nittygritty Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 You didn't demonstrate good manners by asking to be repaid $5 dollars (despite your willingness to forgive the less than dollar difference). Next time, just say "no" to letting teammates ride in your car to sporting events.
hotgurl Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 I have to agree with most the posters here. I would have paid for the kids' dinner. He became your guest when you let him ride with you. You already knew you were going to go to dinner so you should have paid. $6 is not a lot of money at all. In the future I just wouldn't drive anyone. Also maybe you are so bent out of shape because you are stesed about money. Seriously if your budget is so tight you can't afford an extra $6 that is really stressful.
Author mopar crazy Posted January 13, 2009 Author Posted January 13, 2009 you still have not let this thing GO!!!!! listen to yourself - saying the same thing over and over and over and over! LET IT GO! you made your point and this will work out the way it is supposed to. in the future - SAY NO! say no to the ride, to the food, to the extra money... all of it. because you want to make this a big deal. so let it go - and then NONE of it is possible. the criticism of the Mom, the boy, the buying of food, the way he spends his Mom's money, the playing of video games, taking pictures, the borrowing of money, what the boy ordered and how much it cost, the asking for payback... NONE of this will need to be an issue if you say NO in the future. none of it is yours to deal with anyway, so stay out of it. sheez, i've never seen such a big deal made out of a simple little nothingness thing. try living with death(s) in your family and you may understand how small this issue is. how's that for perspective?[/QUOTE] Ya know what, I HAVE lived w/ a death pf a close member in my family! WTF did you have to f@cking go there? Everyone has a vent in their lives once in awhile and this was mine. I was irritate and annoyed this kid asked to borrow money from me. I came here to vent like A LOT of ppl do. I don't see you running over to "Personal confessions and Rants" on LS and telling them to stop venting and maybe they should have a death in their family to see why their vent is "nothingness." I find it rather comical that you are yelling at me to let this go. I have let it go. Just b/c I'm still replying on my own thread to other members doesn't mean I haven't let it go. If reading this thread irritates you, then stop reading it.
Author mopar crazy Posted January 13, 2009 Author Posted January 13, 2009 Oh for f@cks sakes, it's not the stupid money I paid out for this kid. I have to LMFAO at some of these replies. Thanks for the laughs! I have to show this thread to some of my friends and let them get a good laugh too. I guess the next time when my own children ride w/ someone to a game I will expect the parents to buy them their meals for them so I wont send a dime w/ my kids. Thank you for informing me that my kids teammates parents are suppose to buy my kids meals them. I'm going to tell my kids to pick the most expensive place in town and order the most expensive thing off the menu. Why not? My kids are their responsibility right? They need to pay for their meals so why not make it worth it. I guess the coaches are wrong for not paying for their meals too huh? And I did this kid a HUGE favor by letting him ride w/ us. He is lucky I didn't say no and he would have had to ride w/ the teammate he can't stand.
Author mopar crazy Posted January 13, 2009 Author Posted January 13, 2009 You didn't demonstrate good manners by asking to be repaid $5 dollars (despite your willingness to forgive the less than dollar difference). Next time, just say "no" to letting teammates ride in your car to sporting events. Funny, I guess the 15 or so mothers on another board all have bad manners b/c they all told me I should tell her he asked to borrow money. All of them told me if their child asked to borrow money from someone they would want to know. I don't care if teammates want to ride w/ us, but I'm not shelling out a bunch of money when I'm being nice and giving them a ride there for free. At least they can do is bring money to eat. Period. Guess things are different here than they are there. If I invited a kid to ride w/ us I'm happy to buy them their meals, BTDT. But when a kid ask for a favor and a free ride, nope, he can pay for his own meals. I would never expect the parents to buy my kids meals and that is why I send them w/ plenty of cash.
Ocean-Blue Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 mopar, I'm curious as to whether this mom would've given your child money, had she been in your position. Also, what about this irks you so much? I suspect it's the history you share with the boy's mother. Perhaps you wouldn't have gotten so upset if it were another person's child (someone with whom you have a decent relationship/friendship?). Is it the principle that bothers you? That they feel (mother and son) they can take advantage of you? If that's the case, it would bother me too (given the background info you've given here). Also, he's a 17 year old boy, right? He's not really a child. In fact, he's a year away from being an adult. It's much different if this were a 7 year old or even an 11 year old...but he's 17! Still, I wouldn't have asked for repayment. The money simply isn't worth the demerit points in class, right? Also, talking to the mother is pointless. I personally think you should've left it at venting (either here or to your H, etc). Next time, set clear boundaries and don't let such people put you in such a position.
