She gave me the "Just got my heart broken, I need some time from you" line, now what?

[Flamenco81]

Hello. OK I'll try and not make this too long. I live in NY and I have started to really like a girl I work with. She moved here a couple months ago from another state. She said she had a boyfriend back there, but never mentioned anything about him again. So we started talking more, sharing the subway on our way back (we live like 2 stops apart), etc. I asked her out and we went to have drinks once, and another time to have dinner and then a late coffee. I had not tried to make a move yet because the situation hadn;t lend itself to it yet.

 

So then in New Years, under advice from a female friend of mine, I though I'd just be direct. So I walked her back home and I told her that I really enjoyed spending time with her and I liked her. She sort of started thinking for a moment and said "I've had a my heart broken, and so iw oulod need to ask you for some time". We just hugged, said goodbye and that was it. I then saw her at a party at her house that her friends gave and things were all normal.

 

But, now it turns out her ex is in town for a week, and what happened was he cheated on her. So she was very depressed and hurt. I have given her support and everything. But anyways the guy is here until tomorrow, and I have not talked to her in almost a week because I don;t want get in the middle of this now.

 

So now I am wondering what to do? Should I continue to pursue her and keep asking her to go out? Should I back out completely?

 

Is there some interest from her part from what she said? I figure she could have blown me off, but that phrase "need some time from you" is almost like letting me know there uis some interest for the future.

 

Any advice will be welcome. Thanks.

[dreamergrl]

She needs time to sort out her feelings. If her boyfriend is in town, it seems to me as she is trying to figure out if she can forgive him. If she can't, she's still going to need time to get over this. Be a friend, she knows you like her, and she wont forget. If you push it, she'll flee.

[carhill]

Step back romantically; date other women. Right now, you're in the unrequited attraction zone. Fanciful, but not healthy. She's working out her feelings for her boyfriend. You are not on her radar other than as a potential branch to grasp.

 

Definitely OK to be a friend

[Flamenco81]

OK, thanks for the advice. I know. It's like I am willing to give her time because I really like her, but it also tears me up not to do anything and also worries me any guy somewhere can suddenly come up to her and maybe win her over.

 

I will try and keep doing stuff. Tonight I might see her at a friends party and then maybe next week I'll ask her if she want s to go get something to eat.

 

Should I still ast normally like having some innocent flirting physical contact and stuff like that? Or should I step back completely and act serious? Should I try to maybe go in for a quick kiss or something? Again not to like ask her to be together now, but to soprt of solidify my interest?

[carhill]

Bring a date to the friend's party. This is a key thing with women (since you're asking about this woman). They want what they perceive others have. If you're with someone else and she's interested, your stock goes up. Remember, she is resolving her feelings for her boyfriend. Life is about nuances