Author nana yaw II Posted January 9, 2009 Author Posted January 9, 2009 Seriously, being a bit boring isn't much of a problem IF you're a genuine and kind person and you are somewhat intelligent. Boring could be a lifestyle or a way of expressing yourself or just the way you think. There are many ways to be boring, some of which can be changed. I like lively guys, but I'd much rather have someone shy, quiet and dependable than someone who's all show and no substance. i think shy and quiet people suck. i know that sounds bad, but it's true imo. shy and quiet isn't for me any more. i know i sound self-pitying, but thanks everyone for their comments anyhow.
amaysngrace Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 i think by changing how you think and how you react to things. Yeah you know I looked it up and it can be done if you change from pessimistic to optimistic. That can change your personality. It says if you are open to change then you become an optimist and if you are reluctant to change you will remain a pessimist. It sounds promising for you if you really want to change.
crosswordfiend Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 agree. If a guy is really witty and funny or has money or some form of power he can make up for what he may lack in the looks department. Actually, my point was that women filter just as harshly based on appearance as do men. They just do it in a different manner. While men do go for the most attractive ones overall, women fixate on a particular set of features, be it eyes, strong jaw, broad shoulders etc... and go deeper into that pool of men. Since some of these men may not be as objectively attractive, this gives the appearance that women are not as superficial about looks, whereas in reality they are just as picky.
runner Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 I'm in the process of changing my personality, since i know people who are dull get no dates. do most people go for men who are dull? when i am outgoing, would this improve my chances? some people will find you dull and some will be intrigued by you. thats just how it is. it kind of sounds like you just want to please everyone, and to me, thats unattractive. so in effect, you're not really changing anything.
Isolde Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 I disagree. I think girls are just as superficial. The distinction is that they are particular in a different way. You can be ugly but still have a set of features that a girl is looking for and be in. I do agree with this. Even the girls who date ugly guys are attracted to those ugly guys: their money, charisma, even their quirky looks. Guys stick more to conventional looks but that doesn't mean they're necessarily more picky. It's a fact that guys who are poor, plain and quiet will have a harder time than someone rich, lively and plain, but I've seen plenty of those types with girlfriends, so...
Adamagnet Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 I disagree. I think girls are just as superficial. The distinction is that they are particular in a different way. Agreed. I hypothesize that superficiality is directly correlated to the individual's perceived level of attractiveness, regardless of sex. You can be ugly but still have a set of features that a girl is looking for and be in. You can't juxtapose your subjective definition of ugly with that of a woman's because if she finds those sets of features appealing, he will be inherently not ugly to her.
Author nana yaw II Posted January 9, 2009 Author Posted January 9, 2009 some people will find you dull and some will be intrigued by you. thats just how it is. it kind of sounds like you just want to please everyone, and to me, thats unattractive. so in effect, you're not really changing anything. most people please everybody. i know a lot of people, who while obviously not everybody is attracted to them, more often than not they get somebody to be attracted to them. there's a family friend of mine who, in honesty, is a bit ditzy and some for this reason may consider her dull. but she still gets dates. i know i'm at fault, so i have to change my personality for the better.
lovestruck818 Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 That's BS. Lots of ugly guys out there who get plenty of girls. Why? Because they're self-confident and fun to be around with. well, but do they get as many girls as the guy who are good-looking and also self-confident and fun to be around? I would bet not.
Isolde Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 Agreed. I hypothesize that superficiality is directly correlated to the individual's perceived level of attractiveness, regardless of sex. Actually, I've always found that perfect-10 men and women tend not to go for perfect-10 partners.
Adamagnet Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 Actually, I've always found that perfect-10 men and women tend not to go for perfect-10 partners. Addressing the trait of attractiveness from an external standpoint, doesn't get at the crux of my hypothesis. Their subjective evaluation on how attractive they perceive themselves could be radically different from yours. Not only that but, there's certainly a limited number of 10s out there. Hypothetical: If one of the 10s mentioned above only dated 9s, would you consider them superficial? Either way, there's the definite possibility I am extenuating other factors that could contribute to superficiality, like class, culture, or the contrast effect.
MN randomguy Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 Actually, I've always found that perfect-10 men and women tend not to go for perfect-10 partners. I'd say this too. If every compliment that you've gotten in your life is based on looks. You tend to think looks are pretty important. Think of someone who is an academic powerhouse. They'll tell everyone how important education is. Its a comfortable thing to believe.
wierdmunky Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 I don't know if met anyone dull. If I spent enough time with them, there was always something i found interesting or fun. Idk if I'd like a super outgoing guy anyway either. Especially the ones that just like being the center of attention all the time in a big group. It would get me feeling all competitive for his attention. And if you want to be outgoing, I think it is all found in a good positive attitude. You would want to to do more good things, like talk to everyone, make them laugh and enjoy their company.
D-Lish Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 I dated an extremely dull dude for a whole year. That was a time when I was feeling really bad about myself.... he was only average in the looks department too, and didn't like sex. To top it off- he was super critical of women- when he spoke about women in general his face would contort and he's bare his teeth. He was that bad... What about you makes you think you're dull?
Shygirl15 Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 Honestly, call me shallow i don't care...if a guy is smoking hot and has a crappy personality, I would date him in a heartbeat. If he is the nicest guy but he isn't so great looking, not a chance. Truthfully, looks have more to do with it than personality...IMO. That's VERY shallow. Looks fade away with years, personality doesn't.
TwilightSky Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 That's VERY shallow. Looks fade away with years, personality doesn't. I wouldn't say that is always true, either. But the people who say that, won't always be attractive to other people. It seems some of the pickiest people I know have no real reason to be such, and they are just wasting their time. SOME can get by with that however.
lovestruck818 Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 That's VERY shallow. Looks fade away with years, personality doesn't. Personality can change just as much looks can...as well as I believe personality changes can be dependant on looks. 2 years ago I was 40lbs heavier and the nicest person ever. Now, I am thin and hot and I have become shallow and more selective in who I choose to date. I'm not willing to date the people I was once willing to date.
Wicked Child Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 Honestly, call me shallow i don't care...if a guy is smoking hot and has a crappy personality, I would date him in a heartbeat. If he is the nicest guy but he isn't so great looking, not a chance. Truthfully, looks have more to do with it than personality...IMO. I really hope you never breed. Really hope.
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