luxxter Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 So my boyfriend and I have been dating for just under four months now and we are definitely in love and we made it clear from the beginning that this is not just a casual relationship cause we're both not into 'dating around'. We're both in college and things are going really well except that his family recently got into some financial difficulties and is probably not gonna be able to support his tuition for the coming semester and so he's decided to take a semester off and work. Then he tells me that his Dad could possibly get him an job spot in chicago which is 3 hours away and he'll be there for a year. This would mean that we'll be having a sort of long distance relationship and all my friends who've tried that have told me how hard it is to maintain their relationships....... all of whom had either started cheating on their bfs/gfs or had broken up due to the strain. Now, there is a possibility that my boyfriend can just settle for a job where we're at right now and reject the job offer in Chicago, but this would be going against his Dad and also a higher pay. I'm obviously happy for him that he's able to find a job up there but selfishly I'm afraid of the difficulties we'll have to face and with a tough academic semester ahead, I'm not sure if I can deal with the stress. He's told me that my feelings are really important to his decision too and if I insist that he stays then he will try to get out of it even if it means going against his Dad. Should I support him and put this relationship at risk or should I telll him that I want him to stay? : (
motive2002 Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 So the option of going with him isn't on the table? What you've heard about long distance relationships is true. It is a lot of strain and many of them split up. I don't want to sound like a dark cloud of doom, but the odds are against you on this one. That doesn't mean you can't survive a year apart and still work things out, but try to be realistic.
Author luxxter Posted January 10, 2009 Author Posted January 10, 2009 Hey thanks for the reply. No, going with him is 100% not an option for me. I'm in college and my very Asian parents would never allow it especially for a guy. Do you think I should tell him that I don't want him to go then? I just feel extremely selfish for saying something like that and limiting him... like im such a crappy girlfriend. On the other hand, he has said that he would visit as often as possible, weekends, holidays etc. It's just that I'm not sure if what he says is what's gonna happen. May I also add that I'm an incredibly emotional and needy gf even though sometimes I don't act clingy/needy just to give him space.
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