sinkerswim Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 Well...he was gone all day at a computer/electronics show....I had a depressing day...but went to work at my 2nd job tonite..and it wasnt too bad. Well, I get home and there are flowers on the table for me... but at the same time after I walk in the door and see them.... he instantly lets me know he is on the phone, so he goes in his computer room and shuts the door. Of course my curiosity got the best of me....so I stood by the door to listen....he was talking to a girl. My heart sank...but at the same time I got mad about it. He comes out and says "hey sweetie, how was work tonite?" I just kinda snapped back....and said "I cant believe you would jump into another relationship so quickly..,my God" He replied that he wasnt jumping into a relationship..and so I asked who it was on the phone and he wouldnt tell me. He then picked up the flowrs he got me and said "maybe i should just throw these away then" Of course, I felt bad b/c I didnt thank him right away for them, and said "thank you very much,Baby...I do love them" He was then aggravated w/me...and i did love the flowers...but I was still hurt that he could already be chatting it up w/someone else. I sat on the couch and he was getting ready for bed...and I told him that I loved him very much, and that we were together 4 years. He said "yes...we WERE together" he then said "i know how much you love me, you tell me constantly.....I didnt make this decision about you moving out lightly. I know its very hard and this is a tough time for you. I keep telling you this is not meant to hurt you and I didnt plan for this to happen or hurt you....but We have to do this as easy quick and as painless as possible here" He then went to bed...and now here I am thinking why he could ALREADY be into someone else before I even move out? Why is he doing this to me? Why did he bring me flowers? It was a sweet thought...but why cant he be hurting like I am? Yes ..he told me tonite that he loves me...but its over. I cant just leave....I have only 5 bucks to my name! I dont want to leave him and say goodbye...but I cant stand seeing him acting like a different person and not wanting me anymore. I know from now on until i go home,that I'll be paranoid that hes gonna see someone else.
CONFUSEDHEART Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 I'm hurting for you. The way you started your post I'm assuming there is a back story somewhere on this forum, but based on your post you are living with someone you are in a 4 yr relationship with that just ended and your planning on moving back home. You say you have no $ to move, but unfortunately your current environment appears to be emotionally unstable for you. Roll out. I'm sorry are you seeking advice or just venting?
Author sinkerswim Posted January 11, 2009 Author Posted January 11, 2009 I'm hurting for you. The way you started your post I'm assuming there is a back story somewhere on this forum, but based on your post you are living with someone you are in a 4 yr relationship with that just ended and your planning on moving back home. You say you have no $ to move, but unfortunately your current environment appears to be emotionally unstable for you. Roll out. I'm sorry are you seeking advice or just venting? Hey there... glad to see someone is still around tonite. I have been on the forums here the past week...I posted my story a few times... I guess I need support...advice...whatever. Just pretty much heartsick. He promised me the world for 3 years...now he just isnt happy anymore.
Template Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 Hey Sink, It really makes my heart drop to hear your story. Like you said, your scenario is basically the same as mine. In a lot of ways worse. I can really empathize how you feel. You still love someone, was giving your world to them, and you just can't believe they can just dismiss you like that. It's really messed up that he's already possibly seeing someone already. I'm not going to lie, it'll get worse before it gets better, but when it does get better, and you find yourself, you will thank him in that not being with him is the best thing that ever happened to you. I know it doesn't feel like this now, cuz I feel the same way. But it will.
Author sinkerswim Posted January 11, 2009 Author Posted January 11, 2009 Hey Sink, It really makes my heart drop to hear your story. Like you said, your scenario is basically the same as mine. In a lot of ways worse. I can really empathize how you feel. You still love someone, was giving your world to them, and you just can't believe they can just dismiss you like that. It's really messed up that he's already possibly seeing someone already. I'm not going to lie, it'll get worse before it gets better, but when it does get better, and you find yourself, you will thank him in that not being with him is the best thing that ever happened to you. I know it doesn't feel like this now, cuz I feel the same way. But it will. Thanks, Template....always good to hear from you. I know....it IS messed up. I dread falling asleep every night, knowing when I wake up the pain and depression hit me all over again....and now its gonna be even worse. How are you holding up? I think about you alot...b/c of the similarities in our situation.
Template Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 I can't lie. I am depressed. I'll just have to let these phases come as they should and just run the gamut of the phases. My whole relationship with her, I always thought about US, and what's best for US. I never once thought selfishly about myself, so to be be in a situation where I have to only think about myself, I am really unaccustomed, and to be honest I liked thinking about us-it made me feel good. What's bad is that I'm torn in two right now. The first is a person that knows I was wronged. I deserved better overall, and that I have the right to be angry. Hell everyone I talk to from my deep close personal friendships, to acquaintances at work, are all in concensus that it should have been ME that break up with her. The other half of me right now just wants her back, if only even as a friend-for the thought that relationship can somehow be saved. That side cannot understand how a woman has a man move in with her from another state-she must obviously loves him deeply, and then just after two months, do what she did. I personaly cannot turn off love, how did she? I'm sure you are going through the same though processes, so I don't want to bring up any more bad emotions. I wish you luck in this process-I know you are a good person, and you deserve this luck.
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