El Scorpio Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 Hello.. This is going to be a really stupid, immature question, but I don't care I gotta ask.. so bear with me So I thought I had outgrown the "crushes" phase but apparently not. She was just too cute and I couldn't help myself. But I think one thing I learned is the reason crushes are crushes is usually because it's with a person you feel deep down you'll never be with.. or be compatible with.. or simply can't get. Otherwise, it wouldn't be a crush, it be your next date. But anyway, we had this thing going on always looking and smiling, saying hi.. for months, then before new years I finally talked to her and was feeling it.. like, wow, maybe this won't be a crush, maybe it's going to happen!? But instead of using the opportunity to make things flow, I took off from work (yeah we work together) and been kind of absent since then, so today finally I saw her again but I was looking like crap (woke up late) and I think I gave her the "forget it, you're too hard, I give up" vibe and she gave me the "oh well, too bad" vibe.. Now I feel bad cause I think I had a shot and kinda blew it by not following through. But I also think.. it wouldn't have worked out anyway. That's why it was a crush. What u think. Are crushes really just stupid little mini stories that people do until they meet the real one, and when you do meet the real one it doesn't feel like a "crush" because you're so compatible that talking and interacting comes naturally?
CrashLanded87 Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 See, Im facing a similar situation, but with an added twist... the girl im "crushing" on has a boyfriend for 2 years... But if this girl is single, then your situation could be a lot brighter than mine... Just go up to her and talk to her one day... Just talk about random stuff... like work, whatever, etc. and just get acquainted before you make any irrational decisions... Best of luck
finkelstein Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 to be honest i think your a little backwards my friend. thier are two kinds of crushes realistisc and unrealalistic. like me wanting to bang angelina jolie is unrealalistic but among your coworkers/friends/people on the street w/e, crushes are good. they give you the desire to want more from someone and the push to do it. but you may find that in one minute u have a crush on one the next on another so whens it comes to finding the "one" it will be natual feelin. and if you were smiling and talking then your not in bad shape. but fill me in a little more on exactly what happened, and ill try to help further
Author El Scorpio Posted January 9, 2009 Author Posted January 9, 2009 to be honest i think your a little backwards my friend. thier are two kinds of crushes realistisc and unrealalistic. like me wanting to bang angelina jolie is unrealalistic but among your coworkers/friends/people on the street w/e, crushes are good. they give you the desire to want more from someone and the push to do it. but you may find that in one minute u have a crush on one the next on another so whens it comes to finding the "one" it will be natual feelin. and if you were smiling and talking then your not in bad shape. but fill me in a little more on exactly what happened, and ill try to help further I don't get crushes like this. Last time was back in high school over 10 years ago. I guess the problem is I'm not sure how old she is but I'm guessing early 20's, I'm hittin 30.. but I'm like a kid myself. I look young and I'm thinking she thinks I'm her age, I don't know. I guess that's why it feels like a "crush" because I wasn't sure if this was realistic. I wasn't thinking about it until recently.. the last time we talked, something about her.. her interest seemed genuine and sweet, and I guess at that point I felt like I had to back off. Maybe I'm still in denial that I'm getting old.. it's like, I guess knowing her would make me feel old.. it might be like that. I'm usually the one who feels like the baby.. but it's all relative and with her that won't be the case. I usually would date someone maybe late 20's definately more mature than myself who kinda likes my youthfulness.. probabaly due to a mid-life crises
prettybaby Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 I was looking like crap (woke up late) and I think I gave her the "forget it, you're too hard, I give up" vibe and she gave me the "oh well, too bad" vibe.. Now I feel bad cause I think I had a shot and kinda blew it by not following through. So what; you took some time off for the holidays (doesn't everyone?), and so what, you had a bad day and looked like crap (doesn't everyone?). Be realistic: communicate with her. Get to know her better, and once you feel comfortable enough, ask her out for lunch or something casual like that. No point theorizing about different categories of crushes. You're either attracted to someone or you're not. Whatever happens with that person strictly depends on the dynamics between both of you; not whether she's impossible to get, etc. No one is "out of your league"; unless they're married with children lol
Adamagnet Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 so today finally I saw her again but I was looking like crap (woke up late) and I think I gave her the "forget it, you're too hard, I give up" vibe and she gave me the "oh well, too bad" vibe.. Don't write someone off just because of one psuedo-negative experience. I'm willing to be she just picked up off your mood or your perception was skewed because of the way you were feeling. If it was the former it may even be a good sign (i.e. affect mirroring).
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