Trialbyfire Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 kashmir, it can't hurt to be looked at and rediagnosed. Check out this article which includes a reference to a book, in the last paragraph. http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2007-07-23-adult-diagnosis_N.htm
zenith Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 Dear LS shrinks can you all leave the poor guy alone now? and continue your psychological discussions/diagnostic debate somewhere else thank you PS. Kashmir, there is nothing wrong with you, bro
Trialbyfire Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 Dear LS shrinks can you all leave the poor guy alone now? and continue your psychological discussions/diagnostic debate somewhere else thank you PS. Kashmir, there is nothing wrong with you, bro Kashmir was the one who stated he has Aspergers, not the local LS shrinks. If anything, everyone else is suggesting that he get rediagnosed.
zenith Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 Kashmir was the one who stated he has Aspergers, not the local LS shrinks. If anything, everyone else is suggesting that he get rediagnosed. yeah, I know but Kashmir doesn't need to get re-diagnosed... he can live his own life (he is normal!) and IF he is having difficulties, he can choose to see a mental health professional, himself he doesn't need LS shrink referral
Star Gazer Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 yeah, I know but Kashmir doesn't need to get re-diagnosed... he can live his own life (he is normal!) and IF he is having difficulties, he can choose to see a mental health professional, himself he doesn't need LS shrink referral He IS having difficulties, that's why he started this thread.... is it not?
zenith Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 He IS having difficulties, that's why he started this thread.... is it not? NO he is not end of discussion
Star Gazer Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 He IS having difficulties, that's why he started this thread.... is it not? NO he is not end of discussion Oh really? Hmph: People ask me what my problem is, but I don't know. I've always avoided this one thing, though, because I've always been afraid that it's the problem. Does anyone have any experience or knowledge with dating with a condition like mine? I feel like no matter what I do I have this invisible barrier around me that repels girls. Sounds like he's looking for insight/guidance/opinions/etc. to me...?
zenith Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 that was his first post he is a young guy, facing various situations in the REAL WORLD which can be overwhelming for some there is no reason to directly link his situation (anxiety) to any mental condition at this point he just needs to relax, he will learn to deal with different circumstances on his own
D-Lish Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 yeah, I know but Kashmir doesn't need to get re-diagnosed... he can live his own life (he is normal!) and IF he is having difficulties, he can choose to see a mental health professional, himself he doesn't need LS shrink referral People ask questions here Z. They post- people answer. Everyone is trying to help- and if you read things correctly, most are saying "get a second opinion". LS is kinda like a trailer park shrink. He asked...
Star Gazer Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 there is no reason to directly link his situation (anxiety) to any mental condition at this point I'm really confused then, because I could have sworn that the title of this thread and the entire subject matter of the OP was linking his dating anxiety to his depression and/or AS, and his request for help in handling the situation. But maybe I'm missing something.
D-Lish Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 Oh really? Hmph: Sounds like he's looking for insight/guidance/opinions/etc. to me...? OH... well I guess this is the end of the discussion SG..... we've been told! Lol.
Lovelybird Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 Do not label youself with a sticker. that will only limit yourself Each person is growing, especially you are young now with vast potentials. Instead of thinking of what is wrong with yourself all the time, it is more constructive to meditate WHAT would you like to become. What you concentrate on will become reality what you feed your mind what you would become Power of mind and belief. There is a good book "battle field of mind" by Joyce Meyer, it can be life changing
Trialbyfire Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 kashmir, here's an article about Aspergers and sexual relationships. http://www.autism-adults.org/adults-aspergers-sexual.htm
Lovelybird Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 thanks zenith recently phychological analysis remind me a funny story A person go to work as usual, humming a song, with a smile he entered his office. His one of colleague said to him, "are you ok?" he said "yes, I am ok", then in his heart he thought what made him ask such question. Then came another colleague, asked him "you don't look like well today." then he thought to himself "maybe". then his boss came by said to him "are you ill?" then this poor man panicked, "what's wrong with me? I have to go home and lie down". A perfect healthy man became ill because of doubts another amazing facts, 95% disease and illness come from our mind, born from our mind, how we think what we think, this is a result of scientific research. and this is in book "who swifched off my brain", amazing !
OpenBook Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 another amazing facts, 95% disease and illness come from our mind, born from our mind, how we think what we think, this is a result of scientific research. and this is in book "who swifched off my brain", amazing ! Yes, that is amazing. I'll remember that the next time I get a cold. "Ach, I switched off my brain again!"
OpenBook Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 I'm very glad you see it that way. I'm reluctant to speak of my condition because people tend to make blanket generalizations based on what they read about it, kinda like what SG did here. Mental conditions are very individualized, and while people with the same condition tend to show similarities, everyone is different. You can't make an assumption about a symptom until you actually observe it. Kashmir, if there's one thing you can take away from this thread, it's that everybody is f*cked-up in their own way. You've made quite a few very discerning observations in your posts that I've seen so far, and that's a bit surprising to me, coming from someone so young! I hope you don't discount yourself or consider yourself crippled by AS or any other problem you think you might have. You are so much more than that. The name of the game - for everyone - is to play on one's strengths instead of putting a spotlight on the weaknesses.
