Men - has a woman ever invited you on a date and then paid for the entire bill?

[Lights]

How do you plan to get a girl at all with that attitude? Is this how you would treat her, should she share a view that you don't agree with?

 

It's not about whether I disagree with someone. It's whether they are hypocritical about what they claim, as they conveniently preach equality except when it's no longer to their benefit.

 

How strange it is that when I start holding people out where I come from to the same standards to which they hold me, they all disappear.

 

Want I would like to know, is for those of you who are complaining about women not paying, do you mind doing the less traditional male stuff (example: cooking dinner, helping clean up, ect ect)? Or do you expect the woman to be modern when it suits you best?

 

Sure, I cook and clean. Such things have to be done whether or not one is in a relationship or not.

 

I don't believe in pre-modern concepts of "women's work".

[boxing123]

LOL

 

The thread is asking if this ever happened to a man. A woman asks you out on a first date, and happily pays. This happens so rarely that it is not even worth mentioning.

[dreamergrl]

It's not about whether I disagree with someone. It's whether they are hypocritical about what they claim, as they conveniently preach equality except when it's no longer to their benefit.

 

Again, plenty of men don't mind this, as plenty of women don't mind the modern roles.

 

 

 

Sure, I cook and clean. Such things have to be done whether or not one is in a relationship or not.

 

I don't believe in pre-modern concepts of "women's work".

 

So look for a woman who shares your views on this, and stop putting down those who don't.

[Tomcat33]

I'm sure your content with catching a fist with your face from time to time when your husband executes some of that good ol' traditional value right? .

 

 

I am amazed at how completely out to lunch you are in terms what you preceived to be traditional. The idea that you think the only thing that differentiates a traditional male from the modern one is the amount of violence a man dishes out VS the amount of crap a woman is willing to take on just proves how incredibly closed minded you are. Not to mention you keep showing time and time again your extreme anger issues against women.

 

Remind me again what could a woman POSSIBLY gain from getting invovled with man that thinks like you?

[Lights]

Again, plenty of men don't mind this, as plenty of women don't mind the modern roles.

Really? Funny how not one woman in my life so far has walked right up to me and asked me out on a date. I am merely saying that where I come from, they're not as comfortable with such a simple modern role as you'd expect.

 

So look for a woman who shares your views on this, and stop putting down those who don't.

 

Uhm, no. The issue isn't whether they share my views. It's whether they act consistently with what they dare to preach and uphold all standards they dare to expect. If they fail in the latter, I'm putting them down, end of story.

[carhill]

Women have asked me out and paid and I do cook and clean, both as a single and married man.

 

IMO, a gentleman does not disrespect a lady's generosity but I generally will insist on tipping the waitstaff and/or buying an after-dinner drink or two. Sometimes that got pushed back and sometimes it was accepted.

 

I've found female friends to be more consistent and generous in such matters but I would surmise that was reflective of our friendship more than protocol.

 

Personally, nothing gives me more pleasure than cooking a special family or personal recipe for a woman who's interesting or important to me. I don't charge admission

[dreamergrl]

Really? Funny how not one woman in my life so far has walked right up to me and asked me out on a date. They're not as comfortable with such a simple modern role as you'd think.

 

I don't think it has to do with they aren't out there, I think it has to do with your attitude.

 

 

 

Uhm, no. The issue isn't whether they share my views. It's whether they act consistently with what they dare to preach and uphold all standards they dare to expect. If they fail in the latter, I'm putting them down, end of story.

So every time you don't act consistently with what you preach, you should get put down? Things happen, as it was mentioned, there are variables. When you can look in the mirror and call yourself and how you want things perfect, then come back and ramble on about this.

[dreamergrl]

 

Remind me again what could a woman POSSIBLY gain from getting invovled with man that thinks like you?

 

I head ache, from banging her head in to the wall in order to stop hearing such nonsense.

[Lights]

I don't think it has to do with they aren't out there, I think it has to do with your attitude.

I wouldn't doubt they're out there, just that they aren't here in my area. That is the set of people I was describing, slamming, etc.

 

What attitude do you refer to? What attitude would get a basic "Hi. My name's Ingrid. I'd like to get to know you better." occurring on a regular basis, comparably often as I attempt the same? (If necessary, this can go to private-messaging to avoid hijacking the thread; the thread's more about paying for dates rather than "how to get asked out".)

