q1w2e3r4t5y6a Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 Does anyone find tall skinny men attractive? I'm 6'5"/185lbs. (That is in the upper range of "normal weight" according to the BMI). But everyone (when guys say it I dont really care, but girls say it too) keeps telling me I'm sooooo skinny and could deal to put on more weight and that I can eat whatever I want (true) and this and that I'm weak occasionally... Someone told me I should go to Europe because people there are so many skinny/unmuscular/etc (those werent his exact words but i got what he meant) that I would look normal. I can always play it off cool but comments like that get to me and I just get really angry inside. I can eat whatever I want and not gain any weight. As a matter in fact, I once lost 8 pounds in a month by drinking less soda. I eat TONS and it makes almost no difference in my weight. I'm not even really weak. I can bench 135lbs (only like 4 reps, but w/e) and thats pretty normal. Especially because the bench is harder for people with long arms. I work out fairly consistently but all of those comments drive me up a wall. What should I do?
You'reasian Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 Does anyone find tall skinny men attractive? I'm 6'5"/185lbs. (That is in the upper range of "normal weight" according to the BMI). But everyone (when guys say it I dont really care, but girls say it too) keeps telling me I'm sooooo skinny and could deal to put on more weight and that I can eat whatever I want (true) and this and that I'm weak occasionally... Someone told me I should go to Europe because people there are so many skinny/unmuscular/etc (those werent his exact words but i got what he meant) that I would look normal. I can always play it off cool but comments like that get to me and I just get really angry inside. I can eat whatever I want and not gain any weight. As a matter in fact, I once lost 8 pounds in a month by drinking less soda. I eat TONS and it makes almost no difference in my weight. I'm not even really weak. I can bench 135lbs (only like 4 reps, but w/e) and thats pretty normal. Especially because the bench is harder for people with long arms. I work out fairly consistently but all of those comments drive me up a wall. What should I do? How much ya bench has little to do with your athletic ability - we don't know what you do. For all we know you could be a basketball player, distance runner, swimmer or kickboxer and if that's the case you're taylor made for those sports. Strength is important, but not as important as your functionability. Are you concerned more about your appearance?
Author q1w2e3r4t5y6a Posted January 7, 2009 Author Posted January 7, 2009 I am concerned mostly about my appearance. I play some basketball and some other sports for fun, but I am nowhere near coordinated enough to be any good at them (and I practice quite a bit, its just really hard to be lanky and coordinated). My body is basically the right type for them though, and on the court people will often think I am good before they see me try to do anything with the ball.
norajane Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 Swimming. No stupid balls to deal with, plus it's a total body workout and will give you muscular shoulders and arms. Add protein to your diet for muscle building, too. When you get older, your metabolism will change and you'll likely fill out anyway, so don't get in the habit of eating crap food.
Author q1w2e3r4t5y6a Posted January 7, 2009 Author Posted January 7, 2009 Thanks for the advice norajane! I do already swim (durring the summer a lot, durring the winter not so much) so I guess I will start to do more of that! Would it be fine for my weight to drop do you think as I put on muscle--I know that I can get stronger and lose weight, but then I end up being stronger and looking the same or even smaller? (because it will if I swim/if I eat even remotely healthily--i just can't get enough healthy calories into my diet, my metabolism is fast enough to burn 4000 calories a day if I am basically sedentary).
norajane Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 That's why all those muscley-weight lifter dudes suck down all kinds of protein shakes. There's no way for them to get enough protein and "good" calories otherwise. They burn it off too quickly. Add leg workouts with weights - squats and lunges, definitely. You'll want to balance out the arm and shoulder work with leg and back. Check out bodybuilding.com - you'll find lots of good advice there on how to put on muscle without packing on fat. They have recommendations on which protein shakes are best. I think there are different kinds, soy protein vs. whey protein...
