Author CrashLanded87 Posted January 9, 2009 Author Posted January 9, 2009 yeah... Im not trying to be like that... Im DEFINITELY not that type of dude.... I basically just talk to her really... Nothing intimate/stupid really... I mean... I joke a lot.... And she knows that... So during work... I'd be like "You know I'm the man, and you would kill to have me" and then proceed to lmao... And then she will bust out laughing and say "Um, no" and laugh again and throw a joke back... About like how i am stupid... or something like that.... So I'm really not crossing any boundaries correct?
mr.dream merchant Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 Nah not really but the intimacy is there whether you'd like it to be or not. It really isn't on you. Play it cool man, she has a BF. Just keep doing what you do. If she slips up and makes a move, put the brakes on that broad and tell her to ease up cause you don't sit well with unfaithful birds.
Author CrashLanded87 Posted January 9, 2009 Author Posted January 9, 2009 i guess... i just dont wanna be the homewrecker... I dont need a 2 year relationship on my conscience... I guess it's one of those... "Build the bridge, and if they want, they will come" type deals here...
sand26 Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 I love dating girls with boyfriends. The boyfriend does all the pesky work: Long talks about her emotions, solving her problems, paying for holiday gifts, meeting the parents, providing non stop flattery. I basically just get the good stuff: sex, laughs, discreet and simple fun. See, most these women are in relationships with whiny little boys; jealous, possessive, and controlling. I simply present an open door policy with none of the possessive crazy things these girls need to tolerate all day long and they are grateful. You should date this girl, who cares if she has a boyfriend... it will be more fun for you. just use a condom dude. VK
Author CrashLanded87 Posted January 9, 2009 Author Posted January 9, 2009 Lol even so my friend... there is still no definitive proof this girl has it for me...
Author CrashLanded87 Posted January 9, 2009 Author Posted January 9, 2009 thanks for the input so far guys... a lot of help and things i can think about... your guys' input is greatly appreciated... and if there is anything more to be said.... by all means...
musicmaker Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 Don't date a coworker. Just because it's a cliche doesn't mean it it's not true. If things go well between you, it'll make for an awkward workplace, and if they don't go well for you, it'll make the workplace so awkward one or both of you will just want to quit. And yes, I do speak from experience. I'm not even gonna concern myself with the "she already has a boyfriend" part, just don't romantically pursue a coworker.
kashmir Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 Don't date a coworker. Just because it's a cliche doesn't mean it it's not true. If things go well between you, it'll make for an awkward workplace, and if they don't go well for you, it'll make the workplace so awkward one or both of you will just want to quit. And yes, I do speak from experience. I'm not even gonna concern myself with the "she already has a boyfriend" part, just don't romantically pursue a coworker. If it was in an office or more professional setting I'd agree, but he's 18 and most likely working a more casual job like a store or restaurant. I'm his age and work in restaurants, and let me just say that there's a lot more going on there besides just casual dating. I respect you for wanting a relationship, OP. Personally, I'd like one too, but I take hook-ups with girls I find attractive if I get the opportunity. I guess that's where we differ.
musicmaker Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 If it was in an office or more professional setting I'd agree, but he's 18 and most likely working a more casual job like a store or restaurant. I'm his age and work in restaurants, and let me just say that there's a lot more going on there besides just casual dating. You might be right about the age, but a workplace is a workplace. Just because it'd be easier or more expected for someone to leave (in the event that something goes wrong) doesn't really make it any easier.
Author CrashLanded87 Posted January 10, 2009 Author Posted January 10, 2009 yeah i work in a Gas Station with a Food Place in the back... I'm a cashier there and she is a Food person.... And, here's an update... She does Cosmetology at school... and i brought up that i wanted a haircut, forgetting that she does that... And she said she wants to cut my hair tomorrow... oh boy
Author CrashLanded87 Posted January 12, 2009 Author Posted January 12, 2009 Okay... On Wednesday, she is planning on taking me to her Cosmetology wing of the local Vocational School... because she is hellbent on cutting my hair now... and weather postponed it from Saturday.... I dunno what to expect/do...
Bri754 Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 Ever seen her boyfriend? Is he a chump? Maybe he deserves it, and because of her behavior so does she! It's a double whammy! Just kidding... kinda... Seriously, it's not as black and white as the early posters make it seem. My best friend got with his girl (they are very happy) in a similar situation. We are all capable of convincing ourselves that we are happy in a certain situation, when in fact we are not (we realize this when someone else shows us). Unfortunately, you cant be the one to gauge this; it's not your place. So, you probably SHOULD stand back and let her know that your aware of, and have no intention of interfering with, her relationship, as has been mentioned. Then it'll be her choice... Would it be wrong of you if she left him for you? No Wrong of her? Id say no, people do it all the time... Minds change, that is the unfortunate reality, and at age 18, you don't need to worry so much about it. I think it's dumb to be in a 2 year relationship at that age anyway. I did it, and it ****ed me up forever because the girl was messed up and I didn't know what I was doing... I now have trust and jealousy issues, and she's addicted to meth and heroin but thats a whole 'nother story... If your interested there's nothing wrong with a little hope for the future. The early posters must never watch "The Office" (Jim and Pam). "Don't ever get involved with a co-worker"... yeah right. Don't listen to that BS. Life's not like that. You have to follow your heart. Some of my best experiences were at restaurants with a whole-lotta co-workers.
