Valentine's Day.. will i ever have a happy one?

January 11, 2009

Some will view this as fairly petty perhaps.. but im one for traditions and it just dawned on me that Valentine's Day is quite soon.

I have never had a proper Valentine's Day in the past, i have had a boyfriend during the time and he wasnt even around on the day to just spend time with me. This was when i was younger, my friends had boyfriends and they were together in front of me and i just wished i could have a nice Valentine's Day- swapping roses and getting cuddles

Well currently i am in a relationship with someone but im getting a vibe he isnt really into the whole Valentine's Day thing? Is there even such thing as guys who arent really into it?

I just would like to experience a Valentine's Day with my boyfriend.. a happy day?!

Ok so its maybe a few weeks before Valentine's, but i would like maybe some advice on how to go about mentioning Valentine's Day and ideas of things to do for it.

Thanks

January 11, 2009

This was when i was younger, my friends had boyfriends and they were together in front of me and i just wished i could have a nice Valentine's Day- swapping roses and getting cuddles

Well currently i am in a relationship with someone but im getting a vibe he isnt really into the whole Valentine's Day thing? Is there even such thing as guys who arent really into it?

To some people Valentine's Day is just like any other day, nothing special.

Don't make any supposition about your BF feelings. Vibe is only vibe, you should ask your BF what he thinks about Valentine's Day?

Likewise your BF can't know what you expect on Valentine's Day if you don't tell him. Tell him about your dreams, don't wait him to be telepath

January 11, 2009

Youre right Taulu, it makes a bit more sense now

Ive just got to know how to go about talking to him about it, i really want to spend Valentine's Day doing something this time.. and as ive never really had one its quite difficult.

Thanks

January 11, 2009

I'm wondering what caused you to select VICTIM Girl as your name?

Perhaps you're creating self-fulfilling prophecy for yourself...

January 11, 2009

I'm wondering what caused you to select VICTIM Girl as your name?

Perhaps you're creating self-fulfilling prophecy for yourself...

Im not sure at all whats meant by this..

But hey i think im going to seek answers to my question elsewhere.

January 11, 2009

I'm wondering what caused you to select VICTIM Girl as your name?

Perhaps you're creating self-fulfilling prophecy for yourself...

I already told her I hate her name and I have a hard time answering her because of it. She said she was going to change it before.

What ever happened with that victimgirl?

Oh you know what? I'll post it as a question and maybe the powers that be can help you with that if you're still interested in changing your name.

January 11, 2009

Okay victimgirl you can scroll all the way down the bottom of the page and in the black bar see where it says "contact us"?

You can click on that and ask them to change your old name to a new name if you like.

Nobody even has to know that the old you is the new you.

January 11, 2009

What ever happened with that victimgirl?

Honestly? I was going to ask about it being changed but then i thought to myself that i didnt need to ask any more questions about my problems and so there would be no point in changing a name.

But now i obviously have another situation im thinking over, and as ive previously said, if im not going to receive any help/advice related to my question then there's really no reason for me to be on this.

January 11, 2009

Your name is highly offensive. I know you don't see it that way because you chose it but you would probably have more luck with getting help to your questions if others don't see you as "just another victim", know what I mean?

January 11, 2009

Your name is highly offensive. I know you don't see it that way because you chose it but you would probably have more luck with getting help to your questions if others don't see you as "just another victim", know what I mean?

Of course i know what you mean, i just feel slightly disappointed that people have decided to discuss my name and not my actual situation. It puts me off asking questions in the future.

However having said that, if i am to post another thread, i will contact Loveshack to get my username changed.

January 11, 2009

Of course i know what you mean, i just feel slightly disappointed that people have decided to discuss my name and not my actual situation. It puts me off asking questions in the future.

However having said that, if i am to post another thread, i will contact Loveshack to get my username changed.

Good. You will have a better response.

But people can't help their impressions either. It'd be like seeing a post from "wifebeater" or something, although not as severe as that.

January 12, 2009

Thing is, people aren't going to even want to give advice when someone is blatantly labeling themselves as a victim. Why? Victims don't take affirmative action, they don't accept advice, they just whine. Mope. Pout. A lot like what you're doing in this thread, actually. Honestly, your name might as well be "Pitiful."

January 12, 2009

Thing is, people aren't going to even want to give advice when someone is blatantly labeling themselves as a victim. Why? Victims don't take affirmative action, they don't accept advice, they just whine. Mope. Pout. A lot like what you're doing in this thread, actually. Honestly, your name might as well be "Pitiful."

True, upon opening this thread this was the first thing I noticed and it set me up to expect a particular tone. I have to say that your pouting "fine I'll never ask for advice here again" for a SECOND time fits the attitude I was expecting.

If you carry a similar approach to life and dating it will be difficult to get the kind of Valentines Day you'd like. Don't get upset with posters, try to see why people view you the way they do an what the results of that may be.

If the guy you're dating cares for you he'll happily offer up a sweet gesture for Valentines Day, even if he thinks it's a silly holiday. It's not so much about telling a guy you want a Valentines Day with him, it's about being a woman a guy WANTS to do something romantic for. Have you asked your current bf if he's planning on doing anything with you on V day? How long have you been with him?