Capricciosa Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 For whatever it's worth, I've always had a thing for tall skinny men. I've expanded my horizons since, but for the longest time, lanky was on my list of qualities that I immediately found attractive. I cannot be the only one.
ferraridave Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 Alright buddy, youre whats called an extreme ectomorphic, which means your body is extremely ineffective if you think of it as a motor or simple machine, like an engine that idles to fast. The good: Since your genetics have no endomorphic traits you can eat whatever you want! u are the type of person who can have Mcdonalds for breakfast, pizza for lunch, and a 20 oz rib-eye for dinner and not care! (though I wouldnt recommend it) The bad: you also seem to have no mesomorphic traits, so putting on muscle (what i assume you mean by weight) is very difficult. This is a problem exhibited by not so much europeans but rather many asian-disendent people. Remember its hard but not impossible. I will give you some pointers as to how you can achieve that body you always wanted. First off, keep the calories high, but also keep them clean! As not all calories are created equal, stay out of fast-food places! The best thing to do is make your own food at home. Normally a diet with about 55% carb, 30 % protein, 15% fat is ideal for bulking up, but for you i would suggest 45-30-25 since you need the extra calories brought by the fat. Eat six times daily. This is hard, but also necessary. since your metabolism is high, what happens now is you eat breakfast. your body digests it in 2 hrs, but lunch isnt for another 2 or 3 hrs, so your body decides to "borrow" some extra energy from your fat and muscles, and since you dont have much fat, most of it comes from killing off muscle. this is the reason for your low weight. By eating 6x daily, u ensure that ur body always has energy. U said ur BMR was 4000 cal? so including 1 hr of exercise, plus some extra for building muscle, i would say eat 5000-5500 cal daily, thats 800-900 cal a meal. As far as exercise, NO CARDIO! or atleast keep it down to 2x a week, 30 min. do anarobic only, 5x a week, keep 1 body part in concentration each day. so Mon-chest, TUE-Legs, Wed-Arms, Thur-Upper Back, Fri-Lower back/shoulders. and do core work 3x week. A few other tips, sleep well! 9+ hrs. keep stress down to a minimum. Follow the advise for 4-6 months and you should be alright. you wont look like a bodybuilder, but you can have strong arms, nice pecs, and an 8-pack abs. Good luck!
You'reasian Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 I am concerned mostly about my appearancel. Accept your body type and work with it. Its going to be hard for you to gain weight no matter what you do, so eat lots and lots (but healthy) and lift heavy weights. Pick excercises that work major groups of muscles with weights that you can't move more than 5-6 times. Good luck. You may not get huge, but you should be able to add a little muscle mass.
MN randomguy Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 Being self-conscious about being lanky is more damaging than being lanky. As long as you look healthy there are some girls that go for it. I'm the other way 6'3" and cannot get under 200. On a tangent, does anyone out there have an opinion, do underweight women like lanky guy and overweight women go for overweight guys.... Or is it a negative correlation.
Storyrider Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 In mid-January, in the US at least, tall skinny men are going to be where it's at, starting from the top down.
norajane Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 On a tangent, does anyone out there have an opinion, do underweight women like lanky guy and overweight women go for overweight guys.... Or is it a negative correlation. It depends. Are the tall lanky guys or the overweight guys intelligent or not? Do they appreciate Jon Stewart humor or Three Stooges? Are they employed or living in their parents' basement? Are they charming or withdrawn? Are they jerks or kind to others? Do they leer at waitresses when on dates, or do they dance with the girl they came with? Elvis or emo? There are a lot of factors that come into play when considering who women of any size "go for" and it's individual. I don't think you can come up with a correlation based solely on length and girth.
exclusivelyME Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 I don't think I'd have a problem meeting and being attracted to someone with your dimensions. I am fairly tall myself so the height isn't a problem. The weight I don't think would be a problem either. If you really wish to gain weight, though, and since you have trouble doing so try to gain muscle. Work out on a more frequent basis and take on swimming as norajane pointed out.
