angpang Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 O.k. I am going to make this long but short. First of all I have been in this relationship with my Best male friend for 3 years the first year we were only friend there was no sex, no kissing, not even a hug goodbye. The second year it turned into a relationship that never went anywhere the only problem is I can't get him out of my life and this is why. After the many times of making the choice that because all we were going to be was friends and no more sex, kissing or anything. Which meant we could not be alone anymore because everytime we where we ended up having sex or making out. We spend everyday for 9 months with each other, talking on the phone and if i wasn't with him I was hanging out with his Aunt who turned out to become one of my dearest friend. Finally this relationship ended with me being tried of it. I moved away and started my own life, because I was frends with his aunt who he lived with and still good friends with him I would come to visit alot. One thing would leads to another and we would ened up having sex and we were still spending every night I was gone on the phone talking for hours. Then it happened I started dating, I began daring a guy he was pretty nice but I come home one weekend spend it with my friend and the next thing i know I am telling him I love him and we are back in each others arms. Well he still would not have a relationship with me so I took a long break from him. No more visits home and less and less calls and then one day walking down a city street I run into this group of guy and we all start talking and one of the guys who is now my boyfriend we hit it off. We start dating he does everything for me takes me out buys me clothes, make-up, get my haircut, takes me on weekend trips and he just loves me like crazy, but the only person I seem to still have on my mind is my friend the one that lives a state away. I have no idea what to do I have amazing man who loves me and cares about me, but my friend the one I have been having this realtionship with for years is the one I am truly in love with and I don't know what to do? I am confused? Even my boyfreind makes comments about how my friend and I are in love with each. How we better figure it out soon because everyone else can see it. I don't know what to do? My boyfriend that i have now wants to move in with me and marry me one and I do love him and I feel like why not marry him it's not like anything is ever going to happen with my friend and I, but then I am worried what if one day somethings happen and I cheat. I can't be alone with my friend i can't even be in the same rooms as him with out both of us wanting to run out the door? Someone help me what do I do??????
Geishawhelk Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 You break up with your current BF, because nowhere in your post do you actually say you're in love with him too. You just say you love him, as a kind of throwaway line, and how amazing he is to do all these things for you, which is using him really, if you admit it. You love the attention. I don't think you really love him, or number one would be history. Secondly, you actually sit down with guy number one and either agree to have a relationship but have counselling, because there are some unresolved issues here, or you agree once and for all it's got to stop - and you stop it, point blank, end of story, legs closed, once and for all. Nobody holds a gun to your head to make you have sex with him. You do it because you want to. Now go.
Yamaha Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 You're not over your friend so you can't really move on and be with your current BF. Just because you want sex with him doesn't mean he is the right one so you need to reslove this relationship before getting involved with a new guy. Your current BF is classified as a rebound guy.
Untouchable_Fire Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 Well he still would not have a relationship with me so I took a long break from him. No more visits home and less and less calls and then one day walking down a city street I run into this group of guy and we all start talking and one of the guys who is now my boyfriend we hit it off. Wise up! Your FWB treats you like a casual thing because he has no feelings for you. Your just an easy roll in the hay. That is why he wont date you seriously. Why do you love someone who does not love you? Do you think he will one day wake up and be in love with you? Even if he did... why would you want him after all these years of emotional rejection? It's time for you to choose what you want in a man. Do you want a guy that loves you? Or do you want a guy that thinks your easy sex? Your choice.
O'Malley Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 My eyes are crying out for paragraph breaks, but back on topic: It will be impossible to be friends only with your ex because you want to date him again and yet you're accepting of the crumbs he's willing to give you. The only possible way to get him to want a relationship with you again is to stop giving him attention; how will he know what he's missing by not being with you if you're always giving him attention? Make it clear that it's a relationship you want, not friendship or fwb. If that isn't what he wants you either accept the status quo or be prepared to walk away from him completely. You seem to enjoy your current boyfriend mostly for what he does for you and how he makes you feel. If your ex was to want a relationship with you right now you'd likely throw this new guy over in a heartbeat. If you don't think you can be faithful to him then break up with him.
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