Joyvke Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 So tonight we talked a bit, you said you wanted to Skype tomorrow on Sunday. I wrote down a list of things what I wanted to say. Saw you were offline on msn, but online on Skype. Decided to ring you. The things I wrote down and told you: "Why I want to be friends: - I like you, still want to meet up in the future, - You're great to talk with, - You can lighten up my mood (well not lately but yeah usually you could), - You are you, don't change who you are. Why I don't want to be friends: - The lies, - The fact you "used" me, - There is always someone better then me, - I can't handle it anymore Everything together it's too much for me. I don't know what to do. Not wanted to meet with me, but with her, that's unfair towards me. Dislike the fact you want a woman wit ****loads of emotional baggage + old depression etc and all that ****. Not to forget she has a kid. Tough situation for me as it is unfair all that happened. I feel betrayed. -- I don't want to talk anymore. No friends in the near future at least. Perhaps later. Will miss you loads. I just can't do it. I don't wanna know you're with someone else which isn't me. Can talk when situation fails or when you're really bothered with something. Though I'm not you're 'best' friend anymore, not as it used to be. Still hope you realise you prolly lost one of the most devoted people regarding frirendship and more in your life. For now it's for sure, I can guarantee that. Who knows what the future holds. Still think you're worth it to wait for, but not going to sit around and wait forever. Best to remove or block (maybe just block I guess) and not talk anymore. Untill it goes wrong and I can get my chance, or when I'm ready to be friends again, I'd mail you."This is just the brief things I wrote down. All kind of words so I wouldn't lose what I wanted to say and all. So yeah, goodbye my friend. I will really miss you regardless of what happened. It was good to hear you actually did care about it. Makes me feel a bit less useless. Till we meet again, I hope we will. Joyce === This is shamelessly copy pasted from my blog. These are just bits and pieces of what's being told. We talked about some other things. In the end it was a Skype call from about 2 hours. I cried, he cried, and it all sucks. I can't be the friend he wants, because I'm too jealous about this situation. I wouldn't mind if it was someone else, but this is just, bah. Yes we haven't met and yes I'd still love to meet him, to see if he's worth a friendship and maybe more. I really like this guy. This would be his last chance. If we would be friends again and I get to hear he lies to me again, there is the exit. I already promised that, so I won't back off on my promise for one last chance. I won't be sitting around forever. Also this time I will definitely not pass if I can get romantically involved. Bah.
famke Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 hey, I see you're from the netherlands too - hallo, alles goed? anyway I'm wondering how long its been since you broke up with your boyfriend? I personally think you can only try to be friends after a couple of months or longer. I think you have to get over him first. move forward, and when you're really trully over him, then look back and ask yourself: do I still want to be/ need to be friends with him. then you can start to be friends with your ex. But you say you want to see this guy again, but hasn't he hurt you? how did you breakup with him? good luck!
Author Joyvke Posted January 11, 2009 Author Posted January 11, 2009 Famke, he wasn't really my boyfriend. He was a guy I've been speaking to for a long time and I fell in love with his personality. Kinda weird huh. I really wanted to meet up with him and see how it would be for real, as friends and who knows maybe more. So yeah we never really got together. At the moment he has a crush on someone he hasn't met irl either, for 2,5 yrs, she backs off all the time, not contacting for months etc. It's like a cycle. He's gonna give that one more shot. In the meantime I feel crap, cause he always give the girls that treat him like **** a chance, but not me, which hurts. I'm jealous when it comes to that, I'm not jealous in a relation, but atm I'm feeling pretty down regarding it. Hence why I broke off the friendship. He can always poke me when something is wrong. He has me in his msn, I removed him, not put him on ignore so he can. Or when I mail I'm ready to try this friendship, but at the moment that won't work for me. You're right regarding the see if you want to be/ need to be friends. If I'm better off without I don't think I will go back. We'll see what the future does . Verder alles goed hoor, met jou? .
