Men - has a woman ever invited you on a date and then paid for the entire bill?

[Kamille]

I've had girls I was already seeing pick up the bill. It would take a lot more than that to make me feel emasculated.

 

I've paid for whole dates once a relationship was kind of established, usually the third or fourth dates, kind of like a "hey, let me take you out". But sometimes the guys will insist on paying either the whole date or minimally their shares. Should I just insist more on paying the whole thing?

 

I also have had a guy tell me he didn't kiss me after a first date because I had insisted on paying my share. He read it as a lack of interest on my part.

 

See, it's really not cut and dry.

[D-Lish]

I've had girls I was already seeing pick up the bill. It would take a lot more than that to make me feel emasculated.

 

 

Interesting. What would it take I wonder?

 

[The Collector]

Try saying 'I'm paying my share because it's fair, not because I don't like you (smile).' See it's not so hard.

[james123]

I have paid for full dates - but very rarely. Usually, when I do the asking, the guy will offer to pay his half and I will let him if he insists on trusts money at the waiter.

 

Here's why: I'm afraid he will feel emasculated if I insist on paying his part.

 

So here's my follow up question: clearly The Collector and James123 wouldn't feel emasculated if a girl insisted on paying for a whole date. I'm wondering if this is representative of most men on here?

If I were seeing a woman for a while, and she offers to pay , I certainly won't feel emasculated.

Even otherwise, if she offered to pay for both of us, I'd probably still pay, but I'd be pretty impressed anyway considering it's uncommon.

When a woman wants to pay for half, then I don't usually say no.

It's not the 1950's where a man's ego problems would come into play over the stupidest of things.

 

Try saying 'I'm paying my share because it's fair, not because I don't like you (smile).' See it's not so hard.

yep.

[Kamille]

Try saying 'I'm paying my share because it's fair, not because I don't like you (smile).' See it's not so hard.

 

Wouldn't that be a bit presomptuous at the end of a first date, when I'm not even sure whether or not he likes me?

...

Oooh wait, that's because I like for guys to make the first move and let me know they like me before I let them know I like them.

[Kamille]

It's not the 1950's where a man's ego problems would come into play over the stupidest of things.

 

 

Ah if only they were all like you james. Sadly, some of my exe's egos were kind of stuck in the 1950s - but it had nothing to do with who pays what. More about who would have the leading career.

[dreamergrl]

Wouldn't that be a bit presomptuous at the end of a first date, when I'm not even sure whether or not he likes me?

...

Oooh wait, that's because I like for guys to make the first move and let me know they like me before I let them know I like them.

 

I do agree with waiting for the guy to make the first move, I don't think I've ever made the first move on a date.

[james123]

Ah if only they were all like you james. Sadly, some of my exe's egos were kind of stuck in the 1950s - but it had nothing to do with who pays what. More about who would have the leading career.

Yes, there are guys like that. But I can only speak for myself. I've dated several women with high flying careers and if they earn more money, it doesn't matter.

[lino]

In my own experience a girl has never asked me out on a 1st date and then also payed for it.

It did happen to a friend of mine but the girl asking him out and paying wasn't very attractive.

 

I've had women pay for outings but that was after I had payed for the 4 or 5 previous ones.

I don't mind paying for dates, it's just the way this world is.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

It did happen to a friend of mine but the girl asking him out and paying wasn't very attractive.

 

 

:bunny::bunny::bunny:

[mr.dream merchant]

Since I'm over arguing with Women's Rights Advocates let me answer the thread's question:

 

Yes I've been invited on a date and she paid for everything. She paid for dinner and gas and we had amazing sex (5 condoms used) and she called back the next night for some more sex. Not as common as a guy asking a woman out and paying for the entire date but it happens.

[JerseyShortie]

Well I dont generally pay. The few times i've have asked guys out and never worked out. Guys are flattered to be asked out but i dont find that they really want to be asked out to take a girl seriously. I have always offered to pay, sometimes we spit the check. SOmetimes he will let me pick up something like coffee.WHen I date older men compared to younger, I have a higher expectations that the older man pays. So I am more willing to be more equal if it's a guy around my age. But if it is an older guy I do feel like he should be more of the gentlemen and my expectations for him ar naturally higher. I know guys think women are selfish on the paying thing but it's really a matter of wanting to feel important enough to the man that he is happy to invest his resources into you. So many men want easy sex without having to give anything of himself that it's nice when a man does act like he is unselfish. Now-a-days men expect sex without having to give anything of themselves in return and it isn't fair. I don't want to use a man for money and I don't want to be used for sex.

[Frankasy]

I've always paid, with women I've gone out or even family members or future family members. It really feels embarrassing when a woman pays, even if she's related to you or not.