January 12, 2009

Thing is, people aren't going to even want to give advice when someone is blatantly labeling themselves as a victim. Why? Victims don't take affirmative action, they don't accept advice, they just whine. Mope. Pout. A lot like what you're doing in this thread, actually. Honestly, your name might as well be "Pitiful."

I accepted the one piece of advice i was given for my question.

I dont really see how insulting me helps anything. Ive said i will change my username in future threads, i dont see any further problems with that.

January 12, 2009

I accepted the one piece of advice i was given for my question.

I dont really see how insulting me helps anything. Ive said i will change my username in future threads, i dont see any further problems with that.

I wasn't insulting you, I was merely commenting on your user name and similar whining.

Why don't you just change your user name NOW?

January 12, 2009

True, upon opening this thread this was the first thing I noticed and it set me up to expect a particular tone. I have to say that your pouting "fine I'll never ask for advice here again" for a SECOND time fits the attitude I was expecting.

If you carry a similar approach to life and dating it will be difficult to get the kind of Valentines Day you'd like. Don't get upset with posters, try to see why people view you the way they do an what the results of that may be.

Yes, thanks, this is more understandable.

As for the pouting and etc, i believe this is a site for people with problems, i wouldnt find it uncommon for people to react negatively (pout,whine)

But as ive done in previous threads, i accept advice and i appreciate that you have taken into account my question.

Im feeling extremely down at the moment, its true i am getting upset at posters.. i cannot help my sensitivity But yes, i do realise the impression im giving to people.

If the guy you're dating cares for you he'll happily offer up a sweet gesture for Valentines Day, even if he thinks it's a silly holiday. It's not so much about telling a guy you want a Valentines Day with him, it's about being a woman a guy WANTS to do something romantic for. Have you asked your current bf if he's planning on doing anything with you on V day? How long have you been with him?

Again, thanks. You're right, i will have to bring this up with him to find out if he has any plans or would like to do anything. Ive not asked him yet no, but i plan to bring it up closer the time. Ive been with him in a relationship for a short time (3 months) however i have been 'involved' with him for over a year.

January 12, 2009

Again, thanks. You're right, i will have to bring this up with him to find out if he has any plans or would like to do anything. Ive not asked him yet no, but i plan to bring it up closer the time. Ive been with him in a relationship for a short time (3 months) however i have been 'involved' with him for over a year.

I think that's a sufficient amount of time to want to do something special together. Not everyone is in to Valentines Day, and I know some guys think it's too much money and pressure, which is fine. However, suggesting that you'd like to have a nice, cozy dinner together is totally reasonable, I don't see why he wouldn't want to do that with his gf. If he's not feeling the V day spirit maybe you can share some champagne and split dessert after your meal to make it feel festive and special.

January 12, 2009

i cannot help my sensitivity

Of course you can.

As for V-Day, if you're sensing he's not into it, it's likely because he doesn't like the pressure and cliche that it's kinda turned out to be. Perhaps you should take the reins and plan the evening, and tell him you're doing as much? I'm sure he'd be more than happy to go along with something that will make you happy.

January 12, 2009

I would just casually bring up V-day and see what his plans are. Maybe even tell him that you never really spent the day with anyone special.

Keep us updated and let us know if he does anything. Good luck

January 12, 2009

I would think he would have plans, it's just common sense for a guy, unless he wants to be in the doghouse. However, his plans may not meet your expectations...so I'd be happy to have him and not dwell on what does or doesn't happen that day. Just my two cents.

January 12, 2009

Just so posters here know, my name is now changed.

I am now Your Favourite Smile, lyrics from the best song ever.

Anyways! back on topic..

I think that's a sufficient amount of time to want to do something special together. Not everyone is in to Valentines Day, and I know some guys think it's too much money and pressure, which is fine. However, suggesting that you'd like to have a nice, cozy dinner together is totally reasonable, I don't see why he wouldn't want to do that with his gf. If he's not feeling the V day spirit maybe you can share some champagne and split dessert after your meal to make it feel festive and special.

You have a good point, he doesnt have a lot of money at all, so i guess its understandable if any mention of that crops up in conversation.

(Not that i have big expectations of him to pay for anything big of course, im just aware of his lack of money )

Thankyou for these ideas, its got me thinking more imaginatively now

As for V-Day, if you're sensing he's not into it, it's likely because he doesn't like the pressure and cliche that it's kinda turned out to be. Perhaps you should take the reins and plan the evening, and tell him you're doing as much? I'm sure he'd be more than happy to go along with something that will make you happy.

Yeah, as much as it might disappoint me, i believe that actually being in the relationship with him is special enough in itself so if he isnt the Valentine's type, im going to be ok with that.

Ill just see what happens when i give it a mention, i dont want to seem too pressurising with the whole thing, itd be silly...

I would just casually bring up V-day and see what his plans are. Maybe even tell him that you never really spent the day with anyone special.

Keep us updated and let us know if he does anything. Good luck

Definitely, ill bring it up in a casual way, nothing too intense!

Thankyou!

I would think he would have plans, it's just common sense for a guy, unless he wants to be in the doghouse. However, his plans may not meet your expectations...so I'd be happy to have him and not dwell on what does or doesn't happen that day. Just my two cents.

Yeah i agree, i appreciate him being here in the (few) times we do spend together, and i wont make unrealistic expectations of him for Valentine's.

Its only a day after all, every day should feel special when in a relationship i guess..

Thanks for all the advice I appreciate it

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