Geishawhelk Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 Okay... On Wednesday, she is planning on taking me to her Cosmetology wing of the local Vocational School... because she is hellbent on cutting my hair now... and weather postponed it from Saturday.... I dunno what to expect/do... I actually thought we'd sorted this out..... You do have a problem, don't you?
Author CrashLanded87 Posted January 12, 2009 Author Posted January 12, 2009 Ever seen her boyfriend? Is he a chump? Maybe he deserves it, and because of her behavior so does she! It's a double whammy! Just kidding... kinda... Seriously, it's not as black and white as the early posters make it seem. My best friend got with his girl (they are very happy) in a similar situation. We are all capable of convincing ourselves that we are happy in a certain situation, when in fact we are not (we realize this when someone else shows us). Unfortunately, you cant be the one to gauge this; it's not your place. So, you probably SHOULD stand back and let her know that your aware of, and have no intention of interfering with, her relationship, as has been mentioned. Then it'll be her choice... Would it be wrong of you if she left him for you? No Wrong of her? Id say no, people do it all the time... Minds change, that is the unfortunate reality, and at age 18, you don't need to worry so much about it. I think it's dumb to be in a 2 year relationship at that age anyway. I did it, and it ****ed me up forever because the girl was messed up and I didn't know what I was doing... I now have trust and jealousy issues, and she's addicted to meth and heroin but thats a whole 'nother story... If your interested there's nothing wrong with a little hope for the future. The early posters must never watch "The Office" (Jim and Pam). "Don't ever get involved with a co-worker"... yeah right. Don't listen to that BS. Life's not like that. You have to follow your heart. Some of my best experiences were at restaurants with a whole-lotta co-workers. Ah, thank you.... reading this was actually quite comforting... Makes a lot of sense... I actually thought we'd sorted this out..... You do have a problem, don't you? Yeah sorta, i guess....
Geishawhelk Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 Yeah sorta, i guess.... Cast your mind back, my little petunia petal...... .Ah, yes, I see. her initiating half of it, has obviously deprived you of the ability to make a conscious choice to not do this. And your starting the other 50% must be the other mitigating factor. What YOU do is YOUR choice. She's not holding a gun to your head and making you respond this way. You're choosing to play into it...... You shouldn't be sitting anywhere near this at all. And yes, the fact that you are showing more interest in her than is advisable, is a way of getting something to happen. Hopefully, to your advantage. Ever fantasised about her?..... Then it should be no problem for you to not text her at all, right? But of course, that's not what you want. Things always happen for a reason, don't they? Mainly in this case, that you fancy her and want to get a leg-over. If you can outright completely deny that and declare it totally and wholly false, I'll back off. Ah, thank you.... reading this was actually quite comforting... Makes a lot of sense.. Hmmm... makes a lot of sense.....So, if at our first few posts, you'd actually listened to me instead of justifying your role and sentiments, we wouldn't actually be in this pit now, would we? It's still not too late you know..
Author CrashLanded87 Posted January 13, 2009 Author Posted January 13, 2009 Yeah, I understand all that... And the fact that breaking them up is wrong, and scumbaggish... Also, from all these other posts.... I've heard... It's wrong to date co-workers... but I've also heard it doesn't matter... I've also heard that doing what im doing is wrong... but what I'm doing is justifiable if I like her.... Everything I've been told... has been disproven or disencouraged from other posts... I dunno... I guess I am just confused...
nittanylion Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 I think you want a relationship with her. I think its wrong for u to interfere with their relationship directly or indirectly. In your twisted mind, I know you cant wait for her to break up her relationship so she can be with you. Why do have to make thing so complicate for youself in order to have a potential triangle relationship? Do you want to get your heartbroken? Just lay her off man. Find someone who is single. You are still young and have plently of oppty to find love.
mr.dream merchant Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 Yeah, I understand all that... And the fact that breaking them up is wrong, and scumbaggish... Also, from all these other posts.... I've heard... It's wrong to date co-workers... but I've also heard it doesn't matter... I've also heard that doing what im doing is wrong... but what I'm doing is justifiable if I like her.... Everything I've been told... has been disproven or disencouraged from other posts... I dunno... I guess I am just confused... You know, I work with a guy just like you. He's really close friends with this girl, our co-worker, and secretly he wishes that she'd leave her boyfriend for him. Do you want me to fast forward the picture for you and show you how you'll end up? He is miserable. He's spent so much time being hopeful that she'd leave her BF for him. Not only time but money on this girl to. And she doesn't look at him as anything more than a friend. Now he's **** out of luck because he's so invested emotion wise into this girl that he can't look back. Steer away from it man. Don't invest your feelings into a taken girl because you'll only get hurt. I've been there before but I never let it get to serious. You don't wanna be that guy who wants someone he can't have, true story man, its not fun. Just think about what I said.
dreamergrl Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 Ah, thank you.... reading this was actually quite comforting... Makes a lot of sense... OP I think you're looking for someone to say it's okay to move in on this girl, when clearly it's not. She has a boyfriend. I doubt you'd want another man moving in on your relationship.
Geishawhelk Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 ... I dunno... I guess I am just confused... No, you're not confused. You're just frustrated because you know which way is right. You just wish it would shaddup and let you listen to the "wrong" side of the discussion, and let you get on with it. But the secondary frustrating thing is, that she's yanking your chain and you don't know which way is up. Do yourself a favour. Back off and move away.
D-Jam Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 Any advice? Or comments...? I stopped thinking deeply on this when I saw the title "Except... She has a Boyfriend..." Face it, you're not going to get this girl. She's got a man, so either friendzone her and look for a single girl...or cut ties and look for a single girl. 1
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