Kage111 Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 Just a little recap: 4 year relationship, she left me because she just "didn't feel it for me anymore." It's been 3 months. A few weeks ago, I attempted complete NC. Before I did that, I told my ex to no longer contact me unless it was absolutely necessary. Looking back, that was probably a mistake. After a week of NC, she calls me. I, of course, answer, since I figure, it must be an emergency. She tells me she's getting a new TV for her place and wants me to come pick up some of my stuff. (We took turns spending the night at each other's when we were together.) Annoyed, I tell her I'll pick it up tomorrow and hang up. Then I start to clean up my place to make room for my incoming stuff. I then find a large envelope she made me after 2 years, an anniversary present from her. It had everything we did together, tons of pictures of the first 2 years we were together... And I lost it. I called her and told her I could come get it now. She tells me no. I say please. Then she tells me, I don't need to come and get it, she just moved it off to the side and it's not in the way anymore. And a week of pent up emotions come pouring out. I felt as bad as I did the day she left me. I didn't sleep that night. I was obsessing. Did she do that on purpose or am I making too big of a deal about it? That's all I could think about. Then I thought, what if it had been a month of NC, would I have a month of emotions? So I came up with a new plan: Pretty much the opposite of NC. I now call her everyday, take her out, and try my best to enjoy it. I know a lot of you are going to think I'm crazy, but it's working. Every time we go out, and I treat her like a queen, and she treats me like sh*t... I feel that I love her a little less... 4 years is hard to go NC... I know a lot of you know that... But today, she called me and asked me to go to the beach, and, for the first time, I didn't feel happy to hear from her. I was annoyed at her. I know the best way to move on is to feel indifference for my ex, but... it's easier to go from dislike to indifference than from love to indifference... I just want to know, has anyone tried this? Anyone sure it will fail and I will be worse off before? Am I causing irreversible damage to my psyche?
Sbrizio Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 hello, IMHO, if you arrive to deteriorate your feelings so not to idealize that person, this could help you. The problem is, would you be prepared to be exposed to information or details about her and a new guy? Also, what if she gradually stops treating you like sh*t and come to you more friendly and flirty? This actually happened to me (with quite bad consequences for my health), and it's more than likely to happen as soon as she perceives that you're getting far. Don't want to push you in a decision:i think that the main objective is to re-center your life on yourself. I my case, i wasn't able to do it while keeping contact...that's why i decided to cut it out. Hope to know your progresses. Stay Up!
Author Kage111 Posted January 7, 2009 Author Posted January 7, 2009 Yah, I already plan on just dropping all contact once she finally gets together with "her new guy," because I know I won't be able to deal with that. Maybe that'll help screw up their relationship. Make her choose my friendship over some guy... but that's just wishful thinking. I can see it happening already with the guy who I'm pretty sure she dumped me for. Whenever I go out with her, she is bombarded with texts from this *sshole... haha... Obviously I don't like the guy. He texted her a lot while we were still together too... and he knew we were together. I usually ask her to just tell him she's busy so they can text when I'm not around and she tells me "You're not that special" and I feel like I get over her a little more. Weird therapy, I know, but I definitely feel like I'm getting closer to moving on every day.
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