Men - has a woman ever invited you on a date and then paid for the entire bill?

[The Collector]

Even if it's a first date, if it's my idea, I figure it's only fair. I mean, how do you say to a guy, "Hey, I know a great place for Mexican food. Wanna go? They have great Margaritas too!" and then make THEM pay?

 

I'd find it very easy and simple to pay half. He's there because he wants to be with you, not for the free meal, right?

[Tomcat33]

I'd find it very easy and simple to pay half. He's there because he wants to be with you, not for the free meal, right?

 

 

You are starting to sound like a control freak. If a woman asks you out to her fave mexican place why should you pay half, she wants to treat you and show you HER apreciation for you, why do you have to interject and offer to pay for "half"?

 

That is so lame this "half" business it is unecessary politelness that just makes you look like you are always nickle and diming.

[dreamergrl]

I'd find it very easy and simple to pay half. He's there because he wants to be with you, not for the free meal, right?

 

Anytime I've been asked out and treated to dinner or whatever we were doing, I was never there just for the free meal or whatever.

[Mahatma]

I would be extremely offended to have a girl invite me out to dinner, then expect me to pay.

 

The only scenario I can think of that would be an exception would be if I was trying to get some time in a woman's schedule or something and she came to me like "hey I am free next Sunday, we should go out then." I would still happily pay under this type of circumstance.

[The Collector]

Well that's fresh of you to come on here now 9 pages later after women have repeatedly told you WE HAVE treated men to dates and paid, and say that you only meant the first date.

 

Might as well start another thread then. We all paid for dates that is what you asked here and that is what we responded and now you have to change it around to make some silly point.

 

Believe what you like, I meant first dates. If a guy pays for two or more dates, then you treat him once (or like the 'guys who don't pay' thread, pay for two dates then dare to put a candy bar in with your groceries, much to many women's derision, it's still one-sided. As I said that's better than nothing, but there are plenty of women who seem to be saying they never pay - despite the 'who invites, pays' logic that gets bandied about.

 

Yes women are saying they have paid the entire bill (usually when they are already in a relationship). And I think we've had one man who says it's happened to him.

[The Collector]

Well, sure, but what if I made TONS of money (which I don't) and he doesn't (he makes plenty, but not LOTS) and I decided, without his input, that we would eat at the most expensive place in town and order appetizers, dessert, the whole schmear? Not really fair to make all these decisions and expect him to foot half the bill, don't you think? That's why, if someone decides they want to ask someone else out for a first date somewhere, it's not unheard of, even in today's enlightened society, to expect the person who asks to pay. Just my opinion, Collector. Don't go on a crusade against me now!

 

In such a situation, each paying half, or roughly for what you ordered, would take away the problem of one person ordering a ton of expensive orders at the other's expense. You know, like you probably do with your female or platonic friends.

 

Some men are out to impress by taking out a date to an expensive restaurant. And some women like that, so that's their affair. But mostly people aren't choosing extortionately pricey venues, so most people can afford to pay for their own meal/drinks/cinema tickets, etc. Unless they are cheap.

[The Collector]

And if someone got out the calculator every time we went out together, I would be envisioning a relationship of ALWAYS keeping score, which would NOT be healthy.

 

Do you get out a calculator when you meet friends for a drink, or is rough enough ok? And trust me, whatever they might say to your face, a lot of men ARE keeping score of how much they've 'invested' which to me is not healthy.

[dnm]

Ah if only they were all like you james. Sadly, some of my exe's egos were kind of stuck in the 1950s - but it had nothing to do with who pays what. More about who would have the leading career.

yeah, that is true, it's more often about who earns more and has the better career. The paying part is not that big a problem.

[Tomcat33]

But if my finances allowed me to REALLY treat someone and I was the one to choose the spendy place, order all the extras, I would feel like a complete JACKASS expecting them to pay half.

 

 

Exactly so would I. I don't rely on my good looks and charm to pull a stunt like that you have to have some cheek to invite a guy out and make him pay EVEN for half, that is just cheap.

 

 

And Collector you asked how many women pay on dates when they ask men out why change it now after 9 pages? Besides most women don't ask men out onf a first date so you know the answer to that already. Not sure what you are trying even prove anymore. Other than making yourself sound like the cheapskate we all suspected you are.

[The Collector]

But if my finances allowed me to REALLY treat someone and I was the one to choose the spendy place, order all the extras, I would feel like a complete JACKASS expecting them to pay half.

 

Then maybe that could be the exception rather than the rule. 'Listen, I earn plenty and this place is really expensive so this one's on me.' Fine.

[Adamagnet]

Did it occur to you to be irritated before you read this thread?

 

That's a good question. I'm not sure if I was irritated back then, but I definitely noticed the behavior. It seems like the little things that bug me become more apparent after I've decided to move on.

[The Collector]

 

See, it's not about hard, fast rules. It's about just being able to assess someone's character via their behavior, and there are many nuances that go WAY beyond "halvsies" when you're doing so.

