kashmir Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 I'm away on a trip for school right now. There's this girl that's been eyeing me and I've been eyeing her back. I noticed it a few days ago and I started smiling back yesterday, and every time I do she gives me a big smile. I'm really comfortable approaching her, but there's a little issue. The guys aren't supposed to communicate with the girls on this trip, like we can't go to the floor they're on or sit with them at meals. I was even getting a dirty look from one of the women's coaches when I was talking with my girl friends the other day. It's kinda BS, but it's understandable, since the coaches want us to focus on our task. So I can't go sit down with this girl at meals. My only chance is to catch her while she's up getting a drink or something. I'm really bad at knowing what to say to break the ice. Would a simple "hi" do? If I do manage to break the ice and we're making brief small talk, should I be direct and just say something like, "Look, the coaches don't really want us hanging out now, but when we get back to school we should get lunch and hang out then." Good idea? Other suggestions?
Franc Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 Close your eyes for a second (after reading this post!) and imagine you could say ANYTHING you wanted to this lady. Waht would you say? Remember, it's only just pretending...Now that you know what you really want to say, just go ahead and tell her! Being honest and confident is, in my opinion, always the best way to go. She will apreciate that you open-up her heart to her, it's a sign of trust.
Star Gazer Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 Is this a sport event of some sort? I don't really understand why you're being restricted from the girls at all. Is it school related? Would you see her after this trip?
Author kashmir Posted January 11, 2009 Author Posted January 11, 2009 It's a sport. We're being restricted because we're here to train, not to talk to the opposite sex. Both coaches don't like interaction between the teams for...certain reasons. My friend who has a gf on the girl's team was told to stay away from her on the trip. That's why my only shot is to talk to this girl for like a minute. "Hey, what's up? Enjoying your time here? Cool, listen, give me your number and we can hang out back at school." For some reason, I've never seen her around at school. Then again, we don't see the girls a lot unless it's on our own accords.
Frankasy Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 Close your eyes for a second (after reading this post!) and imagine you could say ANYTHING you wanted to this lady. Waht would you say? Remember, it's only just pretending...Now that you know what you really want to say, just go ahead and tell her! Being honest and confident is, in my opinion, always the best way to go. She will apreciate that you open-up her heart to her, it's a sign of trust. Actually I would say that you keep what Franc said in mind but make sure first what type of girl she is. If you're positive that she's a nice chick with no bad intentions what so ever, just go and tell her how you feel. If she likes to gossip and stuff like that, reserve yourself cause the next thing you'll realize is that she'll use every confident thing you've told her against you.
Author kashmir Posted January 11, 2009 Author Posted January 11, 2009 Well, about that. I have nothing to say to her besides asking to meet up at some other time. I don't know if I like her yet, so I'm not going to go up to her and tell her I like her. There's no reason for that, nor is it truthful. I like the way she looks, and that combined with the fact that she feels the same way gives me the motivation to get to know her personality a bit better.
Trimmer Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 So I can't go sit down with this girl at meals. My only chance is to catch her while she's up getting a drink or something. I'm really bad at knowing what to say to break the ice. Would a simple "hi" do? If I do manage to break the ice and we're making brief small talk, should I be direct and just say something like, "Look, the coaches don't really want us hanging out now, but when we get back to school we should get lunch and hang out then." Good idea? Other suggestions? I kinda like this - as long as she agrees, then you've put a good idea into her head, and you've created a kind of a conspiratorial "us vs. them" thing that will carry you back to the point where you can get together. Actually I would say that you keep what Franc said in mind but make sure first what type of girl she is. If you're positive that she's a nice chick with no bad intentions what so ever, just go and tell her how you feel. If she likes to gossip and stuff like that, reserve yourself cause the next thing you'll realize is that she'll use every confident thing you've told her against you. I think this is excessively paranoid. Is there any way you could possibly find out that she's a nice girl "with no bad intentions what so ever?" Just how would you discover that, anyway? Even if she turns out to be a horrible person, if you are truly confident, then her telling her friends "he talked to me" or "he asked me to lunch" isn't going to shake your world. Heck, it may just increase your stature with the ladies. Skulking around feeling paranoid about even approaching women is counter to confidence. Well, about that. I have nothing to say to her besides asking to meet up at some other time. I don't know if I like her yet, so I'm not going to go up to her and tell her I like her. There's no reason for that, nor is it truthful. I like the way she looks, and that combined with the fact that she feels the same way gives me the motivation to get to know her personality a bit better. Generally true, but keep it clear in your head that we don't know if it's fact yet - you do have your observations that seem to point in this direction, but for now, it's your impression that she feels the same way... I hope for you that it turns out to be true, but be careful not to build it up too much in your head just yet, so you don't get too disappointed. Keep an open mind, stay relaxed, and stay confident. Good luck!
Author kashmir Posted January 11, 2009 Author Posted January 11, 2009 Well yeah, I don't know anything for sure. She's doing just as much towards me as I'm doing towards her. It's certainly better odds than approaching a girl who won't even look at me, though. I'm pretty confident this girl will agree and be welcoming.
Trimmer Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 Well yeah, I don't know anything for sure. She's doing just as much towards me as I'm doing towards her. It's certainly better odds than approaching a girl who won't even look at me, though. I'm pretty confident this girl will agree and be welcoming. Oh yeah - don't get me wrong. From what you've described about her responses, etc. it sounds like you've got a pretty good chance of getting a good reaction. I'm not trying to shoot you down at all; I'm encouraging you. I just wanted to be sure you didn't build it all up too much in your head before you checked the reality of the situation. But I agree, it sounds like a great opportunity, and you're getting eye contact and smiles - that's hard to beat. Again, good luck!
Author kashmir Posted January 11, 2009 Author Posted January 11, 2009 Thanks! And no need to worry about me building a girl up too much in my head. I've gone through enough rejection to know that one girl isn't a big deal.
Author kashmir Posted January 11, 2009 Author Posted January 11, 2009 too much analysis causes paralysis Pfft, ain't happening dude.
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