 

So every time you don't act consistently with what you preach, you should get put down?

Pretty much. Does anyone tolerate hypocrisy coming from me? Didn't think so. Thus I don't plan on tolerating it from anyone else.

[boxing123]

It makes no difference where you live. The most a woman will do is flirt with you. She might come say hi. Then the man asks her out, and the man pays.

 

Why can't women even admit this is the way it works?

[Tomcat33]

What attitude would get a basic "Hi. My name's Ingrid. I'd like to get to know you better." occurring on a regular basis, comparably often as I attempt the same? (If necessary, this can go to private-messaging to avoid hijacking the thread; the thread's more about paying for dates rather than "how to get asked out".)

 

 

 

 

Excuse me but what's wrong with Lights going up to Ingrid and saying "Hi my name is Lights and I would like to get to know you better?" That has been used for CENTURIES in mating and it works rather well?

 

I really don't see why you don't make that work for you? It's a tried and tested act that WORKS. It may not work on first hit but the more you do it the more it works.

 

What's the problem here cowboy?

 

Just because we don't make the FIRST move it doesn't mean we won't pay for a date down the line which was the purpose of this thread, to determine how many women actually reciprocate. Besides you are the one who went on a rant about why women won't approach you so why are you trying to cop out of the conversation now?

[boxing123]

Tomcat, have you missed the point of the entire thread?

 

1. On message boards, women claim they ask men out for dates, and pay.

 

2. The op asked if this ever happened to men.

 

3. I think we can all admit this is extremely rare, and not even worth mentioning.

 

4. So why do women always say they ask men out and pay, when the topic of whom pays for a date arises.

 

The end.

[dreamergrl]

It makes no difference where you live. The most a woman will do is flirt with you. She might come say hi. Then the man asks her out, and the man pays.

 

Why can't women even admit this is the way it works?

 

I wont admit it because it's not how I am.

 

Some women are shy.

Some women like to be courted.

Some women don't mind paying.

Some women rather the man stay home.

Some women love to be a stay at home mom.

And yes, there are some women who go after men for money, but that does not mean it's how they all are.

 

If you continue to have this attitude, you'll forever be alone, because there's no room for it in a healthy relationship. Get yourself, try to get your head to stop swelling, and just accept that everyone is different.

[Lights]

Excuse me but what's wrong with Lights going up to Ingrid and saying "Hi my name is Lights and I would like to get to know you better?"

I don't remember saying anything is "wrong" with it. It isn't in the scope of this thread, though. This thread is about men being asked on dates. Please try to avoid hijacking the thread in future.

 

What's the problem here cowboy?

Actually, my area isn't rural. Or is "cowboy" some local slang from your area?

[dreamergrl]

I don't remember saying anything is "wrong" with it. It isn't in the scope of this thread, though. This thread is about men being asked on dates. Please try to avoid hijacking the thread in future.

 

It wasn't hijacking, she was stating that there was nothing wrong with with the man asking the girl out, instead of whining that the man isn't getting asked out because the man doesn't live in a modern enough area, but really the man is just making snide bitter remarks.

[dreamergrl]

Have any of you men that complain you don't get asked out by girls given thought that it as to do with the way you act or present yourself? I know I at times give off the unapproachable impression to people. Maybe you're doing it as well.

 

If the look on your face resembles what you must be looking like while displaying your bitterness here, it's no wonder why women aren't going "Hi Light, I'd like to get to know you better."

[Lights]

It wasn't hijacking, she was stating that there was nothing wrong with with the man asking the girl out, instead of whining that the man isn't getting asked out because the man doesn't live in a modern enough area, but really the man is just making snide bitter remarks.

 

Actually, you and she might want to read my posts more carefully. I do plenty of approaching and asking out, and stated such in earlier posts.

 

I'm just curious that you said the failure on the part of the women here to walk right up and ask me out equally often was the result of specific attitudes. So I asked you what attitude would get women to walk up and ask me out on dates with equal frequency.

 

The rest of her post was irrelevant.

[dreamergrl]

Actually, you and she might want to read my posts more carefully. I do plenty of approaching and asking out, and stated such in earlier posts.

