pushforward Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 hi guys, no need to report my story, you all already know it. just sitting here and enduring it. feeling the burn and not enjoying it at all. i don't ever want to fall in love again if this is the price i pay for loving somebody. being cheated on and being lied to. right now everything is self inflicted, it's been 2 months NC and she cannot inflict any pain to me. it's all on me. i've done everything to cut her out of my life. blocked her on networking site and changed my number. moved to a new place and got rid of all the memories. i don't know what to do at this point. sometimes i feel okay, sometimes i feel horrible. i don't know now. i keep moving forward but this lingering sadness/love for her is driving me nuts. my world is off balance and i don't know what to do. help. i need some today
Sbrizio Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 Pushforward, it happens to pass through these moments. They will subside. Three days ago i was quite in a depressed mood, the worst i felt since weeks. I was starting to lose any hope of recovering from my sadness and grievance...i was pretty scared too, as my mind would drift over very negative thoughs sometimes...the only moments of relief came from seeing friends, being out, being active. Then two days ago a friend of mine invited me at her place with some friends of her, and i went there (almost unwillingly) just obeying my philisophy: "stay active at all means". Well, i met two interesting girls there, i talked with both, and for the first time in months, i felt actually some attraction. Since then, i'm getting along really better, and i feel i'm detaching from my past...and i'm interested in the future evolutions. I think the key moment is when you really start to realize that you're not anymore interested in reviving a dead past, and that you're more and more excited in the possibilties the future offers. And the best way to discover these possibilities is to live actively. Stay up, there is hope! Just try not to let your sadness "tie you down" on your bed/sofa/house.
Surfer Dude Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 I completely understand how you feel pushforward. As you know, I was seriously messed up several days ago and I couldn't function normally. Yesterday and today I've been feeling pretty good. Being on this emotional rollercoaster sucks, but I've listened to advice of other members here and it really helped me. I've started working out (it releases endorphins into your bloodstream, it does wonders to lift your mood), I read books a lot, play video games, heck I've even started meditating. Those things may seem pretty trivial, but anything that distracts your mind from the thoughts of your ex, does wonders. You've implemented a total NC, got rid of everything that would remind you of her, there's basically nothing else you can do in that respect. The only thing left for you to do is do self work. You will be fine man, it's just a matter of time now. And don't be afraid of falling in love again, just be more cautious. I know I that next time I'll be much more careful to whom I give my heart, to what extent I give it, and I'll try to be aware of all the red flags.
heggs Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 Head up brother , Im going through this to, Lifes about coming through the storm unscaved. Good luck man
EmperorR Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 i hate it as well, I can't waitt ill ther are no more bad days, argh.
kizik Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 i don't ever want to fall in love again if this is the price i pay for loving somebody. being cheated on and being lied to. Dude, let me assure you that being cheated on and lied to is not the price you pay for falling in love. Nor is it the norm. It is what selfish, immature, pea-minded, attention-needing little wh*res like your exGF do. OK? I don't remember your story, but my guess is that both you and your ex are in your early 20s. People in their early 20s treat each other like sh*t a lot of the time. Your ex? Just another stupid and confused 20-year-old girl. it's been 2 months NC and she cannot inflict any pain to me. it's all on me. i've done everything to cut her out of my life. blocked her on networking site and changed my number. moved to a new place and got rid of all the memories. Great job man! You have implemented the tools of No Contact quite well. You are NOT self-inflicting pain. As you say, you've done everything to cut her out of your life. Now it's just thought replacement and time that will heal you. You need to stop thinking you did anything wrong. Our exes often convince us, out of their own self-esteem issues, that we are worthless and unlovable. What a terrible thing to convince someone of. I almost want to laugh at the fact that you think a relationship inherently entails cheating and lying. My friend, one day you will meet a woman. And you will know exactly what that is when you meet one. POST 1500 I AM THE F*CKING MAN.
Author pushforward Posted January 10, 2009 Author Posted January 10, 2009 Dude, let me assure you that being cheated on and lied to is not the price you pay for falling in love. Nor is it the norm. It is what selfish, immature, pea-minded, attention-needing little wh*res like your exGF do. OK? I don't remember your story, but my guess is that both you and your ex are in your early 20s. People in their early 20s treat each other like sh*t a lot of the time. Your ex? Just another stupid and confused 20-year-old girl. Great job man! You have implemented the tools of No Contact quite well. You are NOT self-inflicting pain. As you say, you've done everything to cut her out of your life. Now it's just thought replacement and time that will heal you. You need to stop thinking you did anything wrong. Our exes often convince us, out of their own self-esteem issues, that we are worthless and unlovable. What a terrible thing to convince someone of. I almost want to laugh at the fact that you think a relationship inherently entails cheating and lying. My friend, one day you will meet a woman. And you will know exactly what that is when you meet one. POST 1500 I AM THE F*CKING MAN. Oh, I deserve better, way better. I treated her like anybody would want to be treated. One of my greatest qualities is making anyone feel special. She just effed up on me and I'm taking this personal. The break up is what it is. Hurts, but I'll keep moving through it. Thanks for the reply.
You'reasian Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 Oh, I deserve better, way better. I treated her like anybody would want to be treated. One of my greatest qualities is making anyone feel special. She just effed up on me and I'm taking this personal. The break up is what it is. Hurts, but I'll keep moving through it. Thanks for the reply. Break-ups aren't all that bad. Think about it. You were in a relationship that wasn't going to work anyways...and there's probably a woman out there who would greatly appreciate you. Hell, she may be a great woman! You'll never know unless you go out and maybe meet her.
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