GloryDays Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 I need help! I'm at work...to be brief, one of our patients here had a stroke today and had to be sent by ambulance. It made me think about how short and precious life is. I really am considering responding to my ex-boyfriend's text he sent yesterday (see my other thread). I want to say this: "You’re the one I fell in love with, I am letting anger go... I genuinely hope you’re happy with whomever you’re with, I hope you excel in whatever you do, and I wish you good health. Take care of yourself, and be the man you want to be. No response needed-" Should I? Should I not? I mean I know that NC is probably the best way to go...but I kinda want to be the better person. I also know after the nasty things he said to me that most would say he's not worth my time. But, I kinda feel the need to say something in response to his apology, and in what I wrote above I don't think there is anything in it suggesting I want to talk to him etc. Opinions?
SRV Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 "An apology is a good way to have the last word, the superglue of life that can repair just about anything."-Lynn Johnston.
lady_door Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 I don't know the entire backstory, but having read your previous post and this one I'd say don't respond.
DSM-IV Tom Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 No. Stupid idea. Trying to say grand things like that is narcissistic and useless in situations like this.
BCCA Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 I just think there really isnt a good reason to say anything else to him. I mean, why would you do it? Just to be the bigger person? I dont think its worth it. Silence speaks volumes. Let him stew about the nasty things he said to you and live with his decision to say them.
Sysyphus28 Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 I need help! I'm at work...to be brief, one of our patients here had a stroke today and had to be sent by ambulance. It made me think about how short and precious life is. I really am considering responding to my ex-boyfriend's text he sent yesterday (see my other thread). I want to say this: "You’re the one I fell in love with, I am letting anger go... I genuinely hope you’re happy with whomever you’re with, I hope you excel in whatever you do, and I wish you good health. Take care of yourself, and be the man you want to be. No response needed-" Should I? Should I not? I mean I know that NC is probably the best way to go...but I kinda want to be the better person. I also know after the nasty things he said to me that most would say he's not worth my time. But, I kinda feel the need to say something in response to his apology, and in what I wrote above I don't think there is anything in it suggesting I want to talk to him etc. Opinions? You are overthinking and creating false expectations. "No response needed" is a method to get attention or a response or a reaction. I did the same thing with emails, texts, messages, etc. I did the same thing so many times in past relationships. It is not a way to take the power back because this is not how you feel. You miss the heck out of this person, you don't hope they are happy with who they are with now. You are on LS talking to us. You are majorly hurting and really insecure right now. If you have to second guess a text it is not a good idea to send it. Texts are for things like "lol" or j/k or brb. Not serious messages. You don't text, "will you marry me", or "i'm pregnant". You text,"meet you at the mall". Pull back from this! Reduce your stress ten fold and remove yourself from this. Stop yourself from fracturing your dignity, remain proud, remain strong. Face this head on and defeat it! I have been where you are. One text from my ex and my day was stifled and I was a mess! She hit me with a wrecking ball last august, and I survived it. I am on a road to better coping skills and emotional stability, and it is because of LS and many realizations I needed to make. You can do it to. Don't blame yourself for the relationship ending. Let it end completely.
Treasa Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 I just read your other threads. Please DO NOT contact him. You've done pretty well ignoring his harassing texts. Don't give him the upper hand now. He's a jerk, and should really think about his actions. Just move on. You'll still have your dignity and respect that way, and show him how strong you are.
Geishawhelk Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 GloryDays, checking out the replies here, I think you'll find that's a "no".....
Author GloryDays Posted January 9, 2009 Author Posted January 9, 2009 Thank you guys, I haven't sent it to him. Part of me feels so bad for not saying anything but then I think to myself what is going on with me...look at what he's said and done? I am just going to pray for time to heal me. I have a few other guys trying to pursue me but it's just not the same. It's not him. I know I am not ready to move on. I keep wondering if he's going to ever contact me again. Everytime my phone beeps I want it to be him. Yep you read right...I want it to be him. What's wrong with me? I know what he said was terrible, I know things he has done are wrong...I know all this points to he doesn't care. Why do I have false hope?
Hersheys Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 I want to say this: "You’re the one I fell in love with, I am letting anger go... I genuinely hope you’re happy with whomever you’re with, I hope you excel in whatever you do, and I wish you good health. Take care of yourself, and be the man you want to be. No response needed-" Of course you'll wait for a response.
