glitter2 Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 I met this guy in a club in mid Dec, he seemed nice!! We just talked then he had 2go. I dont drink I think he had a little, and he asked for number and texted me!! When it came to meeting up we scheduled to meet 4 times and he cancelled through text on all, for one reason or another, but seemed quite sorry and kept in contact with me over the christmas holidays. Hes been the one to text first. Last week I realised he hadnt texted me for 4 days and he usually does every 3!! I called and I get a message saying this phone is switched off and my tetx had been sent but no delivery report. I think he could have lost his phone... Now I remember him saying on the phone his brother works at the same place as my flat mate, and his brothers name. It will be 2 weeks from when we spoke, if I give a letter to my flatmate to give to the brother/or ask him about his brother. She doesnt know the brother but has heard of him. Or is this a silly idea?? Hes knows what uni Im at and where I live- accomodation site, so guess he could find me possibly. Hes not on any social networking site- he told me and we have no mutal friends- I wouldnt know how else to find him. Though I hope its not comming across as desperate. So what you think?? If you were him would this be offputting??? Also i try 2 not let my personal life known to flatmates, this ones a bit nosey but I did like him. Also I should add im 22, virgin due to religious reasons- i guess if he did just want sex he'd be disapointed- just want a relationship woith him- he knows im leaving uni this year and moving back home and was still intersted. I would tell him after 3rd date, but dont mind being sexually active in other ways. I do really like him! I think he liked me. Thanks for answers in advance
dreamergrl Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 Given that he cancelled 4 times, I would not pursue it. Even if he lost his cell, he could easily get the number off his phone records.
lightning spades Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 I would get your flatmate to casually inquire about it if you don't mind letting him/her into your business. If you don't want to seem needy, don't deliver a letter. That is waay needy. Neediness isn't usually as off-putting to guys as to girls though, so it's your call. Personally, I would be flattered if a girl I haven't seen in awhile sent me a letter, even if it does come across as needy. Even if I'm not interested romantically, there's a chance that an awesome friendship will grow out of it. Girls tend to be a lot more comfortable with let's just be friends than guys are.
bean1 Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 glitter2, Us women have interesting ways to analyze behaviour and rationalize things, such as "he may have lost his phone" as a reason he is one day overdue for contacting you. Unfortunately, this is one of those cases that "he is just not that into you". He has cancelled not once, twice, or even three times, but FOUR! And through a text! Not even the courtesy to call you. People don't generally do that to their casual friends, let alone someone they are interested in. You are too invested in someone who clearly can't even be bothered to meet up with you or keep plans. Truthfully, I would bet on the fact that he just enjoys the attention that you are giving him. Most girls would have told him to bugger off after the second cancellation. He does it because he can. Sorry! This one is a dud. You are a young girl, go out and enjoy what else there is! There are plenty of guys out there that would be at your door 15 minutes early to take you out on a nice date. There's no need to waste your time with this.
Author glitter2 Posted January 7, 2009 Author Posted January 7, 2009 glitter2, Us women have interesting ways to analyze behaviour and rationalize things, such as "he may have lost his phone" as a reason he is one day overdue for contacting you. Unfortunately, this is one of those cases that "he is just not that into you". He has cancelled not once, twice, or even three times, but FOUR! And through a text! Not even the courtesy to call you. People don't generally do that to their casual friends, let alone someone they are interested in. You are too invested in someone who clearly can't even be bothered to meet up with you or keep plans. Truthfully, I would bet on the fact that he just enjoys the attention that you are giving him. Most girls would have told him to bugger off after the second cancellation. He does it because he can. Sorry! This one is a dud. You are a young girl, go out and enjoy what else there is! There are plenty of guys out there that would be at your door 15 minutes early to take you out on a nice date. There's no need to waste your time with this. Hmmm Ive read that book!!! But in his defence- 2nd time he said he may not be able to make it a week before -as he runs football club and needed to get someone to take over, 3rd he said hes going through a badtime and has to go somehwere 4th- Realised he had to go for 4 am to london in morning and thought was later so, felt he'd be too tired. Do they count??Pretty good arent they? I do think he has lost his phone- as my text would have gone through- and its pay as you go. But maybe you are right! Grrrrr no ones ever loved me! Awww he seemed soo nice and i think was shy when he met me- i saw him planning it with his mate to ask my freind to dance with him, so he could speak 2 me. Also I did ask him and send a text sayin "I dont think your as interested as you were when we met, as you keep rearanging and i dont want to be messed around- he replied "I am really interested i realy like you. Im jus goin through a touch time and need to be somehwer else, can i see you tomorrow?" I said NO lol im busy, but he texted next day. Hes made effort and made effort to call once- but we spoke for 3 hours and could have chatted for longer hmmmmm Thnaks 4 ur advice- much appreciated -ive registered it
