Men - has a woman ever invited you on a date and then paid for the entire bill?

[The Collector]

This is an offshoot of the 'men who don't pay' thread. When defending the practice, many women, and some men, trot out the 'whoever does the inviting should pay' logic. Now we all know that 99% of dates involve the man asking the woman, which I have no real problem with. But occasionally a woman might suggest a meet, or ask for a date. So have any of you ever had the experience of a woman asking you for a date and then following the logic of the invitee pays and picking up the entire tab for drinks, dinner etc?

[Star Gazer]

I'm not a man, but I've done it. If I ask a man for a date or meet with romantic intention, I pay. Or I should say, I at least try really hard to pay. Most men still won't let me.

 

The only time I don't pay for them is after asking/suggesting is when with platonic friends of either gender.

[sb129]

I've done it. Many times.

[james123]

I was asked out by women a couple of times, but I paid both times.

[You'reasian]

Nowadays, I prefer to pay or atleast take turns (if we are in a relationship) but if the woman insists and is well off, I would be okay with it.

[Trialbyfire]

The closest I've ever come to asking a guy out, is to have friends invite him to a party. He turned that around, got my number from friends, then called to ask me out for a date.

 

I'm neither for or against the "whoever does the inviting pays", although I do expect that the man pay for the first date. There are reasons why but I'm not going to try to justify my position. It is what it is.

[Star Gazer]

When dating (i.e., NOT in a relationship) the host/inviter should pay for his/her guest/invitee.

 

As I said in the other thread, a dinner party host certainly would never expect a guest to chip in for the grocery bill. In addition, while it's good manners to bring a bottle of wine or the like to a dinner party, the host still should not expect a guest do anything other than show up and graciously attend the party. The same principle applies here.

[The Collector]

When dating (i.e., NOT in a relationship) the host/inviter should pay for his/her guest/invitee.

 

Unless you the woman invite the man in which case he 'insists' and you are just a weak little woman unable to stand up for this oh-so-important logic?

[james123]

Unless you the woman invite the man in which case he 'insists' and you are just a weak little woman unable to stand up for this oh-so-important logic?

true. I'm sure no woman ever insists on paying for both herself and her date when the man asks her out. but vice versa it's apparently ok.

[Trialbyfire]

true. I'm sure no woman ever insists on paying for both herself and her date when the man asks her out. but vice versa it's apparently ok.

That's not true. Date #2 and on, I tend to alternate paying, even though it's always the man asking for the next date.

[Star Gazer]

Unless you the woman invite the man in which case he 'insists' and you are just a weak little woman unable to stand up for this oh-so-important logic?

 

I'm far from a weak little woman unable to stand up for herself or any piece of logic.

 

Men prefer to court a woman. If he insists on paying, I'm certainly not going to deny a man who I'm interested in of his desire to court me if he chooses.

[Taramere]

This is an offshoot of the 'men who don't pay' thread. When defending the practice, many women, and some men, trot out the 'whoever does the inviting should pay' logic. Now we all know that 99% of dates involve the man asking the woman, which I have no real problem with. But occasionally a woman might suggest a meet, or ask for a date. So have any of you ever had the experience of a woman asking you for a date and then following the logic of the invitee pays and picking up the entire tab for drinks, dinner etc?

 

I'm in London tomorrow evening. I know you're broke, so I'll treat you to a Big Mac, sweetie. No strings.

[2sure]

I I had been taken out by a guy a twice and had not yet picked up a bill, I would insist (and have). "Please let me get this, I wont be happy unless I can."

 

Also, although Ive had plenty of free dates/meals/entertainment when I was basically serial dating....if I KNEW I wasnt going to want a second date...I made sure we split it. Unless of course he was a jerk something.

[sb129]

Unless you the woman invite the man in which case he 'insists' and you are just a weak little woman unable to stand up for this oh-so-important logic?

 

I don't think its that complex.

[james123]

I don't think its that complex.

so basically hypocrisy is fine in this regard? nice.

[Star Gazer]

so basically hypocrisy is fine in this regard? nice.

 

Where's the hypocrisy? Are you not reading how ALL the women in this thread pick up the tab when they do the inviting???

 

You ask for the date, you pay. Gender neutral.

[The Collector]

I'm in London tomorrow evening. I know you're broke, so I'll treat you to a Big Mac, sweetie. No strings.

 

That's very kind, although I don't eat meat and my 'date' has been rescheduled for tomorrow night. How long are you in London for? I insist on paying half though, as it's only fair (see how easy it is Star Gazer?)

[sb129]

No, I am not.

 

You paid on two dates that you had been invited on by the woman. Did she offer to pay? If she did offer, but you insisted on paying, then you are the hypocrite, not her.

[sb129]

I recall several dates I have been on where I chose the location etc, and paid the entire bill.

So no hypocrisy here whatsoever. I have often dated people where I made more money than they did, so it stood to reason that I would pay my own way and sometimes pay theirs too.

 

It doesn't apply now, seeing as my H and I have joint finances.

[Trialbyfire]

If you guys want total equality, I insist you dress in a skirt, stilettos, full makeup AND get a brazilian!

[Taramere]

That's very kind, although I don't eat meat and my 'date' has been rescheduled for tomorrow night. How long are you in London for? I insist on paying half though, as it's only fair (see how easy it is Star Gazer?)

 

One night only, I'm afraid. Don't you worry...I'll send on a doggie bag from my next destination, and I'll make sure the contents are strictly vegetarian.

[The Collector]

Where's the hypocrisy? Are you not reading how ALL the women in this thread pick up the tab when they do the inviting???

 

I'm hearing some women do, or intend to but get overpowered into not, or possibly might around the third date. I've yet to hear from any man who can confirm it's happened to them.

[james123]

Where's the hypocrisy? Are you not reading how ALL the women in this thread pick up the tab when they do the inviting???

 

You ask for the date, you pay. Gender neutral.

you said you let the men pay and they usually insist.

You forget about your dinner party logic then.

I doubt many woman even offer to pay half, let alone 'insist' to pay for herself and the man, when she gets asked out.

Now you'll say something about tradition or whatever. yeah, sure.

[sb129]

I'm hearing some women do, or intend to but get overpowered into not, or possibly might around the third date. I've yet to hear from any man who can confirm it's happened to them.

 

None of those women are posting here on this thread yet though. I guess when you hear from just one who has, that will prove your theory.

 

I have never been on a date where I have intended to pay and have then been "overpowered" into not paying.

 

I am strong enough to "insist" on paying, esp if I was the one doing the inviting.

[The Collector]

None of those women are posting here on this thread yet though. I guess when you hear from just one who has, that will prove your theory.

 

I have never been on a date where I have intended to pay and have then been "overpowered" into not paying.

 

I am strong enough to "insist" on paying, esp if I was the one doing the inviting.

 

Then I think you're cool. I know there are plenty of women who pay their share, as I have dated them. But does your desire to pay come from a strict adherence to the 'who invites, pays' logic, or is it some other reason?