Butterfly01 Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 I am learning the hard way that famke is right, you can't be friends with someone you are still in love with. I am trying and all it's doing is proloning the agony. He has moved on and feels he can talk to me about his new gf -- and it is breaking my heart all over again. One day I will be able to get the courge to just say goodbye, but I'm not that strong right now.
EmperorR Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 Hmm I tried being friends with my ex, but i couldn't talk to her on the phone, couldn't see her, on im she only wanted to talk about a boy she had buterflies for, so I went NC, and I thought she was my friend but she only contacted me once in ah 5 months:laugh:. Friends is a crock of bs,
Peter_pan Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 yeh, its funny, my ex went into another re right away and she never actually said can we be friends, she specifically said, id like to keep in touch with you.. right. so when i txt her etc never got anything back her answer cause i lost your number and i thought you still wanted me back.. wow thats nice hey.
Author Joyvke Posted January 12, 2009 Author Posted January 12, 2009 As I said, we weren't in a relation. We were friends and I wanted to meet up to see if my crush was real. At the moment he likes someone else and I can't cope with that. Especially since she's from NL as well and just the story around it makes me wonder why he prefers an emotional rollercoaster over me. This girl says she likes him and then she dissapears when they talk about meeting up. Last time they hadn't talked for months, and before that as well. I hope that will happen again . I'm awful for hoping that I know. Peter_Pan: Sucks if your ex smses that though, shows how much they cared .
Peter_pan Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 As I said, we weren't in a relation. We were friends and I wanted to meet up to see if my crush was real. At the moment he likes someone else and I can't cope with that. Especially since she's from NL as well and just the story around it makes me wonder why he prefers an emotional rollercoaster over me. This girl says she likes him and then she dissapears when they talk about meeting up. Last time they hadn't talked for months, and before that as well. I hope that will happen again . I'm awful for hoping that I know. Peter_Pan: Sucks if your ex smses that though, shows how much they cared . oh no this was in person i saw her, after a year and asked her. in a drunken state.. also it hurts cause i do miss her and stuff, but its like now it never even happened its all becoming a blur and a distant memory
Author Joyvke Posted January 12, 2009 Author Posted January 12, 2009 oh no this was in person i saw her, after a year and asked her. in a drunken state.. also it hurts cause i do miss her and stuff, but its like now it never even happened its all becoming a blur and a distant memory /hugs, I'm sorry. I wish I could have met M in person honestly. Could show him the world. It's not fair, why does he go for a girl with such baggage . Besides, he's not even stable enough to be a dad let alone be a dad for someone else's kid... Urgh! Frustrations.
Author Joyvke Posted January 21, 2009 Author Posted January 21, 2009 Urgh, got a PM on a forum yesterday from him, after 11 days of no contact: i hope your exams went ok joyce. also hope you are ok. sorry for the contact. M So I didn't wanted to sent anything back, but decided to go for: Don't be sorry, there is nothing to be scared off. Everything is fine, thanks for asking. Though, don't worry on me so much. Take care of yourself first. No name, so it would be a little bit more cold. Got this reply this morning: i will! gald things are ok, hope they continue. you take it easy! Stupid stupid me, saw him online and decided to poke him, we talked a bit. He's "ok", and sick at the moment. Me? I'm feeling like I did just before I paused this friendship. Why the hell did I talk /sigh. Even though it was shortly and all, but still. I do miss my friend, but I don't miss the drama. I don't miss the fact I'm not "the girl he wants" and getting sorta pointed onto that all the time when he talks about the other girl . Blergh, idiot me!
Author Joyvke Posted January 24, 2009 Author Posted January 24, 2009 Mission: Friendship annihilated. Mission status: accomplished Goal: getting happy Goal status: not feeling happy at all Broke it off for real this time. I noticed how much of a step back those messages were and I've been thinking about him alot. While I was finally not thinking of him and getting happier. My old self again. Just great timing, a day before my birthday . Day 1.
Recommended Posts