yuniel Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 Im not sure how easy to understand I can put this but I was dating this girl for 1 year and two months we got engaged at 8 months we were super happy we spent every day together and shared something that we've both never shared with others. we have both loved others befor but said it was nothing like what we were feeling. after our 1 year we started arguing over stupid things and she would hit me it got to the point were i would tell her to stop and to control her anger problems. after 4 months i felt it was too much and i wasnt too happy. So i ended it n like the next week tried finding somebody she was still by my side and would keep talking to me and would still be my friend even though she was hurt. I ended up meeting some girl quick but i never really had my mind of my ex and i would try to force her out n even when i was with the other girl it didnt work. so i left the other girl alone and would still hang out with my ex and it would be as if we never broke up. after a couple months i started going out with some girl she introduced me to and when i told her she went crazy and was hurt and would cry but me still being hurt i didnt listen. Now my ex would still be there even sometimes supported me but again during the time i was with the new girl me and my ex would be like we didnt break up so she would still cry out to me because she wanted to be with me. and she would start fights at school and even hit me at my house she hit me so much it got to the point when one day i hit back. i regret it but she sort of turned me into someone i never was or wana be we started having physical fights when things got really crazy..after 3 months with my new gf i started realizing the person i truelly wanted to be with was m y ex she was still the one who own my heart and although i was happy with my new one i couldnt give her what i had given my ex. so i broke up with my current girlfriend and maintain friends because she sort of understood i still had a lot of love left. sincethe girl i wanted to be with was always around and never dated no one because she had so much love for me i tried sort of pursuing something but when she would want to talk about things i didnt and when i did she didnt and it went like that for 2 years . we would always still be like if wwe never broke up but we never got back together officially and recently about 2 motnhs ago we got into a big fight at my house. ( ive been staying at her house with her parents and her brothers for 3 months she is 18 out of highschool and i just turned 21 ) and we havent hit each other in a long time and we sort of been working things out really good for a week befor this fight. but in this fight she hit me and for the first time i punched her. n i closed my room door and was in shocked. she didnt talked to me that day and the next day I tried talking to her but she wouldnt she just said she doesnt love me no more and that she has realized that I dont care about her and that she doesnt wana go through the same things as her mom. (her dad hit her mom )a week later i find out from her phone that she strated talking to some boy at her job which she denied at first then said yeah. when i asked why she said thst hes nice to her and tells her nice things, but she said it like if she was hurt and wanted love. we would rarely talk a lot and when we would i would just talk about us and she wouldnt want to she try to avoid it and leave me hanging. On thanksgiving she invited me to her house just for a little bit and befor i left the boy she was talking bout showed up out of nowhere then she told me thats was him by now it had been 10 days after that last fight. she told me she had started talking to the boy the day after the fight. She had been telling me befor that night that she did love me just little bit and that she wanted to be with me just night right now. that night i found out she had started to date him the night befor.. when i asked her befor i left if she was his gf she said no right to my face then 5 min later she said yes and that she had kiss him. when i asked why she had lied to me after she promised she wouldnt she said because ive done it.I was so hurt and she told me loud enough for him to hear i want to be with him and not you. i started asking questions and she wouldnt answer and after me holding her from being with him so long she tells me i just told you I wanted to be with you because thats what you wanted to hear. Now i left her a lone for about a week because she told me she never wanted to speak to me again. i texted her and she texted back but i asked to be friends and she said that she couldnt. I tried again 2 weeks alter and she said the same thing . ive told her im hurting and tried showing her that i do care but she seems not to care. I asked he r3 weeks after our fight if she loved me and she said no. i said so you forgot about our 3 years andd she said yes. now she had been pregnant 2 times for 4 months each n hadd an abortion the first time and a miscariage the second i asked if she forgot bout that too and she said yes. after the last one only being 5 months befor all this. I even asked her what bout you wanting to be with me again she said she changed her mind. i even asked her if she ever loved me again and she said no andd that there will never be a future between us.. .she is someone who I love and have tried to look past her wrongs please give me some advice because its almost 3 months now and I still care about her and think of her daily. and she just makes me feel like she doesnt care or think of me at all. one thing i left out 5 days ago i texted her tryin to find out what the reason for her not loving was and she just kep saying because I dont. she just kept saying because i dont love you anymore. so then i asked why she kept the engagemeneet rings and now she told me that because they were hers but they had no value to her. after the fight i had asked for them and she said no because she wanted them as memory. so i asked her 5 days ago to give them back then and she first said i would but i dont want you at my house and then she said you can come get them ill leave them in the mailbox. My best friend ended up being the girlshe introduced me to and she knows me inside out and everything me and her have been through her opinion is that she is really hurt and doesnt want to show me her true feelings. and her being with this guy was because she was vulnerable and still is. She tells me to just give her time and that in time her feelings will catch up with her because she is lying to herself. and then she will either show me her regrets or maybe not because she might feel that she messed up to much..now when i asked for the rings back she told me like wwe cant even be friends because all you do is talk about us. to me is like she doesnt understand im really hurting or that i do love her. please tell me if i should just move on with my life or is there any hope of her really loving me and just hiding it. because college just started and i know ima see her around i even saw her today with and old friend the friend said hi to me and she just gave me a kiss on the cheek after i told her what you cant say hi and they kept walking. Should i just forget about the one true love i felt i had because I know she felt the same about me. and through this time ive been tryin to change and correct myself as a person specially putting my hands on anybody specially a woman. Now believe me if i wasnt tryin to change i wouldn't admit my wrongs but i cant help feel that i used to tell her so much i didnt want her in my life when deep down i did n realized it with time. Please someone advise me
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