Author glitter2 Posted January 7, 2009 Author Posted January 7, 2009 I would get your flatmate to casually inquire about it if you don't mind letting him/her into your business. If you don't want to seem needy, don't deliver a letter. That is waay needy. Neediness isn't usually as off-putting to guys as to girls though, so it's your call. Personally, I would be flattered if a girl I haven't seen in awhile sent me a letter, even if it does come across as needy. Even if I'm not interested romantically, there's a chance that an awesome friendship will grow out of it. Girls tend to be a lot more comfortable with let's just be friends than guys are. Ok no letter definitely- hmmm wonder if all guys are nice as you though haha- friendship would be nice- but he has alot of friends it seems
bean1 Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 No, those are terrible excuses. If a young man is truly interested in a young woman, a pack of rabid animals in between them couldn't keep him away. This man is all talk and no action. I would be suprised if you were the only woman who he is doing this to at this exact time.
dreamergrl Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 Hmmm Ive read that book!!! But in his defence- 2nd time he said he may not be able to make it a week before -as he runs football club and needed to get someone to take over, 3rd he said hes going through a badtime and has to go somehwere 4th- Realised he had to go for 4 am to london in morning and thought was later so, felt he'd be too tired. Do they count??Pretty good arent they? And when he cancels for the 5th and 6th time, what will be the reason? I do think he has lost his phone- as my text would have gone through- and its pay as you go. Whether he lost it or not, he knows how to get a hold of you. Plus, if his brother works with your flatmate, he could easily get in touch with you. Also I did ask him and send a text sayin "I dont think your as interested as you were when we met, as you keep rearanging and i dont want to be messed around- he replied "I am really interested i realy like you. Im jus goin through a touch time and need to be somehwer else, can i see you tomorrow?" I said NO lol im busy, but he texted next day. Hes made effort and made effort to call once- but we spoke for 3 hours and could have chatted for longer hmmmmm He wants attention, of course he's going to feed you lines that you want to hear, or he's just being nice. Some guys don't know how to just say no.
bean1 Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 ]He wants attention, of course he's going to feed you lines that you want to hear, or he's just being nice. Agreed. Few women would still be pursuing him at this point. He knows he can string you along and you keep coming back for more. End contact with this person and only allow men into your life who will respect you. They are out there. But you won't find them when you are chasing this one.
Author glitter2 Posted January 7, 2009 Author Posted January 7, 2009 And when he cancels for the 5th and 6th time, what will be the reason? Whether he lost it or not, he knows how to get a hold of you. Plus, if his brother works with your flatmate, he could easily get in touch with you. He wants attention, of course he's going to feed you lines that you want to hear, or he's just being nice. Some guys don't know how to just say no. 5/6 time wouldnt happen!! I usually say go away on 3rd! I did text him when he did...he should have met me, but If i was travelling somehwere 4am next morning, that asking for bit too much? If hes coaching kids and cant find replacement then.. Lol I dont know! He cant actually get hold of me, he doesnt know my flatmate does work with his brother, nor does he know the name of my flatmate. I would agree with you on the last point but i dont think its he don know how to say no- he does make effort and no need for him to do so as we met once and hes aware wont be till a month till he sees me. Month almost over. Could be attention thing, but can you tell that at such an early stage? Your prob right though. Wish he could get hold of me somehow- then id know.
Author glitter2 Posted January 7, 2009 Author Posted January 7, 2009 Agreed. Few women would still be pursuing him at this point. He knows he can string you along and you keep coming back for more. End contact with this person and only allow men into your life who will respect you. They are out there. But you won't find them when you are chasing this one. few women would be - you are right there. Havent met any decent guys in ages and he seemed so. I have no choice but to end contact really, I dont think he could find me. Maybe am being too nice, so hard to tell xx
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