Riffmeister General Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 Ugh! Tried removing everything I could related to my ex, with the exception of Myspace cos it's the band one, not mine. Anyway, for some reason that still remains a mystery to me, I went on there, and sure enough, she's changed her profile pic to her and the new bloke from the Canadian flag she had when she was excited about coming to see me, and changed her status from "Excited!" (about coming to see me) to "Loved"... I knew this was coming, but there was some part of me that wished she wouldn't be able to enjoy her new relationship if she was as upset about hurting me as people claim she was. Clearly she's having the time of her life, and I just feel like I've been stabbed in the heart. I was doing so well. I was enjoying my time in the city. Now I'm depressed again, and I've got to put on a brave face for another 2 days. I just want to sleep, or cry then sleep. I knew she was with him, so it's not a shock, but again, it's that thing about the natural hope being snatched away and feeling like I've just been smashed over the head with the truth, rather than me coming to terms with it in my own comfortable way. I've only myself to blame, I shouldn't have looked, but now I have, I know it's there, I can put it to bed and get over it... I hope. Jeez, life really sucks right now.
blackrider27 Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 Yeah i know it sucks, I had the same kinda problem. Stupidly she posted a bulletin on myspace saying new pics and i looked only to see her with her 2 other friends, and 3 guys. And they were all paired up near a fire. How cute right? And it was a picture of her and this jew fro piece of ****, with a :]! caption. Though she said nothing was there between them. I reallllyyy suggest you delete her from myspace, it's a huugee step. And who cares if it's the bands. Are you gonna get kicked out if you do lol?
Author Riffmeister General Posted January 9, 2009 Author Posted January 9, 2009 No, probably not, but I kind of just think that now it's done, I know it is, I was expecting it to happen, but just wasn't prepared for how painful it was going to be to see. I don't need to look again. She hardly ever goes on it anyway, and I've deleted her off Facebook, so hopefully that'll be the end of it. I just hope this hasn't undone 2 weeks of excellent work...
blackrider27 Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 Well, seeing those pics set me back. And i started it again, and i deleted her on sunday and she sent me a bunch of messages for 3 days until i caved on tuesday :|. And then she said she still loves me, which set me even MORE back lol. Isn't it funny, would you want your ex to say they still love you when you feel your close to getting over them? It SUCKS. so now i'm totally confused :/ Best of luck for you Riff
Author Riffmeister General Posted January 9, 2009 Author Posted January 9, 2009 Cheers man, appreciate it. Best of luck to you too. No, I don't think I would want to hear that from her. That's tough. I know we'll never get back what we had, just need to find it with someone else. I'm hoping if she ever says that to me, I'll be so over it that I can just tell her it'll never happen.
blackrider27 Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 It sucks, a lot. I thought i was so passed this. and i never wanted her to tell me that again. i mean i started seriously getting over her because i thought she was over me. To top it all off the next day in chem she happily acts like nothing happened. Aren't exes great. Aside from parents, they know exactly what will F you up don't they? Sometimes i wonder if they even know they have the power to do so. I guess it's best for them to not know, and the dumpee should not let them know.
Ratherunique Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 Don't feel bad Riff, I'm in the ****ter with you....I checked my ex's myspace the status read "Loved" as well and she said she is reminiscing about the happiest moment. My heart was stabbed a thousand times when I saw that. I feel like doing absolutely nothing. I'm fortunate I still have my job.
EmperorR Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 Yeah i know it sucks, I had the same kinda problem. Stupidly she posted a bulletin on myspace saying new pics and i looked only to see her with her 2 other friends, and 3 guys. And they were all paired up near a fire. How cute right? And it was a picture of her and this jew fro piece of ****, with a :]! caption. Though she said nothing was there between them. I reallllyyy suggest you delete her from myspace, it's a huugee step. And who cares if it's the bands. Are you gonna get kicked out if you do lol? dog that "were just friends, heesh calm down" is a crock of sh8t, my ex was in europe hanging out with a friend but she forgot to mention untill they came back they screwed 3 times. My ex met a new friend at school but she forgot to mention to me that they were dating, even when a mutual friend told me their dating she kept saying we're just friends, i'd never date a guy like that its all a crock of bs
blackrider27 Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 oh no, i'm quite aware. But i hope she's happy, cause the guy's like 24, i'm sure he likes her for her warm soul right? EmporerR all apologies for the stuff you went through by the way, i look up to you on this site, cause i see how strong you are with it.
