starzphalling Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 i don't even know what to type. i'm just feeling worse and worse. what's so wrong with me that the guys i actually love have to leave? i can't get that out of my head right now. i'm not clingy, im not bitchy, hell i drove my ltr ex to a strip club so he could drink and have a night out with the guys (i mean i didn't care at all really, they're just strippers). i don't pick fights, i like movies where stuff blows up, i love video games, im really easy going....my biggest personality flaw is that i got ocd and unplug everything lol. im just starting to question whether its even worth putting yourself out there to get hurt like this. where is the person that won't leave? why tell someone there is another chance later on, why not just NOT give up now? why can't i just forget...why can't i just sleep till it stops hurting...why can't he come back and say he was wrong...why did i have to want the love more than not wanting to get hurt? i want this stupid pain to go away, i want everything to stop reminding me. i want him back.
D-Lish Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 The break ups are not a measure of how good a gf you are! Ever consider that it's not you, but perhaps the men you choose to date? I know that's my problem. I have often dated damaged goods and gotten entangled with them despite my better judgement. If you're dating the same kind of men, it may be a pattern of bad choices in your mates. If you're only dating men that are emotionally unavailable, immature, damaged... then it stands to reason that the relationships won't ever work out. So, in a sense, you set yourself up for a fall from day one. Is there a particular pattern you can see in the type of guy you go out with or are attracted to?
Author starzphalling Posted January 7, 2009 Author Posted January 7, 2009 lol its funny you say that. this was the guy that broke the pattern. it actually took me a little longer to let myself fall for him because he was out of the norm for me. he wasn't broken, wasn't all i love you never leave me omg i love you, his only fault was he's never really had a serious relationship. other than that he broke my mold.
D-Lish Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 Never having had a serious relationship might be a red flad, depending on his age. If he's 20... it's not unusual, but if he's 30... another story perhaps. A 20 year old may just be working through his fear. I broke the pattern when I met my ex husband. He was a "nice guy", on solid footing... treated with with great respect. But even in the end- the nice guy/girl can fall out of love with someone. As I said before- it's not a reflection of who you are as a sweet and caring human being. If this was your first foray into a new arena of a better quality guy... All it says is that even nice guys can have their issues. When you put an effort forth, remain patient, treat someone with respect, and they can't make a commitment to you. That says he might have some things he needs to work out. Besides- he hasn't stopped coming around and wanting to meet. That says your qualities still entice him. He's got to crap or get off the pot for sure... But you don't know quite yet if he's gone until the NC has been employed for a while. How is the NC going? Has he tried to contact you? How are you doing tonight? D
Author starzphalling Posted January 7, 2009 Author Posted January 7, 2009 he's on the younger side so the no serious relationship does not bother me at all. i haven't talked to him since the day before nye, he texted me on new years day "happy new years" but i didn't respond lol all i could think in my head was "no its not" haven't talked to him since and he hasn't tried to contact me. and as for tonight, im going insane, but less so at the moment lol. other peoples problems are much better to deal with than my own
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