lifeiscomplicated Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 I've been dating a woman for a few months now and am not entirly sure if I should continue the relationship, yes I have my faults I can be a bit borring and I'm not use to the type of girl she is, In norm I normally go for the more sensible lady being in my 30's These are her flaws that are concerning me a lot stems down to money issues as business for her is not going too well and she has a fair amount of commitment own house, And it not all entirly her own fault. she can occasionally get angry at times throw things round the room. Takes cocaine on occations (few times a month) Irresponsible with money. Drives car with no tax and insurance (needs to, to work but has little money to do anything about it and realises its wrong) Tend to leave things to the last minuite or takes on too much. Sometimes drinks and drives on boarder of the limit. Has court orders against her for financial reasons. On the brim of being evicted from her own house. has been arrested a few times in her life. likes to drink alchol. can be very careless and tends to get her priorties wrong. There is a good side to her otherwise I would of ended the relationship, She is very caring and kind towards me, helpful and a loving type person, she's complety honest and open with me and told me about her problems. She does not ask me for money or expect expensive things and even when we are out for a meal she will pay her way. I find her attractive and she's good in bed and we have plenty of fun together and she does inject some excitement in to my life. She not lazy and works hard but is finding it hard to keep afloat at difficult times. she doesn't nag or moan which is unusual for a woman and just gets on with life...and what ever life throws at her. I'm oppersite to her in her bad ways, I do really like her and don't want to apear to be the farther figure i.e you should'nt do this.. but then again I'm worried that if the relationship continues to mature and turns in to love that I may end up lower my standards and accept her way of living. any suggestions please?
Geishawhelk Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 You know, I had started answering this, taking your post bit by bit, and commenting as I went, but - To be honest with you, if the fact that she drinks excessively, has a cocaine habit, breaks the law, has been arrested and could be evicted doesn't raise red flags for you, then you're past helping. You can't fix her. you can't change her. She's 'told' you all about her problems, but does nothing, it seems to remedy the worst ones. And this bit: she doesn't nag or moan which is unusual for a woman Is just plain rude, considering the amount of women you'll have reading this. but then again I'm worried that if the relationship continues to mature and turns in to love that I may end up lower my standards and accept her way of living. You're already there, aren't you? being with her is a choice. Lowering your standards of living is a choice. But your comment is also patronising and judgemental. You already believe you are better than she is, and you're looking down on her. This is no way to enter into a relationship. If you have misgivings about all these issues, tell her. if you can't talk it over with her you have two choices - run with it and suck it up, or leave. Simple.
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