JustBeTrue Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 OK so i started getting serious with this guy at the beginning of august...we officially became boyfriend and girlfriend. Recently i found an email that he wrote to one of his ex flings on aug 16th, saying "oh ive been trying to call u, keep in touch, kisses." Then i found another email from aug 29 (while i was out of town) to her which including sexy pix i recently had taken of him from our vacation, and in this message he was like "ok so you are coming to see me in october right." This really bothers me because I moved in with him on sept 4th. I confronted him about this and he said "oh im insecure, i didnt think u were gonna come back and move in with me." I answered with "you couldnt wait a week till i got back...u r my boyfriend!!" Then in october i remember her calling, and he was all giggly with her, and still continued to tell her to keep in touch. I flipped out...i mean, he was flirting right in front of my face. He told me that he was high, and just got nervous when she called and didnt know what else to do. A couple of weeks ago we got into a fight and i told him i was gonna leave him...surprise surprise, he emailed her to "keep in touch." He continues to tell me that he loves me, and that he has stopped contacting her. I didnt see anymore flirtatious emails after the 29th, but it still bothers me that he emails her when we fight. This girl wasnt even his girlfriend, its just some random skank he met while traveling and had a fling with. He has cheated on everyone in his past, but he told me that he is over that, and wants to move on with his life and have a serious relationship. I dont know if i can trust him...in the beginning i totally did, but now that i found these emails, i dont know what to do. He always has excuses for why he cheated, like "oh she threw herself at me" or "well i wasnt married to her." But im not married to him, so is he gonna cheat on me soon as some girl throws herself at him?? Another problem i have, and this is my problem... He has had sex with over 70 women. It makes me feel really insecure, like he will just bang anyone. I dont feel special at all. I dont know if i can handle it anymore. I really love him, and i will be devastated to leave him, but at the same time, i dont want to be a fool that gets cheated on, and i dont want to feel like "just another girl" on his list. Please give me some advice...i feel so sad and dont know what to do.
Geishawhelk Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 Another problem i have, and this is my problem... He has had sex with over 70 women. He has no respect for you whatsoever. he's immature and certainly not ready to stick to one partner. Let him play the field all he wants. but not on your turf. As for the above passage: How old is he? Who told you he'd had sex with "over 70 women"...? Him? And you believe him do you? methinks there's a certain amount of male egotistic bravado. But if it IS the case - he is unsafe and a risk on legs. Really. get rid of him. He's not serious enough to consider even going bowling with!
Author JustBeTrue Posted January 10, 2009 Author Posted January 10, 2009 I am 25 and he is 34. He is a bit of a celebrity and had sex with tons of groupies. To me it is kind of disgusting being that there are so many diseases, but i tried to put it behind me because its something he did in the past. I made him get tested and he is clean, But now i feel like i cant let it go...i really want to feel special, and if he has had sex with sooo many women, how could i really feel special? Is it wrong of me to feel like this? Should i let the past be the past?
norajane Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 His past is the least of your concerns. It's the present that's a problem - he contacts other women behind your back, especially when you get into arguments. It's just a matter of time before he cheats on you and tries to justify it with "she threw herself at me". Dump him and move on. There's nothing to base a solid relationship on here - he doesn't respect you.
GloryDays Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 I truly hope for your sake that you really did make him get tested. Not saying your lying, just the fact that there are way too many diseases out there!!! I think he will cheat again, I am sorry. He already has a pattern of doing so. I don't think people change. Let me rephrase that, some *very few* people CAN change their ways in any situation if they truly want to, but most don't. What he's doing to you is not acceptable. I know it may not be my place to say this, but please do use protection with him. If he does potentially cheat, you don't want to risk yourself. I'd get the heck away from him. I'm so sorry, I'm sure this is not a response you wanted to hear.
D-Lish Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 Would I trust him if I were you? No, never. Complete lack of respect, and so many red flags you should be paying attention to. You have a fight and threaten to leave and he is immediately lining someone else up. What does that say to you? What do most of his behaviours say to you?
Recommended Posts