Ezekiel1337 Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 I've said for a while now that this new girl might be head over heals for me, not to be arrogant, but i AM very analytical... and i said that she was just waiting for me to break up with my LONG time GF. Well, i had been trying to fix things with my ex, and i think now that my ex knows that i have someone who is able care for me just like she did... she is having second thoughts. But it doesnt matter now... i just completley F*ed myself. There is no turning back from where im at right now. Last night, this new girl (if anyone doesnt know this story, she is actually been my friend for 9 years, she was my first girlfriend ever, and i was hers) invited me out to the bar, i paid for her drinks and some rounds of pool etc etc. We WERE gunu go to the beach and just watch the starts, but it was cloudy out that night. She invited me over to her house WAY out in the middle of nowhere. Right from the begininning of the movie, she was already in my arms. And within an hours time we were already having passionate sex. She is insane about me. I mean, literally exactly what i thought. Head over heals. We definately talked before we had sex, we asked each other if that was what we really wanted. I was fine with just her company. To tell you the truth, sex was a plus... just being with her was great. Well, after 5 hours of great sex and about another 3 hours of just lying with eachother falling in and out of sleep... i can see what has happened. Afterwards she is now shes holding my hand and sh*t while im driving us to get breakfast the next morning. We even kiss when i drop her off after breakfast so i can go back home. I can't break this girls heart, she hasn't done anything to me. Matter of fact, she wants to appreciate me. As much as i want my ex back... this is way to much of a no brainer. Plus this girl hasnt lied to me, there is trust there. It's going to hurt in 2 weeks when i find out my ex wants to get back together and I dont. But she did this to us.... she left ME!!!! I was so happy when i fell asleep again this morning, but now... im depressed... because i dont want to break either of their hearts. Not even my ex's, despite what she's done to me. I dont want her to hurt like i did. But i have no choice, id rather it be her than this innocent new girl who hasnt done anything to deserve heart break.... and as a matter of fact has been waiting a long time for her shot with me. But what if im incapable of a healthy relationship because of how soon my last break up is. It's like all of whats going on is on fast forward. I didnt expect this to happen until months later. This is all happening so fast. I want to appreciate her, and care about her. Not just use her to get over my ex. She's not an object, but i feel like there is something in my that is starting to feel for her, not even approaching what she feels for me... but i think it can get there.
Geishawhelk Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 First of all, you need to keep to one thread, because platering the forum with different threads essentially baout the same topic, is not doing you nay favours. it's coinfusing. On top of that, you really need to break up your posts into maangeable, legible chunks. Reading one big solid paragraph is hard on the eyes. So trey to paragraph and leave gaps, ok? Ok, now, with that out the way, take your head out of your botty-hole and stop being anxious and stressing over your ex. Cut her out of your life. She's EX. You can't make it any plainer. Leave her be, don't focus on her, don't give her breathing space and MOVE ON! You can't fix her, and be what she commands. You have to stand up and walk your life without her having any say in the matter. She no longer figures, and hauling her around like a mill-stone is really unfair to your new GF. Either feed your fixation with your ex, save yourself for her (including being jerked around, constant heartbreak, cheating, treating you like dirt, and everything else being her puppy-dog entails) - OR: Do as I have already suggested. Live in the present, moment by moment. You can't change the past, but you can live in the present which shapes the way your future pans out. Either carry on being the spineless patsy your ex- fully expects you to be, or live your life - for you. You never know when you'll get another chance. You can spend all your life looking at what "has-been", and miss the wonderful things that "is". Grow some, and be the guy you're born to be.
Author Ezekiel1337 Posted January 10, 2009 Author Posted January 10, 2009 I really enjoy reading your posts Geishawhelk. They are very comforting, even if you are cracking down on my incesant posting. Im sorry about that, i just figured that they are new topics, not continuations of the old ones. Plus, my older posts are long, and no one wants to read all the way through them to find out what is going on. Lol, im sorry though. I'll try to continue on one post as often as possible. And ill try to break em up a bit better. This new girl is definatly crazy about me. I DO want to live my life. The thing is i dont want to break her heart. I can tell right now she likes me way more than i like her. I mean I like her, but like i said earlier... i think im temporarily incapable of real emotion when it comes to a relationship. I can see myself with this girl for a while. I like it. She does make me happy. I mean i was happy with ex, but that is over now. And she makes me happy. I just like that she's been waiting for the chance to appreciate me, words she said exactly. My ex is going to try to sabatoge me. I can see it happening. She is going to want to get back together, and if i do, that is where she ruins it for me. Cus she will break up with me after a little while, and i would have already broken the new girls heart, so i will have no one. Now... i've been right about everything that has happened so far. Im not joking, everything. So i can see this being one scenario that could happen. I could have never imagined when my ex broke up with me the first time, that within a month someone was going to want what she had. I thought i was going to have to SHOW someone what i could do for them. Instead i got a girl that has already witnessed how i treat a woman and wants it. I guess i would to though if i had gotten out of an abusive relationship. And god is she beautiful. Well, im going over to the new girls house tonight. Renting a movie. The more i go out with this girl, the faster i forget about ex. Funny how things happen. Had it not been for 1 message from the new girl/old friend in my Myspace that i was going to delete, i would not be doing what i am doing now.
