Silverthorn1973 Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 Bingo. 'What would you like out of this relationship?' would have been nice, too.
4by4 Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 - Spend some quality time before jumping into a relationship, enjoy the chase and go slow initially. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. - Never plan for longer than a few months, it ruins relationships because everything becomes predictable. Unless if you are serious about getting married or moving in together soon, don't bring it up, don't make plans for your lives together without any basis. It's best to refrain yourself from even thinking about it. - Walk away from arguments before they turn into something real nasty. If something isn't resolved within 5 mins, it wont be resolved in 5 hours. Leave, come back and talk about it some other day. - Never beg/plead, if the person wants you, he/she will make it very clear. Displaying neediness kills any relationship and romance. - Understand love is imperfect. Never go on chasing completeness. - We don't choose to stay in love so appreciate your time together and understand everything comes to an end, eventually. Relationships shouldn't be about length, it's quality over quantity.
Template Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 Another thing I've learnt from my latest experience: if the other person never once asks – over the course of your relationship with them – what would make you happy in the relationship (at least in the context of mine), then it's destined to be extremely one-sided and doomed to fail. It's a sign they're in it only for their own gratification. I hear you. I guess I was more thinking about the things she simply never asked or said. Bingo. 'What would you like out of this relationship?' would have been nice, too. That is so true. My ex never once asked me anything pertaining to that.
lastnight Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 - Spend some quality time before jumping into a relationship, enjoy the chase and go slow initially. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. - Never plan for longer than a few months, it ruins relationships because everything becomes predictable. Unless if you are serious about getting married or moving in together soon, don't bring it up, don't make plans for your lives together without any basis. It's best to refrain yourself from even thinking about it. - Walk away from arguments before they turn into something real nasty. If something isn't resolved within 5 mins, it wont be resolved in 5 hours. Leave, come back and talk about it some other day. - Never beg/plead, if the person wants you, he/she will make it very clear. Displaying neediness kills any relationship and romance. - Understand love is imperfect. Never go on chasing completeness. - We don't choose to stay in love so appreciate your time together and understand everything comes to an end, eventually. Relationships shouldn't be about length, it's quality over quantity. This is the best post I've read on this forum so far, amazingly so spot on. I've learnt that you shouldn't have any regrets, once the pain subsidies clarity and perspective guide you on to be bigger and stronger for everything, time heals all wounds.
darnay Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 Never Stray From the Path, Never Eat a Windfall Apple, and Never Trust a Man Whose Eyebrows Meet in the Middle...
Hersheys Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 I learned: -that you really cannot force someone to love or want to be with you -that when someone wants to break up with you, no cute/loving words or actions can endear you back to them -to handle a break up with dignity, self-respect and self-control because there's really nothing else you can do but accept it no matter how painful -to think before I speak. I do not want to regret saying things out of anger -that a good, loving and stable relationship doesn't have to be so hard -to be more rational at the early stages of the relationship. Think with your heart and mind but trust more what you're mind is telling you
Frankasy Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 Learned a lot from previous relationships but the most important thing I've learned is that first I gotta put my foot in it, then my head. Anyways now it's over so...
birdie Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 I learnt that I used to be a complete idiot when I was so scared of break-ups that I would try to guess my partner's intentions during a conflict and would try to preempt it by breaking up with him first. Now I am more mature and realised that really any of us can survive absolutely any pain in the long term so if I think the relationship has a future, I fight for it. I also learnt that no matter how much I love someone, communication, kindness and loyalty are qualities I can't compromise on.
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