 

I think I've illustrated how it's not about hard and fast rules, getting out a calculator, splitting things down to the last penny or any other ridiculous suggestion that's been raised to counter the very simple argument that women should not expect to be constantly 'treated' whether it's in a relationship, or in the first few dates.

 

Yes I accept that most women, once in a relationship, will try to keep things roughly equal. But many will not and will always expect the man to pay for most things.

 

But how many first dates lead to a relationship? Half? Less than half? It's these situations, where women expect the man to pay for dinner, drinks, cinema tickets, that I am addressing. And specifically in this thread it's the logic of 'who invites pays' and I'm asking men if it's ever happened to them that a woman (who they are not in a relationship already - is it even a 'date' then?) has suggested a date then stuck to such a rule and insisted on paying.

[The Collector]

I have nothing else to offer at this point but the following:

 

http://www.colossiansthreesixteen.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/07/flogger350x450.jpg

 

Genuine LOL!

[Adamagnet]

"...noticed the behavior." See, to me that denotes more than JUST you paying for dinner for a gal. I bet there was more that made you "notice the behavior."

 

I am not sure what you mean. Are you saying that I might have already been primed to be on the hunt for negative traits?

[Tomcat33]

I have nothing else to offer at this point but the following:

 

http://www.colossiansthreesixteen.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/07/flogger350x450.jpg

 

 

:lmao::lmao::lmao: LOVE that pic!!

[BareGoddess]

Man, you ain't kidding, Donna! Oh and...

[The Collector]

One of the more tiresome things about Loveshack is when certain members post just to quote something they agree with (against someone they disagree with) and splurge a bunch of crying with laughter smileys. Not much of a contribution to the debate really.

[Tomcat33]

One of the more tiresome things about Loveshack is when certain members post just to quote something they agree with (against someone they disagree with) and splurge a bunch of crying with laughter smileys. Not much of a contribution to the debate really.

 

 

:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:

[Tomcat33]

What more is there to contribute? You asked women if we pay on dates we said yes, and that is STILL not good enough 9 pages later you change your question and ask if we pay on a first date.

 

The answer is NO because a lot of us don't ask men out on a first date.

 

I don't know what other magic answer you are looking for?

 

In general terms most women still like a man to pay for a first day, and then those same women will reciprocate by inviting those same men out on a date in which they will pay.

[The Collector]

What more is there to contribute? You asked women if we pay on dates

 

 

No I didn't.

[Adamagnet]

Not at all. You may have noted an entitlement attitude in her the entire outing, was what I was thinking. Did you?

 

In hindsight, yes.

[Tomcat33]

No I didn't.

 

Ahh yes you did (ok not specifically women but your question was do women pay on dates):

 

This is an offshoot of the 'men who don't pay' thread. When defending the practice, many women, and some men, trot out the 'whoever does the inviting should pay' logic. Now we all know that 99% of dates involve the man asking the woman, which I have no real problem with. But occasionally a woman might suggest a meet, or ask for a date. So have any of you ever had the experience of a woman asking you for a date and then following the logic of the invitee pays and picking up the entire tab for drinks, dinner etc?

 

Of course it WAS 10 pages ago I can see how you might forget what you actually asked.

[The Collector]

Ahh yes you did

 

Er, no I really didn't. You're welcome to contribute but not to decide whether the thread has run it's course while I'm still collecting data from men. And so far, after 11 pages, I think we've had just the one who was possibly talking about while in a relationship.

[boxing123]

When I read the thread, I was assuming it was a first date. As in "Hi my name is Susy, I think you are cute. Can I take you out." And then Susy proceeds to pick the man up, and treat him to dinner. How often does that happen? .0001% of the time?

 

Once in a relationship, 2 people going out together to grab something to eat really isn't a formal "date" . Most of the time nobody keeps tracks of whom asked whom. I have dated women that paid on about the 15th time we went out, and never forgot they paid. Most men have dated these women. You can go to the grocery store, and you are also expected to buy tons of groceries, feminine products, etc. Dividing things up would make you "cheap"

 

The problem for men occurs when women do not want to pay on a first "date", a fifth "date" or when seeing each other 5 times a week. She does not cook, do his laundry, or clean his home, as that is old fashioned. But men should still pay as that is a good form of "old fashioned".

 

And TRUST ME. Men keeps tabs. How can you not? You work, keep track of your money, and know where it goes. If you are always paying, and it adds up, you notice. It is very apparent women keeps very lose tabs on what they spend, so of course men do as well.

[Tomcat33]

Er, no I really didn't. You're welcome to contribute but not to decide whether the thread has run it's course while I'm still collecting data from men. And so far, after 22 pages, I think we've had just the one who was possibly talking about while in a relationship.

 

Oh I don't feel this thread has ran its course not in the least, but even if I did I would NEVER make that kind of call it's not for me to decide something like that. Sorry you took that the wrong way or I expressed myself the wrong way.

 

It's just funny that you asked one thing at first and then you change it many pages later to further suit your agenda, when you pretty much got most men and women saying that yes women HAVE paid for their dates when they asked. We found that funny. Sorry you didn't get the humour in it.