Geishawhelk Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 My ex is going to try to sabatoge me. I can see it happening. She is going to want to get back together, and if i do, that is where she ruins it for me. Cus she will break up with me after a little while, and i would have already broken the new girls heart, so i will have no one. Now... i've been right about everything that has happened so far. Im not joking, everything. So i can see this being one scenario that could happen. Listen very carefully. You're an idiot. Your ex- will sabotage you. if you let her. She is going to want to get back with you. If you let her. She will ruin it for you. If you let her. What the heck are you thinking? Why are you already agreeing to get back with her and *quote* 'break the new girls' heart'? Does she deserve it? No. Does she love you? Yes. better than your ex- ever did? Gosh, yes! The easy, simple and - in my opinion - obvious solution to this is for you to break the pattern. Don't LET the ex- sabotage you. refuse to even entertain the idea. Don't let her get back with you. The space in your heart is taken, thanks. Don't let her ruin it for you. Let her ruin it for herself for once! For goodness' sake! Why would you not only want to get back with this destructive, jealous, manipulative monster, but also predict that this is exactly what she will be able to manage to get you to do - ??!! Honestly, you need a reality check! Your ex isn't Fate - she's Dated! I could have never imagined when my ex broke up with me the first time, that within a month someone was going to want what she had. I thought i was going to have to SHOW someone what i could do for them. Instead i got a girl that has already witnessed how i treat a woman and wants it. I guess i would to though if i had gotten out of an abusive relationship. And god is she beautiful. So what the hell IS your problem, then???
Author Ezekiel1337 Posted January 10, 2009 Author Posted January 10, 2009 Listen very carefully. You're an idiot. Your ex- will sabotage you. if you let her. She is going to want to get back with you. If you let her. She will ruin it for you. If you let her. What the heck are you thinking? Why are you already agreeing to get back with her and *quote* 'break the new girls' heart'? Does she deserve it? No. Does she love you? Yes. better than your ex- ever did? Gosh, yes! The easy, simple and - in my opinion - obvious solution to this is for you to break the pattern. Don't LET the ex- sabotage you. refuse to even entertain the idea. Don't let her get back with you. The space in your heart is taken, thanks. Don't let her ruin it for you. Let her ruin it for herself for once! For goodness' sake! Why would you not only want to get back with this destructive, jealous, manipulative monster, but also predict that this is exactly what she will be able to manage to get you to do - ??!! Honestly, you need a reality check! Your ex isn't Fate - she's Dated! So what the hell IS your problem, then??? No no no no no.... lol you got it all wrong. That is what i believe her plan is. I have no intention of getting back with her. I've got something really great here. This girl really likes me, she appreciates me, she makes me feel good... and shes great in bed which is a plus. So no, im not getting back with my ex. But i guarantee you when she finds out, and she will find out due to how small this town is, she will start her plan. No no no, im not going to let her get to me like that. The further away from the break up i get, the more things i realize about my ex. At first i was blinded by my addiction and love for her. My ex was not the manipulative , destructive, b*tch she's being now. She has always been controlling and jealous though. And now a i realize she has never appreciated what i've done for her. Believe... every day gets clearer and clearer. I dont think i've had a passionate moment like i had last night with my ex more than once or twice. This was incredible. As a matter of fact, today... i litterally felt nothing for my ex. Nor did i want to contact her. I kind of felt sorry for her. Because of how easy this is for me now. I think she has been hoping i would be wallowing in a puddle of tears until she came back. When we talked last night, she realized that. And thats when she started having second thoughts. But it's to late. She left a hole in my heart, and someone was willing to fill it. My ex literally told me she was under the impression that what was going to happen was the she goes and dates other people to find out if thats what she wants, and ill be here when she comes back... if she comes back. Bull Sh*t! So no Geisha, that i do not want. Sorry if i gave the wrong impression, i was just trying to convey what i believe she is planning for me. And it would have transpired had last night not happened. But now that i confirmed that this new girl is crazy about me... it's a no brainer.
