pathetic. What a complete schmuck. Good riddance.
Author jessagarner Posted January 30, 2009 Author Posted January 30, 2009 Hey guys i apreciate all the outputs, but ryt now i still have hang ups with that guy i hate him so much, cant hel ma self to do things that im unable to do unethically.. but i appreciate all the outputs here, thanks a lot guys... other comments, suggesttions and violent reaction are much accepted.. keep it coming maybe it'll help me cheer up with all the comments... Thx.. later all peace....
manugeorge Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 I know it hurts to read that. One one hand, he's saying how great you are, on the other, he's saying he wants to break up. But I guess he has to say those things to soften the blow somehow. People breakup, it's a painful fact of life but one we all deal with. Don't beg, don't look for ways to get him back, don't plead for him to stay. Just say ok and walk away. It'll hurt but you will get over it. Somehow, when someone makes up their mind to break up with you, begging them to stay just makes you look and feel really pathetic. The absolute worst part of it though is that, even if they do change their mind and stay with you, you will constantly be looking over your shoulder, wondering if they only stayed because you begged and wondering when the next break up is going to happen. So the patched up relationship is never really as good as pre-breakup. No one every really knows how to cope with a break up, you just take it a day at a time until it stops hurting. And it WILL stop hurting.
socialight Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 anyone who would write a letter like that is not worth having around. The whole thing simply reads of "i am sleeping with someone else". Consider it a blessing. You will realize it in time.
sid3 Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 I agree, it does read as though he is sleeping with someone else. Sending a breakup email is really lame.
Ramrod Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 He's delusional. Go buy a male "youdoovoodoo" voodoo doll on eBay and drive some large rusty nails through the dolls genitalia. Then be seen by some of his friends frenching and hanging all over one your closet girlfriends and tell them he turned you gay. This is not to say living well is the best revenge. But revenge is pretty darn sweet too.
AlektraClementine Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 I swear I remember reading this exact same letter before. OP have you already posted this?
socialight Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 ramrod, that is some grade A revenge. I like the way you think!
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 K Cool. No worries I totally understand. THANKS! That would be hilarious.
anne1707 Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 I swear I remember reading this exact same letter before. OP have you already posted this? One quick google is all it takes: http://ehealthforum.com/health/topic88182.html
unacceptable62 Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 So is this a ****ing troll? Lame. I was going to bash how nerdy that email read: "Why is this happening? It is not one variable, but the most complex equation I have ever tried to solve. We seem to work out on paper just fine. Analyze our relationship in a number of ways and it seems it can work out in the end. But it just doesn't feel right. And these things you're supposed to feel in your heart. I know we derive different emotions from our relationship and I wish that it were different and our [COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue ! important][FONT=Arial][COLOR=blue ! important][FONT=Arial]love[/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR] could supplement to a long and healthy relationship." The most complex equation you have ever tried to solve? Honestly...
Surfer Dude Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 Yep, troll. She posted exactly the same thing on several forums over the course of few years.
torranceshipman Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 Wow, troll, you need a hobby, seriously!!! :D I almost feel bad for this person...imagine the only route to entertainment is posting a break up email on anonymous internet forums. As for me, I'm off to the gym, then a date, then dinner with my lovely friends-some of us have a life, lol
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