slouse Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 My ladyfriend and I have been dating for almost 5 years with the exception of a year break brought on by her. We've been back together for 2 years and in that 2 years she's shown me very limited physical and emotional affection. I feel like we're a retired couple, although we're 20 and 21. We both work and go to school full time, so stress and energy might have something to do with it. I used to think her birth control had messed up her hormones and killed her sex drive/emotions but she got an IUD 3 months ago and absolutely nothing has changed. Our going rate for sex is about 2-3 times a month and all of those I feel are pity, it starts with like 2 minutes of kissing and then she'll say lets of sex, as to not draw it out. The only way we do it is doggy simply because she has lost all flexibility in her legs and groin and is unable to. It is not uncommon for us to go 2 weeks with no more than peck type kisses. I want to someday marry her but I in no way want to live my life in this way. I'm open to suggestions...
Trialbyfire Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 she has lost all flexibility in her legs and groin and is unable to. Maybe you could expand on why this is the case. If she's experiencing pain and/or an illness, it could greatly reduce her sex drive. Imagine experiencing back pain from an athletic injury. Do you suppose your sex drive would be going wild or do you think you might want to forgo it? Pain is weird that way.
BlueHarvest Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 From one point of view, one could view "peck-type kisses" as being on the shallow end of emotion. But from another point of view, you could view "peck-type kisses" as being a more "comfortable" kiss so to speak. Hear me out. Ever see your parents kiss when you were a kid? Did they give each other full bodies kisses, or kisses with the tongue EVERY SINGLE TIME? Hardly. Also take into account whether or not you are in public. PDA (Public Displays of Affection) wierd some people out and they are concious about it.
Miss Ting Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 You're young...perhaps its time to move on. Who wants to settle for a lifetime of lackluster passion just because it's what you're used to? You both can do better!
carhill Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 It is not uncommon for us to go 2 weeks with no more than peck type kisses. I want to someday marry her but I in no way want to live my life in this way. I'm open to suggestions... If you have discussed this with her and supported her POV and feel little or no reciprocation, especially in the area of non-sexual displays of love (physical affection), I'd say that you likely are incompatible Sorry about that...
Geishawhelk Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 Yes, as a therapist who's had surgery to her lower spine, I too would be intersted to hear more about this pelvic inflexibility..... I think that will certainly not be helping.
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