lightning spades Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 Protein bars. Tons and tons of protein bars. Woo!
amerikajin Posted January 8, 2009 Posted January 8, 2009 I used to have this problem, too, until I was about in my mid 20s. Then my bad habits finally started catching up with me I'm 6'2" and when I was in college I kid you not, I was hovering around 140 lbs. In recent years I've gone up to 195, though I like to keep it a bit lower, like around 180. Ferraridave suggested a regimen, which would work, but my concern is that even though you desperately want to gain weight, there's a right way to go about it. I disagree with the advice about absolutely no cardio; instead, I might balance cardio with more weight training. So instead of spending two or three hours a day playing basketball, maybe cut that time in half or even by two thirds, and spend more of your time in the weight room. But your body still benefits from cardio because it keeps your endurance up and it allows your body to function efficiently. Light to moderate cardio is probably the best, healthiest form of exercise there is. I do agree with Ferraridave on one thing, though: up the carbs. You need to be taking in food that's going to put weight on you. Carbohydrates and proteins are going to give your body fuel to get through the weight training sessions and start putting on mass. Your muscles will be really sore at first if you're not used to training, but give it about a week to 10 days of regular training and you'll gradually feel normal again. There are some perfectly safe supplements on the market which help your muscles recover faster and enable you to hit the gym more regularly.
Isolde Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 I've never liked bigger than average muscles. If a guy has a cute face I don't care how bony he is.
openbook08 Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 I've never liked bigger than average muscles. If a guy has a cute face I don't care how bony he is. snap! same as isolde.
Kenyth Posted January 9, 2009 Posted January 9, 2009 This guy is 180 degrees from the guys like me who gain weight easily. Certain metabolic situations that are mostly genetic allow one to put on weight. People who get fat easily can also usually put on muscle mass easily. People who can eat what they like and not gain an ounce of fat will have trouble putting on muscle mass. People who put on weight easily are most suited for strength related activities and will probably have trouble with high intensity cardio. The opposite is true of the skinnier folks. I say live with what you have been given. Thin is in style now anyway. One health issue to keep in mind when you're naturally skinny is blood chemistry. When you're not overweight, it's easy to just eat what you like with no thought to heart disease. Chronic bad blood chemistry from cholesterol and fats is just as dangerous for skinny people. Have your blood checked and still eat a sensible diet, even though you don't have to to stay slim.
Franc Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 First off: no matter how much you weight, girls will like it. If you want to gain weight, do it to be healthy! For some time i was 6'2 140 pounds, definitly not healty. Ended up in the hospital, no energy, sick...Now at 170lbs i'm feeling much better! More energy, less back problems, more endurance...Our body type as one major advantage though: V02 max/kg. It makes us endurance machines with a bit of training and tons of food. Perfect for hiking, running, skiing...More muscles mean more weight to carry in those sports, so skinny guys have the edge. The only thing that worked for me (I'm not sure i would recommend it...) is eating as much as i can of the greasiest food i could find. I count calories and try to over around 4000-6000 a day depending on what i do. I even eat cubes of butter when i go winter camping! It's the only i can keep my weight above 160lbs....It would probably kill most people but it works for me!
TwilightSky Posted January 11, 2009 Posted January 11, 2009 Wow, 4-6k cals a day. I should just find a way to make olive oil taste good by itself, then chug it lol!
Franc Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 I've drank olive oil before in a desperate atempt to stop loosing weight on a looooong trek, but it doesn't work (goes right through you!). Cooked oil is easier to digest, so i would suggest just putting oil in EVERYTHING you cook. It makes a HUGE difference in the long run and on long expeditions.