EmperorR Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 Thank you guys, I haven't sent it to him. Part of me feels so bad for not saying anything but then I think to myself what is going on with me...look at what he's said and done? I am just going to pray for time to heal me. I have a few other guys trying to pursue me but it's just not the same. It's not him. I know I am not ready to move on. I keep wondering if he's going to ever contact me again. Everytime my phone beeps I want it to be him. Yep you read right...I want it to be him. What's wrong with me? I know what he said was terrible, I know things he has done are wrong...I know all this points to he doesn't care. Why do I have false hope? you'll get over that soon, and then when he does contact you for some foolishness you will get angry.
Geishawhelk Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 I want to say this: "You’re the one I fell in love with, I am letting anger go... I genuinely hope you’re happy with whomever you’re with, I hope you excel in whatever you do, and I wish you good health. Take care of yourself, and be the man you want to be. No response needed-" The above - Everytime my phone beeps I want it to be him. Yep you read right...I want it to be him. Completely contradicts this. Which indicates (exactly as Hersheys has pointed out) that you are still clinging to a hopeless hope and an aimless love. This is why NC is vital. Absolutely essential. And this is why we're all so determined for you to not send the message, and not get in touch. And probably why in a couple of days (unless you really are strong and determined) you'll be back saying - "Well, I broke and sent him a mssg....." Please, PLEASE PLEASE!! prove me wrong.
Star Gazer Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 "An apology is a good way to have the last word, the superglue of life that can repair just about anything."-Lynn Johnston. I LOVE THAT!!!
Geishawhelk Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 Yes, it's really great!" (Bullsh*i*t, but great!)
Author GloryDays Posted January 10, 2009 Author Posted January 10, 2009 Hersheys & Geisha your both completely right. Thank you! I'm staying strong and not making any contact but I am so so down. EmperorR I hope your right. As bad as this sounds, I'd rather be angry then feel this way. Geisha I did contradict myself big time didn't I? I guess I felt like if I did text him the ball would be back in his court because then I wouldn't have to keep stressing over the should I haves...but, really the ball has always been in his court since I wanted to be with him all along. Eh, either way I am not going to text him. Just wondering if he's ever going to try to contact me again.
famke Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 Im really proud that you haven't text him (yet). I hope you keep on the good work! I know how hard it is. but honestly, you would really regret it if you text him. Ofcourse, you might be thinking its a good idea to send it. And I think thats a sweet message.. but think about this: does he deserve to hear this message?? does he deserve to hear those sweet words to you? I dont know much about your relationship and breakup, so only you can answer that. yeah, I also wonder when he will contact me again. (doing nc too) I think everybody does. But please dont obsesse about it, I did alot. If he does, just let it surprise you.
You'reasian Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 I need help! I'm at work...to be brief, one of our patients here had a stroke today and had to be sent by ambulance. It made me think about how short and precious life is. I really am considering responding to my ex-boyfriend's text he sent yesterday (see my other thread). I want to say this: "You’re the one I fell in love with, I am letting anger go... I genuinely hope you’re happy with whomever you’re with, I hope you excel in whatever you do, and I wish you good health. Take care of yourself, and be the man you want to be. No response needed-" Should I? Should I not? I mean I know that NC is probably the best way to go...but I kinda want to be the better person. I also know after the nasty things he said to me that most would say he's not worth my time. But, I kinda feel the need to say something in response to his apology, and in what I wrote above I don't think there is anything in it suggesting I want to talk to him etc. Opinions? Call him if you can. Tell him personally, its more effective.
famke Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 Call him if you can. Tell him personally' date=' its more effective.[/quote'] DONT!!! do that! dont put yourself in that vulnerable position! honestly, your ex might just laugh at you if you call him to say that. Also, he's going to think that you really care about him and still think about him. you dont want that!
Geishawhelk Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 youreasian is a great guy and has a good handle on a lot of things but in my view, this advice would be counter-productive, if followed. no offence, youreasian, but really, the way things stand at the moment, she'd be telling him "I'll be your footstool!"
You'reasian Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 youreasian is a great guy and has a good handle on a lot of things but in my view, this advice would be counter-productive, if followed. no offence, youreasian, but really, the way things stand at the moment, she'd be telling him "I'll be your footstool!" No offense taken, Geisha If she takes some time to breath, build some gumption and be ready to use some powerful words, I think she could call and express herself adequately. Eitherway, I wish the OP best of luck.
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