Nessa401 Posted September 19, 2003 Share Posted September 19, 2003 I agree that marraige is not to be entered lightly. I know that in order to have a stable relationship the two individuals must be just that: individuals -- and secure ones at that. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now -- I am 20 and he will be 23 next month. We met right after he graduated from high school. I attend college in another state, and we have managed to keep our relationship together while being apart for the last 2 years. Not to say we haven't had our share of problems -- we've had a lot of hard times, that I think were just due to us growing, and we had to deal with them -- and we have dealt with them. I think we've done a marvelous job of growing individually and growing closer together. The problem I'm having, though, is I'm getting anxious. I have many friends who are graduating from college in a year or two, and they're engaged. They plan to get married a couple months after college. But most of them have not been together as long as us. We finally discussed living together after graduating (he took two years off, so we will finish together) -- even though I stay with him over summers and winters already. We are both close with each other's families, and everything seems right. I know he wants to wait to get engaged, I think partly because he wants to have money saved up, and he wants to have a job, etc. Which I agree with. I just can't help but feel like we should be engaged and not all these other people. I don't know if I have a question per se, but I think I'm wondering if it's okay for me to feel this way. Would it be okay to tell him after graduation or after this 3rd year of college, that I really want to get engaged after graduation. All I know is he's the one for me, and we're both going to grow and change - the key is to do so while sustaining the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
powerstorm Posted September 22, 2003 Share Posted September 22, 2003 Why are you so worried about everyone else, you need not look any further then your life. So what if your friends are engaged, its not your life. The decision to get married is a big one, and there is alot of responsibility that come with it. you have been together 4 years of which 2 you were apart or in a different state. I have been with someone that I love with all my heart and we have been friends for 3 years and in a relationship for a further 5 and we are not married yet. I just want everything to be perfect. ie money, security, stability. If you love him and he loves you there will be a time when you will get married but everyone does it at different times in there lives, I have friends that got married within a year. Everyone is different. "Good Luck" Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted September 22, 2003 Share Posted September 22, 2003 do you not realize that 20 is too young for marriage or engagement? i think getting engaged this young is stupid. you have no chance to get to know your full self, and then you have kids and bam! you have no more time for you. get to know yourself first....and then when you are older get married. most marriages with kids our age are divorced in a few years. Link to post Share on other sites
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