Author Ezekiel1337 Posted January 10, 2009 Author Posted January 10, 2009 Its ok, i know you were giving your sound advice, and it is GREAT advice that you have given me, what you have all given me. And for that i am EXTREMELY grateful. This site has pulled me through the hardest part, and now that i have found someone new, or they actually found me, this board has helped me see what i could not see due to the love blinders. And for that, i am truely grateful. Dont worry about it Geisha lol.
Adri Ana Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 Ezekiel , Geisha , Enjoyed the whole thread . Especially Geisha`s advices . They are always so well thought ,well expressed and well put,I just lose it .. lol:laugh: .. no,no,am not joking , they are really always great ,thumbs up . Now ,Ezekiel , as I understood ,she-1 is your ex,while she-2 is a present your girl whom you are feeling good with . I realize you still have feelings for your ex,while your present lets you feel nice .. You are confused whom to choose. Now close your eyes and imagine,one of them just disappeared from your life . Just disappeared ,vanished,aliens had taken her .Thats it ! Imagine about her-1 and her-2. At which moment you felt your heart fell down ? Pick her up and stay with her whose absence made your heart just stop. And remember, once breaking is better than lying all life . Even to yourself . And surely to others. Best of luck !
malibustacydoll Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 First of all, you need to keep to one thread, because platering the forum with different threads essentially baout the same topic, is not doing you nay favours. it's coinfusing. On top of that, you really need to break up your posts into maangeable, legible chunks. Reading one big solid paragraph is hard on the eyes. So trey to paragraph and leave gaps, ok? Why do you always have to criticize people?
Geishawhelk Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 because I have a point. Look...... This poster didn't get all that defensive. In fact, he not only apologised, bless his cute cottons, but complied. What's your point?
Adri Ana Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 Why do you always have to criticize people? A Healthy Criticizing helps (I am not Geisha,but I consider her right)
bubblegum Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 I'm not sure what, but there's something about this (these) threads that makes me uncomfortable. I just can't put my finger on it.
Geishawhelk Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 What type of threads? Not sure what you mean. Could you elaborate, please?
bubblegum Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 I mean Ezekiel's threads, no others. I've been following his situation, and feeling for him. I think his ex is behaving very selfishly and immaturely. But there's something about how the OP is describing his relationship with this new (or ex-new or whatever) woman that makes me uncomfortable.
Author Ezekiel1337 Posted January 11, 2009 Author Posted January 11, 2009 I dont consider the new girl my ex. We were so young when we first dated, it doesnt even count. We were just dating because we could, most we ever did was make out lol. Now.... it's way different. Even though we've been going down separate roads for a while now, we ended up with the same interests. Not just that, but she has a genuine attraction to me. She has watched me grow up, and i've watched her grow up. I mean, she is my second oldest friend, next to my friend who is a guy that has been my friend since the 5th grade. Im now a senior in college. She has been my friend since the 8th grade, but weve known eachother since before then. Three things could be happening 1. We wernt ready to date at those times, and this just happens to be the right time to try it out. We arnt even dating officially yet, but... actually, i guess unofficially yes we are. Otherwise, she wouldnt be doing half the things shes doing. Anyways 2. I'm about to ruin a very long friendship with someone who has cared for me for a long time. But this was her decision. She wanted this. She even said, she's been waiting for this. I dont know... i dont want her to be gone... shes been good to me, for a long time. And we werent even together. 3. Rushed into this decision, without giving enough time to understand what i really want with my ex. But i can tell you, i dont like being a b*tch, and that's what my ex thinks i am. For the people that have been following my threads.... THANK YOU. Im sorry there were so many of them, and there is nothing wrong with constructive criticism. He had a point, i tried to read one of my older posts, it was confusing, didnt know if i was on the right line when i went down one. lol it got confusing and hurt my head. But i wonder, did this all happen to fast? I mean, im going to go to her house again tonight. She says she wants to see me agian, she wants my company. We're gunu rent a movie and fall asleep for a while. Sounds absolutley fantastic to me. But, like i said before... i thought i was going to be a mess for months. Its not really right i think... I think it's important to suffer... by why does it hurt so much . It feels good not to hurt... not just that but being cared for.
