Men - has a woman ever invited you on a date and then paid for the entire bill?

January 10, 2009

I'm hearing some women do, or intend to but get overpowered into not, or possibly might around the third date. I've yet to hear from any man who can confirm it's happened to them.

Overpowered? Please.

Some men - they do exist! - really do prefer to pay. It makes them feel good, like they're a provider or a gentleman or something. For example, just the other night I went on a date with my new guy (date 9 or so?). Earlier I had expressed that I wanted to pick up the tab. Well, he gave the waiter his card on the way back from the restroom. I never even had a chance to pay. I also bought the movie tickets later that night, and the next morning found a $20 shoved in my purse. He actually enjoys treating me. He's also asked for each and every date.

January 10, 2009

brazilian!

That alone warrants him picking up the check!

January 10, 2009

Overpowered? Please.

Some men - they do exist! - really do prefer to pay. It makes them feel good, like they're a provider or a gentleman or something. For example, just the other night I went on a date with my new guy (date 9 or so?). Earlier I had expressed that I wanted to pick up the tab. Well, he gave the waiter his card on the way back from the restroom. I never even had a chance to pay. I also bought the movie tickets later that night, and the next morning found a $20 shoved in my purse. He actually enjoys treating me. He's also asked for each and every date.

I know there are many men who like to pay. And there are many men who worry that if they don't pay they won't get another date. That's not what this thread is about. What I would like to do, once and for all (ha, as if), is take away the 'who invites, pays' argument from the debate. It constantly comes up when discussing this issue, like it's a holy commandment of etiquette, but the truth seems to be that on the rare occasion a woman suggests a date, it's not actually so sacred a rule as they would like men to believe.

sb129 doesn't find it hard to insist on paying her way. You could always slip $20 into his pocket, or corner the waiter yourself if you really wanted to, so there's no need to act like you had no choice. You are the one putting forward reasons why you couldn't pay even though you wanted to, and that's not very believable. We all know women can stand up for themselves if they choose. You just don't want to pay.

January 10, 2009

Yup I have paid for full dates when it was my turn to ask. OF COURSE!

This is usually after we have been dating though not on a first date.

January 10, 2009

If you guys want total equality, I insist you dress in a skirt, stilettos, full makeup AND get a brazilian!

Hummm... Let me savor the mental picture of TBF in her power skirt/stilletos. Nice. You make it sound like torture, but dressing you makes you feel a whole lot better about yourself, I.e. feel sexy.

Returning to the OP, yes, I've had women ask me out and pay for the whole thing. We had met maybe a month prior in grad school; I wasn't making a move, and I'm not gun shy making moves, so she knew she had to do something. She didn't put out, so there was no second date.

January 10, 2009

That's very kind, although I don't eat meat and my 'date' has been rescheduled for tomorrow night. How long are you in London for? I insist on paying half though, as it's only fair (see how easy it is Star Gazer?)

Yeah I see how it is. Two friends meeting up for drinks on a sat night. If you are lucky you might even get laid, and if Taramere is lucky you won't dissapear in the morning and diss her once you see her online again.

(Not insinuating you would put out tonight Tara, just making a point )

January 10, 2009

You just don't want to pay.

I'm not going to put myself out (chase down the waiter) to court a man. I'm not going to be the one courting to begin with.

January 10, 2009

Star gazer, from your previous threads it seems courting you only takes decent looks and a couple two ply condoms. I wouldn't toss you dough for the cab. Walk home.

January 10, 2009

You're very wrong about that, Mr. Merchant.

January 10, 2009

This is an offshoot of the 'men who don't pay' thread. When defending the practice, many women, and some men, trot out the 'whoever does the inviting should pay' logic. Now we all know that 99% of dates involve the man asking the woman, which I have no real problem with. But occasionally a woman might suggest a meet, or ask for a date. So have any of you ever had the experience of a woman asking you for a date and then following the logic of the invitee pays and picking up the entire tab for drinks, dinner etc?

I am a lady and every time I went to a date , a guy paid though I was often offering my money ,as an independent lady.

