imlonely Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 First let me say that I am a gay male and I had been in a loving, happy relationship with this guy for almost two years. (started seeing him Jan of 2007) We never cheated on each other. Our relationship was so strong I got know his family as being a part of my own. I still communicate with his family and as a matter of fact Im going out with his sister and her husband next weekend to a comedy club. But Me and my ex communicated just about every day. If I didnt see him, we would at least talk on the phone. He then started working second shift so we didnt see much of each other. When he first started the new shift I thought it was odd that several days had gone by before he called me. We then had a serious conversation where he said he just wanted to be friends and that this guy he had a crush on in the past was flirting with him. He told me he didnt want to cheat on me so he wanted to be friends. For the time I convinced him to stay with me. Then about a week or so later his father died. I didnt hear anything from him for over a week. When we finally talked, he made it official that we were breaking up. The next day I find out that the guy he had a crush on and was flirting with him had moved in with him. Supposedly because my ex didnt want to be alone in the house because of his father's death. He then stopped calling me all together. I had gone 3 months without seeing him and about 2 months without talking to him. When I tried to call him, he always had an excuse for not staying on the phone. He would say he had to watch the phone bill or that he didnt feel like talking to anyone on the phone. I finally saw him on Christmas eve. After talking to my Ex's sister I found out he got emotional upset over an email I sent him saying I loved him and where I had created a heart with our two pictures in it. That told me he still has feelings for me. How do I get back with him? Deep down I know he still loves me, thats why he is having difficulty seeing me or talking to me. He wants to be with this new guy but he still loves me and he is using his father's death as an excuse. What do I do to get him back?
DSM-IV Tom Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 Straight up my friend? You don't. Tell him you love him and it's too painful to remain in any sort of contact. Then cut off all contact. No email. No txt. No calls. No voicemails. No talking through mutual friends. Nothing. ABSOLUTE no contact. He has to come back to you by choice. ANYTHING you say or do right now will seem pathetic and desperate and only serve to push him away. ANYTHING and EVERYTHING 100000000000000000000000000%.
EmperorR Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 Straight up my friend? You don't. Tell him you love him and it's too painful to remain in any sort of contact. Then cut off all contact. No email. No txt. No calls. No voicemails. No talking through mutual friends. Nothing. ABSOLUTE no contact. He has to come back to you by choice. ANYTHING you say or do right now will seem pathetic and desperate and only serve to push him away. ANYTHING and EVERYTHING 100000000000000000000000000%. Tom never lies listen to this man, I'm sure it's not what you want to hear but its 100% truth.
DSM-IV Tom Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 Thanks for the support Emperor you know I have your back.
famke Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 I think you should go No contact immediatly. without saying you love him. start today. If he contacts you then say you dont want to remain any sort of contact. but honestly, do you think he will even bother to contact you? hes now with another guy. new love in his life. I know you want him back, and I understand why. But you have to protect yourself in this situation. I just cant believe how he cut you out of his life like that!! arent you mad at him? think about it. The person you loved took a good long look at the awesomeness that is you, evaluated your relationship together, and said, "No, thanks. I'll try my luck elsewhere." Or you said it to him. Either way, that alone should make you realize that it wasn't a match made in heaven. - greg brehrendt He doesnt want you back sweetheart, otherwise he wouldnt be so cruel to take some other guy in his house and move on. let him go. You're better than this!!!! you deserve better!!!
Author imlonely Posted January 12, 2009 Author Posted January 12, 2009 thanks for all the advice everyone. Its just so hard when you love someone so much. You tend to over looked how you have been wronged.
GoneButNotForgotten Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 A lot of people do that. And it takes time for the polarization of the light to shift and show them what they truly are. At first all you see in the other person are their amazing qualities. After some time that starts to dull and you realize how unfair it was to you. After that you can work on rebuilding yourself and finding someone who wants to be with you and only you.
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