Author Ezekiel1337 Posted January 11, 2009 Author Posted January 11, 2009 Just spent another night with the new girl. She's mine. We promised each other that the ex's are done and gone. We're together right now for a reason, and there's a reason we wernt together at any point within these last 9 years. I dunno, she was worried the entire time id break her heart because of the ex. But, to tell you guys the truth, in 3 1/2 years with my ex, i never had a SINGLE night that felt like the night i had with the new girl. I have NEVER had an entire night of passion (not just sex, sex was a plus... but hours of talking and just laying with eachother), especially 2 nights in a row. My ex used to always tell me she felt safe with me, the new girl told me that to... but the feeling is mutual this time. I never felt safe with my ex, i always felt like I was the one who had anything to worry about. I always protected her, but that means that i was taking the hits so she could be OK. So i never felt safe with her. In other words, her saftey came at the expense of mine. Im done with the ex. The new girl is IT for now. No reason to hurt an innocent person with a relationship that is doomed now. I guess im going to move my experiences with the new girl to another part of the site. Dont want to give anyone the feeling that im bragging... but i will tell you I AM VERY VERY happy today.
WiseOne1 Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 Dude you are a legend, dang man, I got to give you your props on this, and your right, there should be no reason that the new girl gets hurt just because the ex wants her way. Make the ex wait and tell her you'll think about it if you and the new girl ever breaks up. Man this is better than those getting back together threads, this is a moving on thread, you are the king.
WiseOne1 Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 Also let me get finish telling you why you are a legend,lol. You didn't sit around and whine for months and years, you didn't let the ex hold you down, and not let you get with the other girls, and you have something that sounds like it just might work. Of course your ex is going to come back with vengeance, shes going to call the new girl names and all of that, (trust me I know), but tell your ex to get a life, and grow up.
Trimmer Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 Make the ex wait and tell her you'll think about it if you and the new girl ever breaks up. Man this is better than those getting back together threads, this is a moving on thread, you are the king. NO, do NOT tell your ex anything about "if you and the new girl ever break up..." That would be so disrespectful to this new relationship, and it would give your ex some impression that there might still be something there, which just makes her think she's got some hooks into you, etc.... NO GOOD could come of it, on either side. This is about moving on, so if you are in a new relationship, be FULLY in the new relationship, don't be planning exit strategies, keeping one foot in the past, or keeping options open for the future. Be here. Now.
WiseOne1 Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 NO, do NOT tell your ex anything about "if you and the new girl ever break up..." That would be so disrespectful to this new relationship, and it would give your ex some impression that there might still be something there, which just makes her think she's got some hooks into you, etc.... NO GOOD could come of it, on either side. This is about moving on, so if you are in a new relationship, be FULLY in the new relationship, don't be planning exit strategies, keeping one foot in the past, or keeping options open for the future. Be here. Now. Ok I take that back, Trimmer is right. Tell her that your in a relationship, and that your focused on the current relationship, just be blunt.
Author Ezekiel1337 Posted January 11, 2009 Author Posted January 11, 2009 Lol, thank you wise1. But to tell you the truth.... you guys did this to me. It was all of your guy's help that put me where i am. I thought i WAS going to be around for months wallowing. But every time i read more, and the more i posted and got replies... i had to accept that even if the ex wants to get back, it will never be the same again. It would be like trying to burn wet logs... they used to burn great when they were dry... but trying to get the fire to get going again... its just not going to work. I have nothing but thanks to give ALL of you, every one that helped, and help does not just mean posting replies to me. But reading other peoples experiences. Ive said a few times on this site that i am very analytical. Well, at first... there was only 1 scenario that kept playing out in my head... and it was me waiting for my ex to come back. But after reading stories, people's stories with similar experiences, i found that there are TONS of possibilites. The fact that this new girl is in my life... would not have mattered had it not been for all the help i got here. People... believe someone when they say MOVE ON... NC... PICK YOUR HEAD UP, and just keep on walking. Time isnt going to wait for you, it keeps on going. My ex left me, she left me completly heart broken and hurt me worse than anyone has ever hurt me. Literally no one in my life... no one, has ever hurt me like she did. The lies, how she broke up with me, the deciet, the games, the manipulation, the emotional affair, the list goes on. This is who she is now... she wasn't that way before 2 months ago... But now, what helps me move on... is accepting that this is who she has become. When someone crosses a line in a relationship, it makes it easier to do it again later. One has to accept that if the relationship continues later, it will be easier for them to do the same things they did to you before (cheating, lying, manipulating, absuing, etc.) because they have already done them. This fact makes me WANT to move on. This new girl even tells me she wants to appreciate me. And the feeling is mutual. What's wierd though for us, is that since we both just got out of relationships... we catch ourselves trying to say the 3 words we used to tell our ex's. " I Love You". We have not said it yet, but we laughed about it last night, how we keep trying to hold back from saying it, because the nights are going so fantastic, that it seems it would be the appropriate thing to say, it feels like it needs to be said. But... we are just getting to know eachother. lol
