durotto Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 Well what is it ? Does it last for ever ? or suddenly one morning do you lose it ? then do you have to rediscover it ?
Tony T Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 This is one you'll have to find out on your own. It's different for every couple. Some go a very long time without losing the fireworks...others peter out after a short time. It seems many divorces occur after five to seven years of marriage. In dating relationships, break ups can happen as early as a month or as far out as five years. I'm sure there is a critical area on average but, as I said, it's different for every couple. I think it's a major mistake to expect a honeymoon period at all. If you go in with the full understanding that the relationship will be an eternal work in progress...it has a lot better chance of going the distance. If you get good at relationships and you find a great partner, there's no reason a relationship can't last forever. The challenge is to find that person.
lofi_tokyo Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 Have you been in a relationship before? If you have, you should have a general notion of what a honeymoon period feels like. I think it fades over time, it doesn't just vanish suddenly. For some couples it lasts only a few months, for others it can last a few years. It really depends on the two people.
diskey23 Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 i know the period your talking about & im more about the period after. sure its great getting to know someone but i like the comfort that theyre there & i kinda know what to expect. anyway, i dated a girl that admittedly loves the honeymoon period. Out of her 7 relationships (shes only 24) theyve all lasted atleast 5 months & not more then 2 years. Its that 4-6 month period where her attitude completely changes, honest. they seem to all go south from there.
Touche Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 Diskey, trust me that's so common for a twenty-something girl. I was once one. Tony T's answer was in my opinion, the closest to reality. But durotto, as someone who has been married awhile, I wonder what you mean by the "honeymoon" period? We don't get all nervous and have butterflies around each other anymore, no. The excitement level does wax and wane. My H still excites me in all ways and I know I excite him...but it's just not at a fevered pitch all the time. I guess I'm wondering about your definition of "honeymoon period."
Joker77 Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 I prefer to call it the 90 day fantasy. It seems to fizzle out after that.
Author durotto Posted January 9, 2009 Author Posted January 9, 2009 by honeymoon period I mean when you are so strongly in love with person that you are willing to forego everything for him and all his faults and everything is seen through rose colored glasses .. when do you lose the intensity of love and just feel content to be with that person .. or you get disillusioned with that person ..
Touche Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 by honeymoon period I mean when you are so strongly in love with person that you are willing to forego everything for him and all his faults and everything is seen through rose colored glasses .. when do you lose the intensity of love and just feel content to be with that person .. or you get disillusioned with that person .. Well when I was in my 20's I guess it was about 3 months like Joker said. In my early 30's it lasted about 2 years or so. After my early 30's when I met my H, I don't know. I loved him very quickly but without the rose-colored glasses. It's still the same in that way. It's like a slow burning fire now instead of a white hot fire that burns out quickly. We do have "white hot" periods but mostly it's a slow and steadily burning fire that doesn't go out. The deep love is always there. I don't really know how to explain it. I do know that having experienced both, I'd pick the slow burning fire over the white hot quick to burn out fire. No doubt about that. Mix in the white hot fire here and there with the slow burning fire and you have a very good recipe.
seamaid Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 I'm bumping up this relatively old thread because I'm interested in this 'slow burn' concept. I'm intrigued by Touche's description of it. Does anyone else have more slow burn experiences to share? How did you know it was just as good or better than the white hot kind of burning?
carhill Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Try unrequited mutual love. 25 years and counting. The ultimate "slow burn" TBH, I think my wife and I were (at least I was) still in the honeymoon period when my mom had her stroke, so that would've been nearly 4 years after we met and 2 years after we married. Unclear how long that would've continued naturally because circumstances altered our dynamic markedly at that point. I think, if you're fortunate enough to find that person with whom you connect on an elemental level and with whom you are also compatible, the honeymoon period can last a lifetime. I'm getting a bit old to confirm or deny that assertion though
You'reasian Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Not to steal the thread topic, but how does one perpetuate the romance in a long-term relationship? Personally, I think a little time apart could be good now and then, but not to break loyalty. I think that its important for couples to keep the romance alive by treating each other as dates from time to time and just going all out with flirting and trying to find novel ways to keep each other stimulated - all while your hearts are already bonded.
carhill Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 IME, when both parties are engaged (as in emotionally engaged), playful banter, surprises, sincere empathy and highlighting moments where the ease of which partners can take each other for granted is obviated by attention to details and memories that are special to the couple. For example, I've invited some of my and my wife's friends to join us for her 50th BD party at a local restaurant she likes. We were over at her mother's yesterday and my wife mentioned to expect an invitation. I said "Yeah, it's the same place we met for our first lunch and I'll do my best to make sure she's not late like that time (with a little smirk)". She kinda looked at me with that rolleyes look (about the late part) and then the light bulb went on and she realized it's been just about 10 years since we met for the first time on a rainy day at that little restaurant. The rolleyes turned into the closest thing I've seen to a caring smile from her in recent memory. That's what I'm talking about. If things were better between us, those moments would be the glue that would continue to stick that honeymoon period in our hearts and minds. Well, one of us remembers, anyway
Author durotto Posted January 27, 2009 Author Posted January 27, 2009 I just wish that I found my one ..
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