msjules Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 I am in my 40's and don't have a MySpace or Facebook page and have no desire to do so. But I just have to say, I have read time and time again about these stupid dumpers and how quickly they seem to move on and are all too happy to tell the world about it on their personal pages. To me, it is crass and self centered not to mention insensitive. Everytime I read one of these stores I think how lucky you guys are not to have these insensitive @$$es in your lives anymore. I know it hurts to read that crap, and I wonder how true it is in most of the cases. Several years ago I dumped my ex-husband, who quickly remarried within a year. I was still single and not ready to date yet, and I pictured his life in a very ideal way and thought he had the world by a string and I was the only person who was hurting. Turns out that he was just as miserable as I was, he made a mistake and got involved in a rebound relationship. That was 18 years ago and they are still married, but they are utterly miserable. I guess the point I am taking way too long to make is that things are not always as they seem. Just my two cents.
blackrider27 Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 I always wondered how many of the exes that do the crappy things that define a crappy ex, like posting how happy they are, and moving on, are really happy. And are happy with the new guys.girls that don't respect them in any way. Sometimes it's good that they do that. Because it's easier for us to get over them realizing they were no good anyway you know? I know that's what i'm using, and that is like the "one ring" of getting over someone
Crestfallen_KH Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 Riff, I know how you feel. When I moved out of the house I shared with my ex-husband, I thought he (who claimed he just wanted to be single), would get his own place. Well, within a week I found out he was moving into his co-worker's house that he was having the affair with. Two weeks after that, he took her to meet his mother. It seemed like he kept committing one indignity after another. All I could think of was how happy they must be, how selfish he was and how I obviously meant nothing to him. As cruel as it seems, and as as much as they ARE hurting, some people just stuff it and move on. As hard as it is, try not to take it personally. She's just going through her own grieving process and it's not the same as yours. It doesn't mean she is happy, not thinking about you, totally "over it" or anything else you want to assume. Stop feeding your assumptions, and keep moving forward. You may be set back temporarily, but know that it hasn't completely erased the progress you've made.
emotionalydistraugt Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 Hey Riff, I know how you feel. Right before I signed on today I just checked my ex's myspace. I was doing pretty good I hadnt checked it in like a week but back to step one I suppose. It says she's in a relationship now and I'm hurting. I just want to get out of my house and go back to college and hang out with my friends all day so I dont think of her anymore. You know I'm here to talk bud. It sucks bigtime that they're moving on without us. Like we're the ones who were the bad ones. F)ck them.
DSM-IV Tom Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 Your the most positive mother ****er I've ever seen, Rift. (Normally, aside from this topic). That's gotta be worth something. It's alright though friend, we all have to go through times like these. But God **** these psycho females who do this to us, right?
Author Riffmeister General Posted January 11, 2009 Author Posted January 11, 2009 Hey all, Thanks for the words of encouragement - I've been visiting mates in the city so I've been out of the loop a bit. Just a few comments got me thinking that are worth a mention... MsJules & Crestfallen - I'm really glad I'm not the only one to think that splashing her new relationship all over Myspace and Facebook only 2 weeks after she left me for this other guy is completely insensitive and self-centred! I don't care if she thinks it's not fair on the new guy to keep it on the QT for a while, it's not fair on me! Clearly doesn't understand the process - I know I told her I was removing her, but you get those moments of weakness where you just have a peek. I really struggled through that day after seeing that, sat in the park in the rain on my own just thinking about it. Accidently saw she's changed her Facebook pic again to her and this guy (didn't know when you erase them as a friend their comments on pics and stuff remain on there), looks like they're having one hell of a time. I do think tho that you and Crestfallen make a really good point. I have no way of knowing exactly how she's feeling about the whole thing, and making up a world in my head when it just looks like she'd struggle to remember my name right now isn't helping me. Sadly the only proof I have is pictures of her having the time of her life while I'm breaking apart. Really hope you're right, and it's just a temporary setback. Tom - Cheers bro, didn't realise I was come across as positive!
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