emotionalydistraugt Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 I dont know why it happens but it does. I have a good day, then an alright day, then I have today. I keeep thinking about her. And it is irratating the hell out of me. I'm telling myself she's not worth it, I'll find someone better, I can't change her and nothing is working. I think about her having sex with someone else and it kills me because I was her first and she was mine. I think she's out enjoying life not thinking about me whatsoever while I sit at home trying to get a hold of my friends with no luck whatsoever and sitting thinking about her. It's painful but I refuse to let myself cry over her. I dunno I just thought it would help to hear from my fellow breakupers. The people who understand what I'm going through
EmperorR Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 These days always happen I still get them 5 months later. Just have to let it out if your sad let it out angry let it out. I know how it is with thinkig she's screwing other guys but she cheated on you right? So she already do it just try not vision. When my ex told me she cheated on me I had to know every detail because that's the type of person I am but those visions scenarios clouded my mind for a long time but I'm rid of them now. And trust me your right anything is better than a cheat. I know hoe hard it is. You tell friends and there going to tell you man she cheated she's a whore eu over it . But it's hard because to you she was kind sweet innocent but that person is nine more.
mm4184 Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 I dont know why it happens but it does. I have a good day, then an alright day, then I have today. I keeep thinking about her. And it is irratating the hell out of me. I'm telling myself she's not worth it, I'll find someone better, I can't change her and nothing is working. I think about her having sex with someone else and it kills me because I was her first and she was mine. I think she's out enjoying life not thinking about me whatsoever while I sit at home trying to get a hold of my friends with no luck whatsoever and sitting thinking about her. It's painful but I refuse to let myself cry over her. I dunno I just thought it would help to hear from my fellow breakupers. The people who understand what I'm going through recently, i've been having mostly bad days.. maybe because i just saw/spoke to him couple days ago. i keep thinking as well and it pisses me off because why am i wasting my time on someone who doesn't want to waste theirs on me!? i also tell myself all those things, but i know it doesn't really get through to me most of the time. he even told me he's happy. how am i supposed to feel about that!? i know you said you refuse to let yourself cry.. but i say just let it out.. cry until you can't anymore. it's your body's way of letting out emotional pain. i totally understand what you're going through though.. it hurts!! SO MUCH. and it hurts thinking of them having a blast or being with someone else.. when you were THAT person. you were "THE ONE" for so long then all of a sudden, you're just another person who came into their life.. and now they're on to the next chapter.. and that's where we SHOULD be as well. just gotta figure out how to get there.. i'm here for you i wish we all were in the same area so we can all be each other's support all the time! but that's what LS is for i guess!
Author emotionalydistraugt Posted January 7, 2009 Author Posted January 7, 2009 i guess I'm just trying to hold onto the image of the girl she once was and the girl she is probably being with this other guy. I know she'll never be the same girl to me as she once was. Today I just can't seem to get her out of my head.
durotto Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 I dont know why it happens but it does. I have a good day, then an alright day, then I have today. I keeep thinking about her. And it is irratating the hell out of me. I'm telling myself she's not worth it, I'll find someone better, I can't change her and nothing is working. I think about her having sex with someone else and it kills me because I was her first and she was mine. I think she's out enjoying life not thinking about me whatsoever while I sit at home trying to get a hold of my friends with no luck whatsoever and sitting thinking about her. It's painful but I refuse to let myself cry over her. I dunno I just thought it would help to hear from my fellow breakupers. The people who understand what I'm going through It has been a tough day for me as well .. Keep on NC and ... I don't know .. I just had a bad dream about her myself and feel all tired and worn out and depressed .. just hang on .. I guess ...
mm4184 Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 as stupid as it sounds, i wish my ex had cheated on me or done something horrible to me. but he didn't. he "just wasn't into it anymore" and we just weren't happy. so it's SO MUCH HARDER in my own opinion because i can't find a way to be THAT angry at him. i'm angry that it ended. i'm angry that i can't have what i was so comfortable with for so long.. but i can't seem to get angry enough at him. i want to! sometimes i think that since we didn't end on bad terms, that it just wasn't the "right timing" for us.. and really, i know it kind of wasn't. but i guess there really is no time for when people fall for each other. but i just keep thinking of the "what if's" and "if only" although i know i shouldn't.. this sucks.
