zhsoj Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 I know this has been beaten to death, but I've got to ask. I've been talking (about a half dozen messages) online with this woman (see http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t174510/) and I am totally inexperienced in all things relationshipy. The question, though it really is rhetorical, is should I ask her out? I know the advice will generally be along the lines of: "Just do it, what do you have to lose". Still, it wouldn't hurt to reassure this newb. So then the real question, which I know has been asked to death but I just can't seem to remember the advice given, is how? Do I do the normal chit chat thing and then just ask if she'd like to get a cup of coffee or something? Does everyone like coffee? Does that even matter? Should I be specific right off the bat (e.g. would you like to get a cup of coffee at The Little Coffee Hut at 11a.m. on Sunday)? I'm sure there are some more inane questions that I can ask but I know that I'm over-thinking... Part of my trepidation (other than being obviously shy) is that I wasn't really expecting it and never got around to putting up decent pictures of myself (basically they are far enough away you can tell I'm not super skinny nor 300lbs). It's something I was meaning to do before I tried the online thing again... Nor has the conversation to me seemed like it ever really went anywhere, but then I don't have anything to judge it against... Either way, I'm going to ask tonight. I know that I have to. I'd much rather race rejection than regret.
Confusedalways Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 If I could use caps lock without sounding like an idiot, I think I will: ASK HER OUT. You obviously are dying to, and you know you have to! What have you got to lose I wouldn't be specific as in the example you described. It could be beneficial to go out it from 'What are you doing sunday? I thought maybe we could get coffee.' I don't think it really matters if she likes it or not. If you're anti coffee, I would suggest a casual dine in such as panera bread (do they have that everywhere? I don't even know). Either way, casual and stuff. Good luck, let us know how it goes!
Author zhsoj Posted January 10, 2009 Author Posted January 10, 2009 Thanks for the encouragement. It's very much appreciated. Even if I technically shouldn't have needed it. I took your advice so here's to hoping. Now that I have nothing to regret, I can prepare to be rejected
Author zhsoj Posted January 11, 2009 Author Posted January 11, 2009 Wow... She accepted... w00t. Who'd a thought? Now... If I can just remember how to speak properly... I'm envisioning Pulp Fiction and uncomfortable silences... Minus being a bad-ass mobster... Let the real over-thinking commence!
Confusedalways Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 wahoo! I am sure you will be fine!! Just keep it light and friendly, I am sure both of you will have an awesome time.
Author zhsoj Posted January 12, 2009 Author Posted January 12, 2009 Wow, I must say, I think it did go okay. I certainly had a great time at least. I think she did as well. She agreed to "we should do this again sometime" and then I had a brain-fart and forgot to have a specific date in mind. Whoops... I certainly wasn't perfect, but I do think I did fairly well holding eye contact. So let that be a lesson to the shy guys from a shy guy. Just ask; it's a lot nicer to face rejection than to live with regret.
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