I like when a guy acts like a gentleman . Actually I need not his money ,and am sure that no lady is so poor that she would not be able to pay ,but a man has to be a gentleman and to pay .

Well,everything happens,but anyway its a man`s scene to play . On dates.

But a lady ,if she feels like to do something as well,she may present gifts to her man ,so it will be equal.

January 10, 2009

Yeah I see how it is. Two friends meeting up for drinks on a sat night. If you are lucky you might even get laid, and if Taramere is lucky you won't dissapear in the morning and diss her once you see her online again.

(Not insinuating you would put out tonight Tara, just making a point )

All going well, I should be back online in a couple of days' time. If I end up meeting The Collector and he wham bam thank you ma'ams me, then naturally it'll take a while for me to heal my wounds and venture back onto Loveshack. I'm an INFP and sensitive about these things.

If I'm not back online by, say, Monday then it can only mean that I've had my purse emptied and my soul shattered. In that event, I'd really appreciate it if some of the ladies here could club together and beat the cybercrap out of that quorn-muncher.

You're in charge, Tomcat. I'm counting on you.

January 10, 2009

Overpowered? Please.

Some men - they do exist! - really do prefer to pay. It makes them feel good, like they're a provider or a gentleman or something. For example, just the other night I went on a date with my new guy (date 9 or so?). Earlier I had expressed that I wanted to pick up the tab. Well, he gave the waiter his card on the way back from the restroom. I never even had a chance to pay. I also bought the movie tickets later that night, and the next morning found a $20 shoved in my purse. He actually enjoys treating me. He's also asked for each and every date.

That's cute, but not all of us have the luxury of being pursued that strongly, you know? I'd be okay with asking out a guy/paying after a couple of successful dates.

January 10, 2009

All going well, I should be back online in a couple of days' time. If I end up meeting The Collector and he wham bam thank you ma'ams me, then naturally it'll take a while for me to heal my wounds and venture back onto Loveshack. I'm an INFP and sensitive about these things.

If I'm not back online by, say, Monday then it can only mean that I've had my purse emptied and my soul shattered. In that event, I'd really appreciate it if some of the ladies here could club together and beat the cybercrap out of that quorn-muncher.

You're in charge, Tomcat. I'm counting on you.

Here's a thought: don't meet him at all. I kind of wanted to have the weekend off and didn't want to be in charge of anything for two days.

Surely he hasn't sweapt you off your feet already and without even meeting you has he? I'll never understand these entangled online love hookups that never get past the "you've got mail" phase.

Oh what a strange world we live in...

January 10, 2009

I also bought the movie tickets later that night, and the next morning found a $20 shoved in my purse. .

I personally would find that really condescending - "Let's treat the poor little woman" (and I am not talking poor in financial terms).

January 10, 2009

I've been asked out, and not had to pay. I've been asked out, and paid my half. I've been asked out, and paid for the date. I've been treated and I've treated. Everyone is different, what's the big deal?

January 10, 2009

That's cute, but not all of us have the luxury of being pursued that strongly, you know? I'd be okay with asking out a guy/paying after a couple of successful dates.

I know, and usually I don't have that luxury either - trust me! I'd also be okay - I AM okay - with asking/paying after a few dates as well. But in the first few, I realize it's really in the best interests of both to allow the guy to do the courting.

I personally would find that really condescending - "Let's treat the poor little woman" (and I am not talking poor in financial terms).

Normally, I would too. But this guy's just... different.

January 10, 2009

Here's a thought: don't meet him at all.

Here's a thought - don't be a cock-blocker.

Seriously, it is possible that two people of different genders might have forged a little friendship via PMs and might want to meet up to say hello. I have lots of female platonic friends.

Then again, if she forces herself on me, who am I to deny a babe a good time...

January 10, 2009

Here's a thought - don't be a cock-blocker.

Seriously, it is possible that two people of different genders might have forged a little friendship via PMs and might want to meet up to say hello. I have lots of female platonic friends.

Then again, if she forces herself on me, who am I to deny a babe a good time...

Lighten up Austin Powers, it was just a joke. You are both adults and know what you are doing.

My words don't have that kind of power.

