hereandnow Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 About an hour ago I talked to my ex gf on the phone. We 've been broken up about 2.5 months. I had called her last night, left a message, she left a message this afternoon and I called her back. Conversation lasted about 20 minutes, usual stuff, work, school, family. I made her laugh a few times. I told her I would be up at the coffee shop (where I now sit) and if she cared to she could join me. She said she had some stuff to do. Anyway, it's not so much the contents of the call that I'm posting about, but rather how I feel about everything at the moment. While I talk to her I do feel a bit sad because hearing her voice brings back the times she told me she loves me, etc. I miss something that apparently isn't there anymore. It really seems kind of silly thinking about it. Yes, I would get back with her if she wants to give it another try, but I also sometimes get the feeling that maybe we wouldn't work out even if we did. Do I miss the relationship just because it isn't there anymore? What we had really was good, there's no doubt about that. I still wake up thinking about it and am still feeling a lot of pain over it. I was thinking that one of the things that hurts me the most is thinking about someone else being with her. In other words someone else having something that I can't have. Possibly both envy and jealousy at the same time. I wonder if I would feel this way even if I had been the one to end it. Anyway, just throwing some stuff out there. Any responses/support appreciated.
mm4184 Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 hi. i feel your pain. i still wake up thinking about him and everything after over 3 months of being broken up with him. and like you, i'm not on complete NC yet but i am getting there. because seeing him a few days ago (vowing it would be the last) just brought everything back and it hurt like hell. i also know how you feel about the jealousy.. i think it's also competition for me. i always want to "win" or be the best at something and now that this happened, i feel like i failed in some way.. i DREAD the day that i see him with another girl.. and i hate thinking/obsessing about him being with other girls. how do we make it go away!? it's the worst.. it's something that hasn't happened and something we can't control i know.. but HOW do we just get past that? i'm sorry you are going through this but at least we know that we're not alone.. i'd appreciate some kind of advice as well on how to look past or move on/let go because i feel like i'm stuck in a rut. i know NC is supposed to be the answer but then other than that.. what else aside from trying to keep busy?? because as much as i try.. i feel like a zombie.. i still dread waking up because it's the first thought in my head and the last before i sleep
Author hereandnow Posted January 8, 2009 Author Posted January 8, 2009 I definitely understand how you feel. Through a turn of events today I ended up hanging with my ex at her apartment. I'm going to start a thread on it. I don't know what to think anymore.
saturnfell Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 First things first, don't think about what your ex could possible be doing or who the could be with. That will get you nowhere. You are not going to try and prevent them from leaving their house, so thinking about it is only going to hurt you. Second, I understand missing an ex. But can I offer some advice: if you miss your ex, but don't think it can work in the long run... you're probably right. The fact that you can even admit that to yourself is a huge accomplishment. Think about it.
mm4184 Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 p.s. i feel jealous as hell of anyone being with the person i wanna be with, i feel like this world is unfair and my heart is being slowly twisted and drained of all feeling. me too. i'm an aries. i strive for being the best and i'm competitive so it's always been in me to feel let down when i'm not up there. and now, i am so scared of him being with someone else one day. it is so UNREAL to me yet i know i have to accept it.. i wish i could already so i can move on but i just can't seem to get there yet. how do you just accept that someone else will be holding their hand.. sleeping next to them.. waking up to them.. i'm a mess.
Recommended Posts