Bella Jordan Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 My fiance and I had an argument a couple of weeks ago in which I allegedly embarrassed him in front of his boss and coworkers. (Unfortunately, I'd had too much to drink and don't remember what I said.) He text me the day after to tell me that he was still angry, after which I called and wrote to apologize. We didn't speak again until he drunk dialed me 2 days later, spoke incoherently for a bit, then asked me to come over, which led me to stop by his place the following day to check on him. He didn't answer the door. He later text to ask why I'd come over and that I should leave him alone. I called him and told him I was tired of the hot/cold behavior and that I didn't understand why he'd call me one minute to ask me to come over then become furious and backed away the next. I said I couldn't handle this type of behavior and that he need not text/call me again...that we were done. A few hours later, as soon as I came online, he IMd me to tell me that he really didn't remember calling me but that he wanted "some time with no contact." I said he could take as much time as he needed, but that I couldn't handle his hostility. He responded that he "just need[ed] time to get over it" and that, to do so, he needed to be "left alone." Can any of you offer any insight to what's going on in his mind? I've kept NC since we spoke, which was a week ago. I really thought he'd have cooled down and contacted me by now and I'm terrified that the damage that's been done is irreparable.
belladonna Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 I wish I knew. I got that line too, but got impatient and demanded we talk. He agreed but was angry and defensive and didn't want to get back together So I guess keeping with his wishes of NC for at least another while is your best bet.
Author Bella Jordan Posted January 7, 2009 Author Posted January 7, 2009 I wish I knew. I got that line too, but got impatient and demanded we talk. He agreed but was angry and defensive and didn't want to get back together So I guess keeping with his wishes of NC for at least another while is your best bet. I'm trying SO hard to keep it up. I'm worried that he'll have a similar reaction if I break it - that perhaps he'll feel that I'm pressuring him. I just have to hope that during this time he'll start to wonder what I'm up to and how I'm doing, and maybe even begin to miss me. I love him with all my heart, but I also know that I can't put my life on hold while he decides what he wants. I guess I'm just one of those people who feels like when you know you want to spend your life with someone, you don't let one argument throw that into the balance.
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