endz077 Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 feelings for a friend Im having trouble with my feelings towards a girl ive know since i was in 1st grade. i spent high school with these same feeling for her but i never told her how i felt because she always had a boyfriend. now we are in our mid 20's and my feelings for her havnt changed, and she still has a boyfriend. its getting to a point to where i cant stop thinking of her...but i think she thinks of me as a brother... shes absolutly gorgeous so she gets hit on all the time, and talks to a lot of guys...and i dont know how i can compete with these guys cause im not the best looking guy out there (im not ugly but its not like girls flock to me). and the truth is that ive never been in a long term relationship. we have actually hooked up once but it was a result of a drunken night that she seems not to remember what do i do? if i tell her i like her i feel it could make our friendship wierd... and i dont want to ruin a good friendship, but on the other hand i dont want to keep wondering wut if. cause all this is starting to stress me out..i mean when i hear shes talking to or with some other guy, i find myself getting jelous and mad thats its not me with her...and deep down i really think i could fall in love with her if im not already.
steveraves Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 Your instincts seem to be telling you that she thinks of you like a brother, which imo instincts are often correct. Unless she's given you some indication that she may have feelings for you, my advice is to keep it to yourself unless you're prepared for the dynamics of the friendship changing, and once it's changed it will be difficult if not impossible for it to go back to the way it was.
lightning spades Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 I have a friend who was in this exact same situation. It was driving him crazy, until eventually he decided to tell her. Like he expected, she told him no, but they still stayed good friends afterwards. If you guys are really close, I don't think it would change your friendship.
Cherrybomb Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 You can tell her, but be extremely casual about it. You could say "I wonder if we could ever be more than just friends." If she says no, then so be it. Don't mention it again. If she's a good friend, she won't give up on you. I understand that you don't want to make her feel weird or uncomfortable, but if you don't make a big deal out of it, she should understand. If you don't ask, you will continue to be tortured. At least you will have an answer. If she says no, then you can focus your energy on trying to find someone who is willing to have a relationship with you. I know this is easier said than done. Organizations and clubs are a good place to find people with mutual interests.
Recommended Posts