[runner]

it is a bit unusual though, but yes. and i do tend to go for the independent/self-confident/non-traditional type of women, so it isn't awkward to me. i'll take the bill for the second outing if it happens.

[boxing123]

Now-a-days men expect sex without having to give anything of themselves in return and it isn't fair. I don't want to use a man for money and I don't want to be used for sex.

 

Finally, an honest answer. Sex costs money..Now what does that sound like?

[fral945]

Never. I've only ever been asked out by a girl directly once and accepted. And, ironically, I ended up paying the bill. My experience has been that even when a woman is more interested in you than you are in her, she will use hints and innuendo to get you to ask her out. I've had women suggest we meet somewhere, but they always let me do the actual asking.

 

When a woman says:

 

"whoever does the inviting should pay"

 

the translation in man speak is:

"99% of the time you men will have to ask so you will have to pay".

 

But I realize the type of women I prefer are going to be more old-fashioned, so I just accept it and move on.

[Tomcat33]

Yes I've been invited on a date and she paid for everything. She paid for dinner and gas and we had amazing sex (5 condoms used) and she called back the next night for some more sex. Not as common as a guy asking a woman out and paying for the entire date but it happens.

 

 

She sounds perfect how did you let her get away?

[mr.dream merchant]

She sounds perfect how did you let her get away?

 

 

She moved out of state for a while and I met my GF.

[JerseyShortie]

Finally, an honest answer. Sex costs money..Now what does that sound like?

 

That's not anything close to what I said. But thank you for trying to skew my words to best suit your own agenda. Please go back and re-read my post and tell me anywhere in that post that I said to have sex costs money. I didn't.

[Lights]

Now-a-days men expect sex without having to give anything of themselves in return and it isn't fair.

 

What is it that a man should "give of himself" specifically in return for sex that you would consider fair? Also, what of the opposite? What would you "give of yourself" to a man in return for his sexual availability?

[lino]

:bunny::bunny::bunny:

 

?? I don't understand...

 

What is it that a man should "give of himself" specifically in return for sex that you would consider fair? Also, what of the opposite? What would you "give of yourself" to a man in return for his sexual availability?

 

 

good question Lights! I can't wait to see the answer

[Kamille]

I know guys think women are selfish on the paying thing but it's really a matter of wanting to feel important enough to the man that he is happy to invest his resources into you. So many men want easy sex without having to give anything of himself that it's nice when a man does act like he is unselfish. Now-a-days men expect sex without having to give anything of themselves in return and it isn't fair. I don't want to use a man for money and I don't want to be used for sex.

 

JS, with all due respect, I'm sorry that this is how your perceive men. It doesn't corroborate my perception. Sure there are men out there who want casual sex no strings (or lunch) attached, but they are fairly easy to spot and weed out if that isn't your bag... They usually aren't interested in my passions or have that inauthentic player quality to them (where you know their priority is getting you into bed). Not to mention, they usually won't call back if you make it clear you don't sleep with guys casually. So, in a way, paying or not paying has very little to do with it.

 

 

What is it that a man should "give of himself" specifically in return for sex that you would consider fair? Also, what of the opposite? What would you "give of yourself" to a man in return for his sexual availability?

 

 

What I consider a fair exchange is the willingness to open up to each other and build a trusting relationship together. So I like it when a man is genuine, honest, grounded, and respectful. I would hope he would want the same things from me.

 

The way I see it, "paying" for the date has a lot more to do with the initial seduction game. If a guy pays for the date, it signals he has romantic/or-sexual interest in me. But once we've moved past the first kiss and the first few dates, I've always split the bill (unless my date was asking me out to a restaurant I couldn't afford, in which case usually they pick up the tab).

[The Collector]

I'm not a man, but I have paid for an entire date on several occasions when I've invited a man out.

 

Was this a first date, or after he had already paid for a couple of dates?

 

I should have specified that returning the favour after a few dates of him paying isn't really what I'm getting at, though that's certainly better than nothing.

[Adamagnet]

I have never had a woman pay for a date she invited me out on unless we were already an item and those instances were generally special occasions.

 

Not to long ago, I got an invite to a free art event and shortly after arriving the idea of food came up. It was a double date and all four of us agreed that we should grab some grub. Both the other guy and I ended up footing the bill. Should I have been irritated?

[Tomcat33]

Was this a first date, or after he had already paid for a couple of dates?

 

I should have specified that returning the favour after a few dates of him paying isn't really what I'm getting at, though that's certainly better than nothing.

 

 

Well that's fresh of you to come on here now 9 pages later after women have repeatedly told you WE HAVE treated men to dates and paid, and say that you only meant the first date.

 

Might as well start another thread then. We all paid for dates that is what you asked here and that is what we responded and now you have to change it around to make some silly point.