Author mopar crazy Posted January 13, 2009 Author Posted January 13, 2009 mopar, I'm curious as to whether this mom would've given your child money, had she been in your position. Also, what about this irks you so much? I suspect it's the history you share with the boy's mother. Perhaps you wouldn't have gotten so upset if it were another person's child (someone with whom you have a decent relationship/friendship?). Is it the principle that bothers you? That they feel (mother and son) they can take advantage of you? If that's the case, it would bother me too (given the background info you've given here). Also, he's a 17 year old boy, right? He's not really a child. In fact, he's a year away from being an adult. It's much different if this were a 7 year old or even an 11 year old...but he's 17! Still, I wouldn't have asked for repayment. The money simply isn't worth the demerit points in class, right? Also, talking to the mother is pointless. I personally think you should've left it at venting (either here or to your H, etc). Next time, set clear boundaries and don't let such people put you in such a position. I honestly can't say if she would or not. As much as she complains about being broke, she probably wouldn't have. I also can't say he would even be put into that position b/c I wouldn't allow him to ride w/ them. He wouldn't want to b/c she smokes and my kids hate cigarette smell and she smokes in her car and house. What had me irk so much about giving this boy money is that he spent all the money his mom gave him on the video games, and the picture, and then turns around and ask to borrow money from me. I have spoke to several ppl about this (on a different board and a few IRL friends) and they all agreed, I should speak to the mom and let her know that he had to borrow money from me. They are all mothers and they all said they would want to know if their child had to borrow money from someone. Far as I can see the co-worker relationship has not been tarnished by this. She stopped and helped me out today w/ something. If she was pissed at me she wouldn't have done that. And you're right, he is almost an adult. He should be more responsible. I certainly wouldn't have been as upset if this was a young child.
nittygritty Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 Funny, I guess the 15 or so mothers on another board all have bad manners b/c they all told me I should tell her he asked to borrow money. All of them told me if their child asked to borrow money from someone they would want to know. I don't care if teammates want to ride w/ us, but I'm not shelling out a bunch of money when I'm being nice and giving them a ride there for free. At least they can do is bring money to eat. Period. Guess things are different here than they are there. If I invited a kid to ride w/ us I'm happy to buy them their meals, BTDT. But when a kid ask for a favor and a free ride, nope, he can pay for his own meals. I would never expect the parents to buy my kids meals and that is why I send them w/ plenty of cash. I stated how I handle the situation when I take someone else's kids to sporting events. I also ALWAYS give my kids enough money to cover ALL of their expenses and I expect them to spend the money that I have given them, on their meals, drinks, etc. However, If for whatever reason my kid were to come up short $6 (which has never happened before) I hope that the parent they were riding with would be kind enough to let them borrow $6 without being rude (like your husband saying to you, "your not going to pay for that...") or petty about it. I wouldn't allow my kid to ride with a parent who behaves the way that you and your husband did over $6 measley dollars. I have a 17 year old daughter and there has been more than one occasion that I've purchased meals, drinks, tampons, etc. for other people's kids at out of town sport events, regardless of whether or not the kid rode in my car to the event. I didn't think a thing about helping them out because their parents weren't there.
Author mopar crazy Posted January 14, 2009 Author Posted January 14, 2009 I stated how I handle the situation when I take someone else's kids to sporting events. I also ALWAYS give my kids enough money to cover ALL of their expenses and I expect them to spend the money that I have given them, on their meals, drinks, etc. However, If for whatever reason my kid were to come up short $6 (which has never happened before) I hope that the parent they were riding with would be kind enough to let them borrow $6 without being rude (like your husband saying to you, "your not going to pay for that...") or petty about it. I wouldn't allow my kid to ride with a parent who behaves the way that you and your husband did over $6 measley dollars. I have a 17 year old daughter and there has been more than one occasion that I've purchased meals, drinks, tampons, etc. for other people's kids at out of town sport events, regardless of whether or not the kid rode in my car to the event. I didn't think a thing about helping them out because their parents weren't there. First, my H did not say that in front of the kid, he would never do that.He said "You are buying his too?" Not "You are not buying his too." He couldn't understand why I was buying the kids meal when he had brought money. He didn't' realize he had blown it all on video games and a picture booth, and a Blizzard he did not need. I'm always willing to help a child out, if they are in need. However this kid would have never been in need if he wouldn't have spent the rest of his money on what he did and then asked to borrow money. I have taken plenty of my daughters friends w/ us to their games and I have always bought their meals, even once bought them matching necklaces and I was happy to do that for her. However, she was there as our guest. She didn't ask me if she could bum a ride. And once again, it's not the measly $6 that ticked me off (why I even put the amount I don't know) it was the fact he asked to borrow money, period.
whichwayisup Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 If this kid was younger, like 14 and under than the $$ issue wouldn't be a big deal. But it is because the kid is 17 and he knows better, but just doesn't care. He's selfish and not thinking that's all - Like most teens. Anyway, just an idea, but instead of her paying you back (coz really, what's 6 bucks), ask the kid to work it off by doing a chore around your house. Either shovel some snow, or mow the lawn (can't remember where you live and what the weather is like) this way the kid learns that life isn't a free ride and he can't expect others to bail him out.
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