SuperFox22 Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 Hi everyone, I am still inlove with my ex. We met when I was 18 and he was 24. It started out as texting, then phone calls and then we would share a kiss on a nite out and eventually He was my 1st love and eventually when I was 20 we starting going out. We broke up after a year. He dumped me. He couldnt handle being tied down and to be honest I fell so inlove I got very clingy and Just had to be with him everywhere and phoned and texted him way too much. I did not take the break up too well and Of course I begged and pleaded the entire time until I chased him away. eventually time passed and we went back to texts and calls and meet up on and off. I wanted him back but I gave him all the benefits of having me as a girlfriend without actually being his girlfriend again. He made promises that we would get back together but we never actaully did get back together. I never gave him a break or a chance to miss me..I was afraid id lose him forever. He hates the way im obsessed with being on the phone the whole time and we could just be off the phone and Id ring again a second later :laugh: I know thats insane but iv completely lost control with the contact. I have become very needy. Now I know if i wanted him back the only way I actually had a chance was by breaking all contact. But I didnt have the power to do it. As its a new year, I finally said to him its either 100% or 0% and He told me He cant commit at the moment, he hates the way I bring it up the whole time and Hes afraid we wont work out the second time round. So he choose 0%! I cant do it though! I just want to do 60 days no contact and see what happens. Then Il know where its heading, either he come back and Il play it tough with him or he doesnt and I move on for good. I really need to be encouragement to do this 60days and to learn to be more independent. I know If I do it hel have more respect for me and more than likely come crawling back. I mad about him please help me!
audrey_1 Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 Hang in there, kiddo. I''m on day 5 and holding. Each day gets a little better. I'm writing in a journal, getting organized at home, dating again, hanging with friends, exercising. Do any and everything that interests you to pass the time, and try to go bed earlier than usual, at least until the initial phase of being emotional passes. You deserve someone's full attention, and it won't come from this guy. You are still young and there is so much in store for you. Get yourself healthy and aware so you don't miss it. More time spent on this guy is wasted. We never know what's around the corner; make every second count. Stay strong and know that it WILL get better. Time heals all. Good luck.
awesomeallalone Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 stay strong.... no contact is a fine art that takes time and practice to master but it can be done..... when you get the urge to contact just think of all the hard work you put into it and it will become easier....im on day 4 but refuse to give up after ive spent the last 4 days working so hard not to contact him.... all my hard work will be waisted.... take it one day at a time.....if he cant give you 100% hes not worth it..
IcemanJB Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 I'm on day 53 of NC. Trust me, it does get easier. Each time I think about how I've handled the breakup, I realize I have done the right thing without a doubt. Honestly thinking back over meeting/courting/asking her out, I would not have done a single thing different; sometimes the other person simply isn't ready or mature enough! I still don't know the exact reasons why she needed a breakup; actually, I don't think she does either. But you know what? I made the decision to not wait around for her while she figures herself out. Since the breakup, I've recorded my best GPA of college so far (on my hardest classload yet), already been offered a full-time position after I graduate in May, gotten LASIK done (very seriously considering the Air Force pilot route), and gotten into pretty damn good shape. I haven't seen her in almost 2 months, but I have changed so much she probably won't recognize me if I ever see her again. Of course I still miss her, as you will miss him for awhile. If you really truly care for someone, you need to let them do what's best for themselves - sometimes that means LETTING THEM GO and letting them screw up on their own. That's the philosophy I'm taking. If he says he can't give 100%, he means it. You deserve 100%, do not waste any more time talking to this guy. Stick to NC, you'll be glad you did.
Author SuperFox22 Posted January 9, 2009 Author Posted January 9, 2009 I contacted him again for closure.. Im starting my 60 days tomorrow...I know hes not worth but i cant help hoping hel come back and be mad running after me. Well Il just look after me for now anyway.. and see what happens. Ya he cant give me 100% hes not worth it but does any1 think he might one day...do they ever come back.....
IcemanJB Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 Most never do come back. But the irony of it is, if you truly want the person back, the BEST thing to do is move on and try to forget about him/her. But moving on = not wanting them back. Weird, huh? The advantage you have of choosing to move on is that you might meet that amazing person where you have 10x the connection you did with your ex.
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