Geishawhelk Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 Tell her she's history - full stop! (The Ex, I mean..... You need say no more than that!! And hang up the 'phone the minute you do - don't get drawn into long, drawn-out, pointless destructive diatribe... Don't create dramas or play up to them, huh? "legend".... :laugh:
Author Ezekiel1337 Posted January 11, 2009 Author Posted January 11, 2009 Ok I take that back, Trimmer is right. Tell her that your in a relationship, and that your focused on the current relationship, just be blunt. Definatly, i dont want to stoop to her level. Because that's exactly what she told me. That she's going to date around, and for me to wait for her single. And when it doesnt work out, she would come back to me. Can you believe that bull Sh*t? I do want ther to know though, that someone wants to love me. I dont have to WANT them to, they want to do it. And unlike with the ex, i dont have to bend over backwards to make sure they arnt going to leave me. This girl is head over heels for me... my ex is not. It would actually be a chore to try to keep my ex liking me, not loving me. She said already she wasnt IN LOVE with me, and she tried to take it back a few days ago. Once you say it, it's been said. And once you feel that way... that's how you feel. So... she WILL find out, because of how close unfortunatly these two live. I mean literally a few minutes away from eachother. Plus, she knew her... and she's gunu find out very fast whats going on. And she IS the kind of person that would call her names and bitch at her if she saw her somewhere public. Even though she was the one that left ME! But, the new girl knows that already. She says she doesn't care. She had her chance, and she blew it. And she say's thats what she's gunu tell her. I laughed... cus it's true.
WiseOne1 Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 I feel you man, but do you know the ego rush that comes with this, I mean you think that its gonna be said and done!!.....but shes gonna continue to call, shes gonna be like "make sure you call me back", she's going to come over if possible. She's also going to get mad if you refuse to give her any information, trust me I have played with my exs feelings, not to be, but my ex left me got a new bf, and she was soo jealous, she cursed me out, call my new gf names. Regardless of how humble we are as a person, but with someone all over you begging for attention and etc is going to boost anyones confidence or self esteem, and thats just how the a humans emotions work. All im saying is when it happens, your going to have to deal with a ego trip, and a nasty ex, to keep this new relationship in good standing something has to be done about her.
Author Ezekiel1337 Posted January 12, 2009 Author Posted January 12, 2009 I feel you man, but do you know the ego rush that comes with this, I mean you think that its gonna be said and done!!.....but shes gonna continue to call, shes gonna be like "make sure you call me back", she's going to come over if possible. She's also going to get mad if you refuse to give her any information, trust me I have played with my exs feelings, not to be, but my ex left me got a new bf, and she was soo jealous, she cursed me out, call my new gf names. Regardless of how humble we are as a person, but with someone all over you begging for attention and etc is going to boost anyones confidence or self esteem, and thats just how the a humans emotions work. All im saying is when it happens, your going to have to deal with a ego trip, and a nasty ex, to keep this new relationship in good standing something has to be done about her. Hahahaahah, incidently, just as i was checking this post, i was just thinking about what has been happening for the last 2 hours. Bro, you are right on the money. Let me explain what happened: I get a text. My ex is mad that i havn't text her... The problem with that statement is that for 2 weeks i was the only one texting first throughout the day. And she would respond with 1 liners. K Thnx Bye, cool tttyl, at work ttyl, sure ttyl. That kind of sh*t. So i got tired of it. Ive been sticking to NC for a while now, mabey a little under a week. Thing is, when i dont text her one day, she will break NC and txt me. Normally it hasnt been anything mean, just whats up kind of stuff. Well, today was different. She was pissed. I hadnt txt in 2 days and she says to me "text me, you havnt text me in a while, and either you're ignoring me or something happened to you. She then proceeded to calling me. Long story short, i just didnt make things worse. I said, no im not ignoring you, you just havnt text me in a few days, i just dont want to be the one who is always having to txt you first. She later proceeded to try to make me jealous by saying she's getting taken out to dinner. Why i wonder. Oh thats right, because she has already caught on to the fact that im with someone else. Sadly for her, but amazingly enough for me, i do not care! HAHAHAH IM SERIOUS! I REALLY DONT! almost 4 weeks after she broke a 3 1/2 year relationship, and i couldn't give TWO SH*TS about who's taking her out. Simply fantastic.
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