Lauriebell82 Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 Out of curiousity, what is your opinion on being a housewife? My mom was a housewife for a really long time before going back to work. When I have kids in like 5 years I plan to stop working and take about 2 or 3 years off to have babies and take care of them. Then I am going to go back to work again. What are everyone's ideas on the subject?
ella23 Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 I'm not a housewife, but I did consider it when I had my son. I went back to work after my maternity leave ended because my parents are in the same city and took care of him for the day. Had they not been there though I would have taken more time off because I'm not a fan of childcare centers!
Star Gazer Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 Housewives put away a LOT of laundry, particular when they have babies. At least you have something to look forward to!
Author Lauriebell82 Posted January 7, 2009 Author Posted January 7, 2009 I'm not a housewife, but I did consider it when I had my son. I went back to work after my maternity leave ended because my parents are in the same city and took care of him for the day. Had they not been there though I would have taken more time off because I'm not a fan of childcare centers! Yeah, that's a lot of the reason why I would like to stay home.
blind_otter Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 I chose to stay home after my son was born. I don't consider myself a housewife, though. I think of myself as a stay at home mom. Just because my primary concern is being a mother and taking care of my baby. But I do keep a much cleaner house now, compared to when I used to. Being a stay at home mom is hard, I think, because you don't get up and go anywhere. You are at your job 24 hours a day; unless you get help, you get no breaks. Also, you don't get regular performance reviews. Not from an infant, anyways. Maybe it's different with older children. S/O helps out a lot with the baby, but we have a rule that he gets 40 minutes to himself after work to decompress before he "starts his second shift". I looked at childcare options and was not happy with what I found. And ultimately, I felt that I wanted to be around my son during the very impressionable formative years.
Author Lauriebell82 Posted January 7, 2009 Author Posted January 7, 2009 I chose to stay home after my son was born. I don't consider myself a housewife, though. I think of myself as a stay at home mom. Just because my primary concern is being a mother and taking care of my baby. But I do keep a much cleaner house now, compared to when I used to. Being a stay at home mom is hard, I think, because you don't get up and go anywhere. You are at your job 24 hours a day. Also, you don't get regular performance reviews. Not from an infant, anyways. Maybe it's different with older children. S/O helps out a lot with the baby, but we have a rule that he gets 40 minutes to himself after work to decompress before he "starts his second shift". I looked at childcare options and was not happy with what I found. And ultimately, I felt that I wanted to be around my son during the very impressionable formative years. Yeah, stay at home mom. Thanks for your reply. I really hate daycares and it is REALLY expensive to pay someone to babysit your kids full time. Plus I really wouldn't want to send an infant to a babysitter. That's nice that your SO other helps out. I know mine will too.
Author Lauriebell82 Posted January 7, 2009 Author Posted January 7, 2009 Housewives put away a LOT of laundry, particular when they have babies. At least you have something to look forward to! Yeah, that's going to suck. I hate putting away laundry.
ella23 Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 Yeah, stay at home mom. Thanks for your reply. I really hate daycares and it is REALLY expensive to pay someone to babysit your kids full time. Plus I really wouldn't want to send an infant to a babysitter. That's nice that your SO other helps out. I know mine will too. Just because my primary concern is being a mother and taking care of my baby. well my child is my primary concern too. Just because I'm working doesn't mean I'm a bad mum. Anyway, yeah, babysitters are way too expensive. So my parents took care of my baby while I was at work, and still do, and my ex wants nothing to do with our child.
Trialbyfire Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 I'll never be a housewife. If I ever have children, I'll most likely be working from home in conjunction with domestic help. If not, my parents will be my daycare. As for what I think about housewives, it depends on the housewife. Some are great mothers and role models, while others suck. Being physically present at home, doesn't constitute quality time or being a great mother.
Star Gazer Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 Honestly, I worry about this. I don't want to be a SAHM (I'd go crazy), and yet I don't want to be a full-time, balls-to-the-wall litigator at the same time as being a mother of young children (I'd be overwhelmed!). I'm worried I'll never find the balance.
nittygritty Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 I would love to be a housewife if I could hire someone to clean the house and watch the kids.
ella23 Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 Honestly, I worry about this. I don't want to be a SAHM (I'd go crazy), and yet I don't want to be a full-time, balls-to-the-wall litigator at the same time as being a mother of young children (I'd be overwhelmed!). I'm worried I'll never find the balance. haha, yes working long hours while your child is very young is incredibly tiring! But you might get used to it. I know women who managed it, but also a few who quit because they didn't have the energy to deal with both.
melodymatters Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 Well, I was never a house"wife", as I made the decision to leave my alcoholic abusive XH after our D was born, BUT I did make a lot of sacrifices to be a SAHM ( in a way). I moved back to my home town where family would, and wanted to pitch in, I took a flat above my grandparents at greatly reduced rent, and started what was my hometown first childrens theatre. I was also going to school full or nearly full time. Without family pitching in to watch her, I COULD NOT HAVE DONE IT ! Thankfully she was the first grand, and first great grand, so if anything I had to fight them off ! I still remember the first rehearsals of my theatre where I was on stage playing Cinderella, and my D was 1 and a half, crying "mooommmmy", while my mom tried to calm her down and keep her off the stage ! ( No worries, I started writing her parts of her own at age 5, and she grew up within the framework of the theatre. I think it was a good experience for her, the kids got balls ! ) Anyway, I think "housewife" has become a perjorative term. And that poor LB comes from a more...small town, homespun, old fashioned world than many of us, and when she doesn't use THE up to date, accepted, PC terms for things, she gets jumped on. I don't see the point in having children and leaving them with strangers IF YOU HAVE THE OPTION NOT TO. Important distinction. LB, your BF seems very financially oriented. Is he, and are you, really sure, that he won't get resentful paying for EVERYTHING for a family of four, and losing his all important buddy time ?
