Tinkerbelll Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 Awful.. I got out from his car willing to die. He broke with me 2 months ago, I went NC from then. Then we met by chance a couple of times during the holidays..I pretty much ignored him trying to show him I had moved on. Then he started calling and texting him..I never answered. Today he called me again: we decided to see each other for a coffee. Well..at the end we argued a lot, he said he called me just to be friends: I asked him to NEVER EVER CONTACT me again.. It was so hurtful.. I know everything is over now. I agree: better not to break NC, but today I really realized is over. I don't want to know anything from him from now on.
audrey_1 Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 I am very sorry this happened, but now you know what you have to do for YOU. Stay strong and move on. Give it time. The feelings will subside and you'll be a little better each day. I'm doing the same thing. Last night, I went back and read all my journals. There was some good stuff in there I had forgotten, and "lessons" from relationships I had documented, that I realized I STILL hadn't taken to heart and been applying to my relationships going forward. I am going to break the pattern. Try keeping a journal, writing down your thoughts or what you might say to him given another opportunity. Do anything you can to keep your mind and body healthy. This will quicken your healing process. Hang in there. It will just take some time, but now you know that it's truly over. Take some solace in having that clarity and try not to let it cloud your thoughts anymore. There will be a next time, and it will be so much better you'll wonder why you wasted your time and care on this guy.
Author Tinkerbelll Posted January 8, 2009 Author Posted January 8, 2009 The thing is that during these months I somehow still had the false hope we could eventually go back together. But tonight I was there, in his car and I saw things clearly: he never really missed me, he wasn't thinking of going back together..It was just a game for him, he could just not stand the fact that I was ignoring him since I always said how much I loved him. This is the classical cold shower! And at the end he was even showing COMPASSION towards me like "try to move on, be happy etc.." It was so stupid answering his call: he deserves nothing. I am committed to go NC forever from now.
audrey_1 Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 That sounds like a good idea. There will be ups and downs while you're healing, but just ignore ANY thoughts of reaching out to him whatsoever. Don't do it. You're not his crutch or ego boost. You deserve better. I will remember your experience if, and when, I get a call or text or whatever asking me to meet up. I will refuse so this doesn't happen to me, and I know that it would.
durotto Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 Why oh why did you talk to him ? I am sorry for you ... I just have stopped talking with my ex .. don't talk .. if they want to be in a relationship with us let them crawl back .. I am sorry that you had to go and have coffee with him .. but maybe you should have been blunt and asked "Ok coffee, but what do you want out of it ? Do you want to come back to me ?" Am I too blunt ?
durotto Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 Why oh why did you talk to him ? I am sorry for you ... I just have stopped talking with my ex .. don't talk .. if they want to be in a relationship with us let them crawl back .. I am sorry that you had to go and have coffee with him .. but maybe you should have been blunt and asked "Ok coffee, but what do you want out of it ? Do you want to come back to me ?" Am I too blunt ?
Author Tinkerbelll Posted January 8, 2009 Author Posted January 8, 2009 Well I don't know..I did really want to hear what he wanted. Day to day thinking, wondering, guessing..for nothing. I always thought about BS like "he has many problems, he doesn't know how to express his feelings etc.." The truth is that he DOESN'T LOVE ME. I can't even blame him..That's how it is and the sooner I realize it, the best.
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