torranceshipman Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 With schizophrenia, aspergers and this emotional wall you say you've put up after years of getting hurt - believe me, you will be projecting something as a result of a lot of this that is likely to be really hurting your dating chances. Generically you sound like a nice guy and a decent catch - its the way you're coming over thats the problem, but without knowing you its hard to say. Could be that the aspergers is causing you to not read specific signals or communicate in a particular way with regard to those flirting/date-type interactions. I am sure you have a lot of empathy, but in THESE specific situations it might be an issue. One of my best mates is aspergic and honestly, she ha big issues with dating! Bless her, she;'s lovely but its like she just doesnt pick up on some stuff that maybe I'd expect her to. Could also be that you are just experiencing a lot of the sucky dating stuff that everyone experiences....(this board is full of R trauma, of course!! It could be that you are quite intense in a dating situation? Also if girls know about your conditions this might put them off (people can be ignorant about these things) - but hold out for the lovely girl that likes you genuinely for who you are then you'll get over that. Do you have male and female friends wh could give you a really honest viewpoint on all of this?
Author kashmir Posted January 10, 2009 Author Posted January 10, 2009 To everyone saying I should get re-diagnosed - I honestly don't see what good that will do me. I've said that some doctors have told me I have AS and others said that I don't. The point isn't whether I satisfy the diagnosis or not, it's that I DO have SOME characteristics of AS. My most recent diagnosis, which was less than a year ago, was paranoid schizophrenia and not AS. This was a doctor who wasn't a specialist in autism, though, as many others were. Zenith actually makes a good point. I could possibly not have a problem at all. This could all be in my head. I don't want to over think things, and I know that I started off this thread saying that my symptoms of AS were a problem and schizophrenia wasn't, but maybe it's the other way around. AS caused me a lot of issues in the past, but I'm not horribly shy anymore and really don't show many of the evident social restraints like not knowing social cues and lacking empathy. What I do know is sometimes I feel like everyone is judging me and against me. I feel that girls have this big network, where if one dislikes me then they'll spread the word and I'll end up being screwed. I feel like girls just use guys and me in particular for ego boosts and not actually want to connect to me or desire me. When I get really depressed I'll have things telling me to give up this life and any chance of love or happiness and just run away and become somewhat of a wanderer or vagabond. I don't feel these things all the time, but sometimes I do.
carhill Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 . I feel like girls just use guys and me in particular for ego boosts and not actually want to connect to me or desire me. OP, this is normal. It's what women do. It never changes. The key is to recognize it for what it is, accept it and to save your energy and interest for those who don't choose this path. Instead of lamenting "they treat me bad", say, instead, "ah, they're incompatible. That's OK" and "Next".
V.Vixen Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 Do not label youself with a sticker. that will only limit yourself Each person is growing, especially you are young now with vast potentials. Instead of thinking of what is wrong with yourself all the time, it is more constructive to meditate WHAT would you like to become. What you concentrate on will become reality what you feed your mind what you would become Power of mind and belief. There is a good book "battle field of mind" by Joyce Meyer, it can be life changing The mind is powerful.... change of your thought process could lead to a much bigger change. Nice post, lovelybird!
amaysngrace Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 I hope you don't discount yourself or consider yourself crippled by AS or any other problem you think you might have. You are so much more than that. The name of the game - for everyone - is to play on one's strengths instead of putting a spotlight on the weaknesses. I agree with this as well. Kashmir, you have a very good grip on who you are at such a young age and that is very impressive. Wanting to have even more insight into yourself is also quite impressive. You seem very bright to me. Much older than your years would imply. You seem to be a deep thinker, not shallow and superficial. Sometimes it takes a while for the EQ to catch up with the IQ. Seeing how young you are it would not surprise me at all if you will have your act together in just a few short years. You're already ahead of many people nearly double your age. You aren't even fully developed yet. You do realize that don't you? Even physically you are still growing. Your body is producing more cells than it is killing off. Be patient young squire. You may still outgrow this adolescent illness you have been labled with. It happens.
marlena Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 Amaysngrace is right. I was absolutely stunned to read that you are only nineteen years old. You have a brain that many thirty year olds would envy. The world needs more minds like yours. As for your diagnosis, I'd be weary of this trend that insists on sticking a label to every type of personality there is under the sun. Traits and emotions that were once deemed normal now all get thrown into this or that disorder bin. I don't buy it for a second. Perhaps psychology is trying to embrace a larger market to sell its products. Anyway, I truly believe that with the years will come maturity and self-confidence. and that one day you will be quite a catch. Patience. It takes some people longer than others to believe in themselves.
Author kashmir Posted January 10, 2009 Author Posted January 10, 2009 I think the best advice here is for me to be patient and have some hope. That's also the best therapy. I mean, part of me wants to be that guy who gets a lot of attention from beautiful girls and can date around, but that isn't me now. Maybe I can have that luxury later on sometime, but right now that isn't me. I think I'll do my best to forget about the fact that I'm in college and this is apparently the best time of my life to meet girls. I have some other things to think about anyway (like better grades). I'll do my best to have faith that things will improve after college, but MAYBE something might come sooner than that.
Storyrider Posted January 10, 2009 Posted January 10, 2009 There are lots of women who aren't necessarily looking for a conventional relationship with a conventional guy. There will come a time when your differences will be assets as opposed to liabilities, but it will probably be when you are more comfortable in your own skin. Also, the women you're meeting are immature and maybe shallow as a result of the mob mentality in college. I think your idea of giving yourself time is right on. Think of yourself as a fine wine that takes longer to reach it's peak!
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