 

I'm just curious that you said the failure on the part of the women here to walk right up and ask me out equally often was the result of specific attitudes. So I asked you what attitude would get women to walk up and ask me out on dates with equal frequency.

 

The rest of her post was irrelevant.

 

I have no issue with paying or splitting the bill, and I still wouldn't want to approach you, because while I don't mind, I also don't condemn people for their views or preferences.

[Lights]

Have any of you men that complain you don't get asked out by girls given thought that it as to do with the way you act or present yourself? I know I at times give off the unapproachable impression to people. Maybe you're doing it as well.

 

Well, there's a nonzero probability of this being the case. But personally I haven't a clue how to tell if it is. (How did you know/find out about your own unapproachable impression?)

 

If the look on your face resembles what you must be looking like while displaying your bitterness here, it's no wonder why women aren't going "Hi Light, I'd like to get to know you better."

 

Actually, the less I think about this and my social area in general, the less focused on bitter stuff I am. Would you mind if I send you a private message? I don't want to clutter up this thread with tangential stuff.

[Tomcat33]

Actually, my area isn't rural. Or is "cowboy" some local slang from your area?

 

 

It's a term of endearment like saying "what's the big deal tiger?" or "big boy" I dont REALLY think you are a "tiger"!

 

When you call someone a "cowboy" you are calling them a big tough guy, you know cowboys are wild and urully.

[Tomcat33]

Tomcat, have you missed the point of the entire thread?

 

1. On message boards, women claim they ask men out for dates, and pay.

 

2. The op asked if this ever happened to men.

 

3. I think we can all admit this is extremely rare, and not even worth mentioning.

 

4. So why do women always say they ask men out and pay, when the topic of whom pays for a date arises.

 

The end.

 

Nahh I didn't miss any point I understood pefectly what the OP was asking and the answer is still YES I have paid for dates when it was me asking. I have NEVER asked a man out on a first date, but I do ask a man out on a date once we are seeing each other and do pay.

[dreamergrl]

Well, there's a nonzero probability of this being the case. But personally I haven't a clue how to tell if it is. (How did you know/find out about your own unapproachable impression?)

 

I can be a very shy girl, and I also have an anxiety disorder. I never realized how much it showed on my face until I started hearing comments about it. After dating more and more, if it was someone I met in real life opposed to online dating, they would tell me that they weren't sure if I'd say yes, because I looked unhappy. I've also had men tell me that they had wanted to kiss me, but my body language was rather confusing. It would say one thing at one point, but then if I closed up or got anxious, it would say the complete opposite. Now I'm more conscious of it.

 

I think looking unapproachable as a HUGE impact on whether or not a man OR woman gets asked out.

[Kamille]

I have paid for full dates - but very rarely. Usually, when I do the asking, the guy will offer to pay his half and I will let him if he insists on trusts money at the waiter.

 

Here's why: I'm afraid he will feel emasculated if I insist on paying his part.

 

So here's my follow up question: clearly The Collector and James123 wouldn't feel emasculated if a girl insisted on paying for a whole date. I'm wondering if this is representative of most men on here?

[D-Lish]

Actually, you and she might want to read my posts more carefully. I do plenty of approaching and asking out, and stated such in earlier posts.

 

I'm just curious that you said the failure on the part of the women here to walk right up and ask me out equally often was the result of specific attitudes. So I asked you what attitude would get women to walk up and ask me out on dates with equal frequency.

 

The rest of her post was irrelevant.

 

See, I like that. I guess I don't ask men out much because I am just as afraid of being rejected as the next person (male or female). I guess you're right- it probably isn't fair to expect that the men must be the one to pursue.

 

I guess I do like a man to ask me out in the initial stages.

 

 

When it comes to paying on a date. I don't think much about it. I also dont' have expectations about it. I like to pay my share and have it reciprocated. I'd feel weird if I always let a man pay for me.

 

I've paid for an entire evening quite often with someone I have been seeing.

[The Collector]

So here's my follow up question: clearly The Collector and James123 wouldn't feel emasculated if a girl insisted on paying for a whole date. I'm wondering if this is representative of most men on here?

 

I've had girls I was already seeing pick up the bill. It would take a lot more than that to make me feel emasculated.