sinkerswim Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 I can tell you one thing... I bet she thinks about you...I have been told by someone on here in the past...(Ive been through the hell before in 2004..and going through it again now) I have been told that it is human nature to miss someone. No matter who dumped who. If that person was a significant part of your life...then they miss you in some way or another. When it comes time for me to leave and go back to PA..I have to remember that he will miss me. OMG...I dread the road ahead of me. I dread it. But I will need all the support I can get...and LS works...its worked for me in the past as well. Chin up...we are all here for you.
sinkerswim Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 as stupid as it sounds, i wish my ex had cheated on me or done something horrible to me. but he didn't. he "just wasn't into it anymore" and we just weren't happy. so it's SO MUCH HARDER in my own opinion because i can't find a way to be THAT angry at him. i'm angry that it ended. i'm angry that i can't have what i was so comfortable with for so long.. but i can't seem to get angry enough at him. i want to! sometimes i think that since we didn't end on bad terms, that it just wasn't the "right timing" for us.. and really, i know it kind of wasn't. but i guess there really is no time for when people fall for each other. but i just keep thinking of the "what if's" and "if only" although i know i shouldn't.. this sucks. I know MM.. I know. The "What ifs"... "If Only".. "how come he said this in the past"... I do it all the time.
Author emotionalydistraugt Posted January 7, 2009 Author Posted January 7, 2009 I can tell you one thing... I bet she thinks about you...I have been told by someone on here in the past...(Ive been through the hell before in 2004..and going through it again now) I have been told that it is human nature to miss someone. No matter who dumped who. If that person was a significant part of your life...then they miss you in some way or another. I sure hope you're right. I hope it affects her decisions in much the same way she affects mine. I just want her out of my life. I want to stop letting my decisions depend on her. I dont want to be home in case she might drive by and see I'm not doing anything but I dont want to go out in case I see her and her new guy. It's tough
EmperorR Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 as stupid as it sounds, i wish my ex had cheated on me or done something horrible to me. but he didn't. he "just wasn't into it anymore" and we just weren't happy. so it's SO MUCH HARDER in my own opinion because i can't find a way to be THAT angry at him. i'm angry that it ended. i'm angry that i can't have what i was so comfortable with for so long.. but i can't seem to get angry enough at him. i want to! sometimes i think that since we didn't end on bad terms, that it just wasn't the "right timing" for us.. and really, i know it kind of wasn't. but i guess there really is no time for when people fall for each other. but i just keep thinking of the "what if's" and "if only" although i know i shouldn't.. this sucks. Trust me it's not easier at all, it took me months to get this wholesome image of my cheating ex out of my mind. Especially when most cheaters blame you for it you keep on wondering what you could have done to make them not cheat and it consumes you.
Author emotionalydistraugt Posted January 7, 2009 Author Posted January 7, 2009 Trust me it's not easier at all, it took me months to get this wholesome image of my cheating ex out of my mind. Especially when most cheaters blame you for it you keep on wondering what you could have done to make them not cheat and it consumes you. I agree completely. It hurts so much more because they chose someone else over you. Over someone who was supposed to be more than just another person but when they cheat on you they just throw your cares out the window and basically flip you off. At least your ex told you their true feelings instead of choosing someone else over you. I think that's what hurts. Is that I'm not good enough for her or something.