Author Lauriebell82 Posted January 8, 2009 Author Posted January 8, 2009 Well, I was never a house"wife", as I made the decision to leave my alcoholic abusive XH after our D was born, BUT I did make a lot of sacrifices to be a SAHM ( in a way). I moved back to my home town where family would, and wanted to pitch in, I took a flat above my grandparents at greatly reduced rent, and started what was my hometown first childrens theatre. I was also going to school full or nearly full time. Without family pitching in to watch her, I COULD NOT HAVE DONE IT ! Thankfully she was the first grand, and first great grand, so if anything I had to fight them off ! I still remember the first rehearsals of my theatre where I was on stage playing Cinderella, and my D was 1 and a half, crying "mooommmmy", while my mom tried to calm her down and keep her off the stage ! ( No worries, I started writing her parts of her own at age 5, and she grew up within the framework of the theatre. I think it was a good experience for her, the kids got balls ! ) Anyway, I think "housewife" has become a perjorative term. And that poor LB comes from a more...small town, homespun, old fashioned world than many of us, and when she doesn't use THE up to date, accepted, PC terms for things, she gets jumped on. I don't see the point in having children and leaving them with strangers IF YOU HAVE THE OPTION NOT TO. Important distinction. LB, your BF seems very financially oriented. Is he, and are you, really sure, that he won't get resentful paying for EVERYTHING for a family of four, and losing his all important buddy time ? Maybe "housewife" was the wrong word. I must be thinking of "Leave it to Beaver" or something. SATM has a better ring to it. As for my boyfriend, he said he was fine with it. He asked me how long I wanted to stay home for and if I was going to go back to work and I said yes, that I wanted to stay home for like 2-3 years. I may even decide to work part time at an outpatient clinic, I wouldn't get benefits but I'm sure I could find someone to watch the children for a few hours while I see clients. Then at least it would bring some income in for us. We don't plan on having children for another 5 years or so, so it gives me plenty of time to put some money aside. You bring up a good point though, it's probably something we will need to discuss in further detail.
porter218 Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 Also, you don't get regular performance reviews. Not from an infant, anyways. Maybe it's different with older children. . LOL..Yes, when they get older they will give you regular performance reviews. My son, who will be 4 soon, gives me performance reviews about 3times a day. It is priceless when he praises me for 'doing a good job' as a mother.
sally4sara Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 I don't think there is anything wrong with it if the couple can afford it. During the baby through elementary years it can be very beneficial to the kids to know one of their parents will be there when they get home from school. It makes sure their homework gets done and any issues of the day get discussed before the kid forgets all about it. If the kid is a toddler, they can't always be expected to tell you if their caregiver mistreats them. One of the parents being a stay at home can prevent this. After that age though, I feel it becomes less and less important.
Storyrider Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 Yeah, that's going to suck. I hate putting away laundry. Just throw all the clean laundry into a mountainous pile on the futon and dive in whenever you need to find something. Problem solved!
ella23 Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 I don't think there is anything wrong with it if the couple can afford it. During the baby through elementary years it can be very beneficial to the kids to know one of their parents will be there when they get home from school. It makes sure their homework gets done and any issues of the day get discussed before the kid forgets all about it. If the kid is a toddler, they can't always be expected to tell you if their caregiver mistreats them. One of the parents being a stay at home can prevent this. After that age though, I feel it becomes less and less important. well, I agree it's better than sending them to childcare. But my parents were there while I worked, and it worked well. All those needs were fullfilled. But I guess everyone's idea about what is best for the child differs so yeah:)
Prodigal Princess Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 I agree with Star and TBF. I couldn't stay at home either, I need intellectual stimulation. No children for me; just a dog and a maid. Yeah.
porter218 Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 No children for me; just a dog and a maid. Yeah. Ohh how I remember those days. twas nice while it lasted.
D-Lish Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 I'm just at that point where kids won't be a reality. I feel I have so much left to do and so many new things to experience that it wouldn't be fair to have kiddies. I babysit my nephew... sometimes I think he should be on a diet much lower in fibre. I always get the bad ones. My dogs are pampered and the house gets cleaned twice a month buy a lady that used to work for my mom but prefers my smaller adode. Next time- I plan on hiring a dog sitter. Staying at home with your kids is never an issue up for judgement or debate. It's parenting! The daft have kids without making any arrangements or thinking it through, then get trapped. Got a 5 year plan to 1st) get the ring, 2) have some kids? Just arrange for it ahead ot time. I don't like the term housewife- it always somes off sounding so demeaning to the woman.
shadowplay Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 Hell no, I'll never be a housewife. Honestly, I can't imagine anything more depressing. If I ever have kids (which I'm not sure that I will), I would cut work time down while they were young but I wouldn't put my career on hold.
Storyrider Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 I stayed home with my kids for ten years (with some part-time teaching and freelance writing, and some summer temp jobs here and there) starting when my oldest was born and ending when my youngest turned five. It was difficult at times, but they are really healthy and happy kids, and I can honestly say I did it for as long as I was able.
Prodigal Princess Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 Ohh how I remember those days. twas nice while it lasted. It's funny, next to this comment your baby looks like he has an evil grin on his face...
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