ATR Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 It has been almost a month since she ended it. So 3 weeks since NC started. I havent been sad about her for 2days now. Also i have been set up with this really attractive and caring girl (as of yet). Who i have instantly felt a connection with. I've only just met her so i'm not trying to go too fast and be hopeful. But can i be safe that if it does work that it wont be a rebound. Can i prevent this, or is all ok?
Knight_Ctrl Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 I'm sort of in the same situation as you brother. I've been feeling like its too soon for me to be over my ex. I think most of the time I might just be kidding myself....its really tough to judge. I too have an attractive new lady friend I have been spending time with. And I too have been determined to not have her be a rebound girl. Problem is I think even if we don't want her to be a rebound girl, maybe she is. I find when I start getting depressed over my breakup when I think about this new girl everything seems ok. Maybe its just the hope, and the subtle proof that yes there is hope for a future without the ex. My advice to you, just take it slow. If things happen with this new girl, let them. Just don't go to far out of your way to make them happen.
EmperorR Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 Be wary I've had weeks when I felt good then I crashed again.
saturnfell Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 I would not start anything new yet. The break is still very new. I think the most common mistake people make is thinking their feelings have gone and moving on. They find out (days, weeks, years) later, their feelings are still plain as day.
Author ATR Posted January 8, 2009 Author Posted January 8, 2009 Aha, well i would like to get back into contact with my ex in the future. No way am i going to get into contact with her yet, this could just be a phase. Should i wait for her to contact me or in the distant future i contact her?
durotto Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 She should contact if she dumped you ... If you dumped her .. get ready to face the fact that she could have moved on and you can handle it .. then call her ..
Author ATR Posted January 8, 2009 Author Posted January 8, 2009 No she dumped me, i was convinced that the relationship was fine... she was not. But yeah the thing is that i went into panic mode and started telling her that we could work, how she was being disrespectful to me. So i think she got annoyed with me and wont contact me due to her own guilt? But yeah i guess i should wait for her if anything.
DSM-IV Tom Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 I'll tell you like it is, as I've told KNIGHT like it was many times (most of which he ignored, to his own detriment). You are most likely not over her. No way. You are most likely in stage 1 or 2 still. You probably have a good 6 months to go. It's foolish to think you'll be over her so quickly. And if you truly have gotten over someone so quickly, then it's a problem with YOU.
Knight_Ctrl Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 I'll tell you like it is, as I've told KNIGHT like it was many times (most of which he ignored, to his own detriment). You are most likely not over her. No way. You are most likely in stage 1 or 2 still. You probably have a good 6 months to go. It's foolish to think you'll be over her so quickly. And if you truly have gotten over someone so quickly, then it's a problem with YOU. Yeah, DSM is pretty much right. Listen to him when he speaks for his words are wise. I just needed to make my own mistakes, I know I'm not over her....just, getting there at best. Thats why its important to be careful. Not just for yourself but for whoever you might hurt if you act to quickly.
Author ATR Posted January 8, 2009 Author Posted January 8, 2009 I'll tell you like it is, as I've told KNIGHT like it was many times (most of which he ignored, to his own detriment). You are most likely not over her. No way. You are most likely in stage 1 or 2 still. You probably have a good 6 months to go. It's foolish to think you'll be over her so quickly. And if you truly have gotten over someone so quickly, then it's a problem with YOU. Lmao. Yeah i guess you're right, i'm not over her. I'm just not feeling as depressed as i have been the past few weeks. However tonight i'll admit i did think of her, i'll continue no contact till i truely dont think about her anymore.
Knight_Ctrl Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 Lmao. Yeah i guess you're right, i'm not over her. I'm just not feeling as depressed as i have been the past few weeks. However tonight i'll admit i did think of her, i'll continue no contact till i truely dont think about her anymore. I really think thinking of her, at least on occasion (definitely not constantly and being depressed about it) is good though. For me when I think of her I can use it to judge how far I've progressed in my healing. A month ago when I thought of my ex I would completely lose it, even made my self physically sick a few times doing it. Now its more like getting stabbed, sucks but I can handle it (yeah I'm a badass). Basically all I'm trying to say is just be aware of your feelings and you'll see yourself getting better.
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