Riffmeister General Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 It's gone to hell in a hand-basket again! Why I bothered to check, I don't know, but I've discovered that my ex removed all my friends from her Facebook. I immediately thought it was in retaliation to me doing it to her, and thought that was a bit of an overreaction since I wrote her a quick email just saying it was nothing personal, I just need a clean break for a while. So I went back and re-read the email. It was a little more harsh than I remembered! It ended with something like "I just wish I'd never brought all this up before I left." meaning I wish I hadn't told her I liked her before coming out to Canada. A bit unnecessary perhaps... but I was hurt! Anyway, now my brain's on overload, worrying about whether or not I've offended her and that's why she's done it. Why do I feel guilty if I have offended her?! That's leading me to want to email to find out! Her sister never mentioned anything about it in her emails to me, and I know she tells her everything, so maybe I'm worried about nothing. Maybe she did it to get distance from me, or to stop me seeing her through my friends... there are a few possibilities, I guess. I'm now thinking she's parading her new relationship on Myspace to get to me. But then she didn't delete the band from her Myspace. Maybe it was so she can have whatever she likes on her Facebook without me seeing... AAAGGGHHH!!! WHY DO I CARE?! STOP THINKING!! Sh*t, I'm not gonna sleep a wink tonight. I guess what bothers me the most is that bit of hope I was hoping would fizzle out naturally, I'm now worrying that I've destroyed it through what I've said/done. This is really stressing me out. What a terrible few days.
Geishawhelk Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 Ok, this is what you do. Last thing of all, whilst you are lying in bed, you write down on a piece of paper, everything that's going through your head, or that you'd tell her if she was there. Everything. EVERYTHING. Then, put paper and pen down, turn out the light and get some sleep. If you suddenly think of something else, turn the light back on, and add, change whatever, on the paper. Then turn out the light again, and get some sleep. Do this until you get some sleep. In the morning, pick up the piece of paper, burn it, and have a coffee. It works.
DSM-IV Tom Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 Holy God man you're paranoid. You're in like super overdrive panic mode of paranoia. It's so funny seeing people write things along the lines of what you have. They're like "Omg I didn't say HELLO! Now I don't know whats going to happen! The relationships over cuz of this now I just know it!" Take a break, seriously. It doesn't matter what you say or do or did after the breakup. It's over.
birdie Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 It's gone to hell in a hand-basket again! Why I bothered to check, I don't know, but I've discovered that my ex removed all my friends from her Facebook. I immediately thought it was in retaliation to me doing it to her, and thought that was a bit of an overreaction since I wrote her a quick email just saying it was nothing personal, I just need a clean break for a while. So I went back and re-read the email. It was a little more harsh than I remembered! It ended with something like "I just wish I'd never brought all this up before I left." meaning I wish I hadn't told her I liked her before coming out to Canada. A bit unnecessary perhaps... but I was hurt! Anyway, now my brain's on overload, worrying about whether or not I've offended her and that's why she's done it. Why do I feel guilty if I have offended her?! That's leading me to want to email to find out! Her sister never mentioned anything about it in her emails to me, and I know she tells her everything, so maybe I'm worried about nothing. Maybe she did it to get distance from me, or to stop me seeing her through my friends... there are a few possibilities, I guess. I'm now thinking she's parading her new relationship on Myspace to get to me. But then she didn't delete the band from her Myspace. Maybe it was so she can have whatever she likes on her Facebook without me seeing... AAAGGGHHH!!! WHY DO I CARE?! STOP THINKING!! Sh*t, I'm not gonna sleep a wink tonight. I guess what bothers me the most is that bit of hope I was hoping would fizzle out naturally, I'm now worrying that I've destroyed it through what I've said/done. This is really stressing me out. What a terrible few days. yeah I really get that. I try to be honest but kind at the same time and when I realise it hasn't come through I feel really guilty. It is completely natural and you will just have to wait until it passes. You can't really explain yourself to her without starting from Adam and Eve so just leave it. It won't matter in the long run. She probably needs some privacy. I've just deleted a recent ex and would have done that to his friends too. I don't post anything personal but I just don't want to keep thinking that they are all reading it. In fact, I have some of my old exes on facebook but never their friends, they are not MY friends.
Author Riffmeister General Posted January 11, 2009 Author Posted January 11, 2009 I know I'm reading way too much into this probably. I mean, there are a million reasons she did it without it being necessary that she now hates me. I just hate that feeling that she does, that she now thinks I'M the jerk when she should be the one to feel bad. Ugh. Really didn't sleep well at all worrying about this. I'm gonna draft some sort of email explaining things or something, anything to get these thoughts out of my head. Maybe this is for the best. Maybe this hurts so much because I'm faced with the unflinching reality that it's completely over, and even though it's way before I'm ready to hear it, the sooner I face it, the sooner I can get over it, right...? I wish ANY of this was making me feel better, but I know the only thing that will is knowing for sure she doesn't hate me. I was looking forward to the time when I could be happy just as friends again.
birdie Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 it will come. people forgive way bigger things than this. it will depend on how generous she is, if she is really petty she will be never friends with you anyway
Author Riffmeister General Posted January 11, 2009 Author Posted January 11, 2009 It's true, but honestly, right now, the only thing I know will make me feel better is if I know she knows I meant no offense. I've drafted an email which I think is actually pretty good, not pleady, not desperate (I know I know! Sending one at all is pleady and desperate, but there's nothing about the future or how I feel, ok?!), just "I said some things in the heat of the moment I didn't mean, I don't regret us..." Even if she doesn't reply to it at least my mind is at rest, it's off my chest, and I know she knows the truth. I know everyone will disagree with this, but I need to do what makes me feel better, and I hate thinking ANYONE hates me, never mind her. It bugs me. I'll leave it for the day and think about it.
PandaStillLovesBunny Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 Yeah, man, I know how much of a total bitch Facebook can be. I thought I was finally making some headway with my ex-girlfriend, that maybe we were on track to actually be able to hear each others' names without wanting to kill each other, only to have her ignore my friend request AND tell her sister to remove me as a friend. What the hell? We had talked just a month or so before this, and everything was fine; then she goes off like this. Whatever, man -- Facebook is the relationship killer. If I were you, I wouldn't add anyone I was in a relationship with to Facebook; in fact, I'd make my profile private and not tell anyone I was dating that I had one. I guess that doesn't help you now, but it might serve as a warning for the future.
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