January 10, 2009

So have any of you ever had the experience of a woman asking you for a date and then following the logic of the invitee pays and picking up the entire tab for drinks, dinner etc?

no, not really. don't think i've ever gone out with a woman who asked me out first. just wouldn't be right

January 10, 2009

Lighten up Austin Powers, it was just a joke

I know, so was mine. I could have used a smiley but I hate them.

January 11, 2009

Men - has a woman ever invited you on a date and then paid for the entire bill?

Never happened. Never once has a woman asked me to a date. Hell, never even once has a woman even struck up a conversation with me with the intention of socializing.

But then again, I live in a backward culture where the women are wretched, cowardly Neanderthals, ridiculously completely incapable of something as dirt-simple as walking right up and saying "Excuse me a minute. My name's Jen. I noticed you there and was wondering if you'd like to get to know each other over some coffee?" even in these modern times.

Maybe the situation will be different if I move to somewhere more modern.

January 11, 2009

Never happened. Never once has a woman asked me to a date. Hell, never even once has a woman even struck up a conversation with me with the intention of socializing.

But then again, I live in a backward culture where the women are wretched, cowardly Neanderthals, ridiculously completely incapable of something as dirt-simple as walking right up and saying "Excuse me a minute. My name's Jen. I noticed you there and was wondering if you'd like to get to know each other over some coffee?" even in these modern times.

Maybe the situation will be different if I move to somewhere more modern.

Maybe the situation would be different if you grew up

January 11, 2009

Never happened. Never once has a woman asked me to a date. Hell, never even once has a woman even struck up a conversation with me with the intention of socializing.

But then again, I live in a backward culture where the women are wretched, cowardly Neanderthals, ridiculously completely incapable of something as dirt-simple as walking right up and saying "Excuse me a minute. My name's Jen. I noticed you there and was wondering if you'd like to get to know each other over some coffee?" even in these modern times.

Maybe the situation will be different if I move to somewhere more modern.

Wow, with that sort of attitude I dont blame them for not approaching you. Maybe if you were a litle less judgemental and angry they might

January 11, 2009

Never happened. Never once has a woman asked me to a date. Hell, never even once has a woman even struck up a conversation with me with the intention of socializing.

But then again, I live in a backward culture where the women are wretched, cowardly Neanderthals, ridiculously completely incapable of something as dirt-simple as walking right up and saying "Excuse me a minute. My name's Jen. I noticed you there and was wondering if you'd like to get to know each other over some coffee?" even in these modern times.

Maybe the situation will be different if I move to somewhere more modern.

I don't think it's that your in a backward culture, I think you have your attitude backwards.. I'm not picturing the women as neanderthals in your situation....

January 11, 2009

I don't think it's that your in a backward culture, I think you have your attitude backwards.. I'm not picturing the women as neanderthals in your situation....

In these modern times, pre-modern gender roles no longer apply in dating, so I hold the women to the same standards to which they hold me, given how gender equality is considered normative. The women don't care much for any cowardice or ineptitude in approaching on my part, so I don't tolerate such on their part either. If they are unable and/or afraid do something as dirt-simple as the approach I described, that's pure and total ineptitude and/or cowardice according to the standards to which they hold me; that approach is something that I have myself attempted more times than I can count.

What's so backward about my attitude then? If I may say so myself it sounds quite progressive and modern-age to me.

Wow, with that sort of attitude I dont blame them for not approaching you. Maybe if you were a litle less judgemental and angry they might

How so? Isn't the process of choosing to date (or not date) any given person very much a not-very-merciful and quite-judgemental process?

Sign In

Men - has a woman ever invited you on a date and then paid for the entire bill?

Recommended Posts

Star Gazer

Star Gazer

The Collector

Tomcat33

RichGuy

Tomcat33

Star Gazer

mr.dream merchant

Star Gazer

Adri Ana

Taramere

Isolde

Tomcat33

anne1707

dreamergrl

Star Gazer

The Collector

Tomcat33

alphamale

The Collector

Lights

anne1707

wuggle

dreamergrl

Lights

What's New

My Activity Streams

More...