mm4184 Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 aw guys, i understand then.. but as much as he did tell me how he feels, it doesn't change the fact that he chose not to be with me anymore. and i know he's been trying to "see" other people although he told me he doesn't want a girlfriend for awhile.. he still flirts. and i can't do anything about it. so i guess pretty much we're in the same boat. i guess i'm just thinking it hurts more because it gave me a little sense of hope that maybe RIGHT NOW this is what he needs (he said he needs to focus on his career because he's 30 and not where he wants to be in life etc and felt held back by the obligations and needed to do things for himself and devote that time to bettering himself) BUT that maybe in the future when he DOES find himself or whatever he's doing, that we have a chance. i feel like if he cheated on me, i would have an easier time accepting that it's over. but i guess it's all the same.. i just can't seem to understand how we were GOOD then he just doesn't know how to BALANCE anything and it just felt like he was being selfish by wanting to end things and not take my into consideration.. but then again, we did try (mostly me) for 2 more months before i knew it just had to end because we were in an uncomfortable limbo.. I WISH WE COULD ALL BE BETTER NOW
awesomeallalone Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 MM its funny how we seem to have the same type of situation..... if i didnt know any better i would say we were dating the same guy...... he told me the exact thing!
starzphalling Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 i got cheated on and tossed for a cokehead with stds....yeah im not making it up...what kind of mindf*** was that! lol i decided he was just retarded....i mean what other reason would there be
mm4184 Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 MM its funny how we seem to have the same type of situation..... if i didnt know any better i would say we were dating the same guy...... he told me the exact thing! i would LOVE to hear what else yours said because mine said a lot of CRAP that made me hopeful/hopeless at the same time. wish i knew how to private message haha. but really, if they loved us enough, is it really a reason to break-up if you need to "focus on your goals" because don't you WANT someone there with you by your side through your ups and downs and achievements, etc so you can share that with someone? it just messes me up.. and the whole "it's not you" sh*t. i guess i can understand but really, i can honestly say i was the most selfless gf to him. i feel like he's going through some kind of crisis (just turned 30) and he decided to take it out on me.
awesomeallalone Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 yep he told me he wanted to work on his goals going back to school and working he didnt want to feel bad for not spending time with me..... like im some kind of chore to him...but he has time to go out with his friends to bars and flirts with girls.....i think theyre just immature and need to grow up......yeah i know what you mean im still in the hopeful not hopeful stage im trying to fight it though......im no contact for 3 days!
starzphalling Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 what kind of line is "i don't want to feel bad about not spending time with you" i mean jebus, you're in a relationship you are there to support one another in your goals/choices...its like a slap in the face to me i hear "i don't want to not have time for you and have you start yelling about how im never around" do they really think we're so selfish that we can't understand that people have to actually do things to live a life? or perhaps its their latest excuse for not being able to be honest....you choose. bogusness.
Author emotionalydistraugt Posted January 7, 2009 Author Posted January 7, 2009 I got I'm not ready for the responsibilities of a serious relationship right now. And I also got "You're all I've ever known" While she goes out and has dates with another guy.
Por Un Segundo Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 I can relate to you as well MM my girlfriend of 6 1/2 years went to study abroad in Spain and a couple weeks in she said she is trying to find herself and was confused....she still kept talking to me after she ended it and kept telling me that she thinks about us still and she still sees a future with me. That was about 1 month ago that she told me that and being the stupid in love guy i still have hope even though we havent talked hardly at all now.
mm4184 Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 mine was a mixture of "i'm just not into it anymore" and him saying he feels he's not where he wants to be in life and needs to focus on getting there and that it's not fair to me because he wants to devote his time to all those goals and not have to worry about pleasing me, having family obligations etc. he just didn't want to have to be with me all the time i guess. i did kind of expect him to always be around.. so that's kind of my fault for relying on him so much.. but is it too much to ask your bf to want to be with you? because really, it started to feel like a task! and that i was always trying to make sure he was OK when he was out with me and that he was happy and pleased. i'm so stupid sometimes. i always put him before me..
awesomeallalone Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 i know what you mean.... it was always all about him.... what he wanted what he needed..... i see now that it would never work like that.... i even remember thinking to myself several times... "this isnt the way it should be"... im no ones chore......i know its better this way but still sometimes i want to rip my hair out!
Author emotionalydistraugt Posted January 8, 2009 Author Posted January 8, 2009 I know I have friends that love me and I know my family loves me but I want her to love me like she used too. And I know that it wont happen. I dont want her back I just want things to be back to the way they were so I don't feel so damn alone. I write down my feelings what I would say to her if I saw her and it doesnt help. I'm better than what I was when I first found out only because I can't get any lower.
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