Rebellious Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 Does anyone find tall skinny men attractive? I'm 6'5"/185lbs. (That is in the upper range of "normal weight" according to the BMI). But everyone (when guys say it I dont really care, but girls say it too) keeps telling me I'm sooooo skinny and could deal to put on more weight and that I can eat whatever I want (true) and this and that I'm weak occasionally... Someone told me I should go to Europe because people there are so many skinny/unmuscular/etc (those werent his exact words but i got what he meant) that I would look normal. I can always play it off cool but comments like that get to me and I just get really angry inside. I can eat whatever I want and not gain any weight. As a matter in fact, I once lost 8 pounds in a month by drinking less soda. I eat TONS and it makes almost no difference in my weight. I'm not even really weak. I can bench 135lbs (only like 4 reps, but w/e) and thats pretty normal. Especially because the bench is harder for people with long arms. I work out fairly consistently but all of those comments drive me up a wall. What should I do? I'm the same type as you, I have to keep eating or I lose weight. There's no need to do anything, that's a very healthy BMI and women have an overwhelming preference for tall men, go to Golds gym and watch them drool:cool:
electric_sheep Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 One thing about it... usually the girls that like tall skinny guys are tall and skinny themselves, which is a plus in my book. Also, would you want to be with someone who judged you based on looks alone? Anyway, I've always been tall and skinny, and I used to think I ate a ton and would never be able to gain weight, etc... A consistent program of weight training, combined with cutting back on cardio (be lazy! No more than 20 minutes of basketball, hee hee), and a large caloric increase, including PLENTY of meat... and you'll gain weight, believe me. Metabolism isn't nearly as mysterious as people like to think. It's all relative. I thought I ate a lot till I went on vacation with my best friend, who is a really big guy. Then I saw what it meant to really eat a lot. He'd grill up 4 hot dogs and have them as a post-dinner SNACK! He ate more for breakfast than I generally do for dinner, but most importantly he cultivates the Buddhist art of non-doing. If you don't believe me, just start eating... all the time. Morning to night. And no long distance "trekking". If you don't gain weight then you are somehow violating the laws of thermodynamics.
Throne Of Lies Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 I'm the same way, although at 6' 5" and 185, you aren't really skinny. You are regularly sized. And a 135 bench for a man of your size is at least 30 pounds off of what it should be for a fit individual of your size. You need to keep some sort of food journal. Many people who claim to eat anything and not gain an ounce actually eat far less than they think they do. This is the actual reason small people are small and big people are big, much less about genetics and metabolism than people make out. It is just perception. Keep a food log Work out the large muscles in the leg, back and chest eat 1.5 grams of protein for every pound of body weight grow
BoredPerson Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Does anyone find tall skinny men attractive? I'm 6'5"/185lbs. (That is in the upper range of "normal weight" according to the BMI). But everyone (when guys say it I dont really care, but girls say it too) keeps telling me I'm sooooo skinny and could deal to put on more weight and that I can eat whatever I want (true) and this and that I'm weak occasionally... Someone told me I should go to Europe because people there are so many skinny/unmuscular/etc (those werent his exact words but i got what he meant) that I would look normal. I can always play it off cool but comments like that get to me and I just get really angry inside. I can eat whatever I want and not gain any weight. As a matter in fact, I once lost 8 pounds in a month by drinking less soda. I eat TONS and it makes almost no difference in my weight. I'm not even really weak. I can bench 135lbs (only like 4 reps, but w/e) and thats pretty normal. Especially because the bench is harder for people with long arms. I work out fairly consistently but all of those comments drive me up a wall. What should I do? HEY MAN ! I am about your height only I am huge. I put on weight like I put on Tom Cruize puts on woman's underwear. I weigh 150kgs whatever that is in pounds. My arms are the same size as some people's legs I kid you not, my arms as a big (almost as my dads legs).; Doesn't help me with the ladies one bit. In fact, I'd go as far as to say it HURTS my chances. In school they used to call me the missing link. Man I can bench like 130kgs untrained 135 pounds is pretty bad. You gotta be like a real man I've just got the body of one but I am a little girl on the inside. Dude people in Europe are huge... Tall and skinny is good. You just gotta meet the right girls. My housemate was like you and he boned heaps of girls.
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