addidas Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 how do you handle when she is talking about her problems (i.e. at work)? Do I try to solve her problems? Or just listen to her, even though she might go non-stop about it?
Author addidas Posted January 10, 2009 Author Posted January 10, 2009 I'm asking this because I want to handle this right... And I don't want to become the source of her venting/problems. In the past, I have experienced such women that do that and it has made me kind of nervous.
zenith Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 just pretend that you are listening to her you know, like ''yeah'' and ''uh huh'' in-between her sentences... just do not become her emotional tampon... that is why she has girl friends
Star Gazer Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 Generally speaking, when a woman is venting to you, she doesn't want you to fix the problem, or to suggest ways to fix it. She wants to just vent, and have you listen and understand what she's going through. She wants you to empathize, and be on her side. My guy is great at this.
prettybaby Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 Yeah, when we whine about stuff, we're not exactly looking for a miracle solution to come out of your mouth lol We just want someone to listen and understand.
Walk Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 My H used to try to solve everything when I just wanted to vent out some frustrations. One time he flat out told me if I just wanted to vent then to tell him, and if I needed his help with something to straight out ask for it. It really opened my eyes about how difficult it was for him to figure out what I needed from him. From that poin forward I tried letting him know when I was venting or when I wanted him to suggest solutions. Not that I was 100% great at letting him know, but generally. Which helped him learn how to interpret me, and determine on his own what I was asking him for when I would start complaining about a problem. My suggestion is to tell your gf that you're having a hard time figuring out what she needs from you, and ask her to help you by saying what it is she's doing (i.e. venting, or asking for your involvement). Explain how you're feeling to her. She probably doesn't realize what you're going through. And let her know that you're asking for this because you want to be the best partner you can for her, that ultimately you need her to do this so that you can make her life happier.
Jo78 Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 BF is awesome at this. When I come home and need to vent to him, he listens to all of it, sometimes asks a question or two to clarify something (showing me he's really listening), then hugs me and says "I'm sorry you had such a crappy day, honey!" This makes life immediately so much better.
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