freespiritlove Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 So IN the beginning, THis guy was very much interested, and made the greatest attempt of contacting me and getting my interest. He was always apt for something more. He knew what he wanted, and that was more than a friendship. I wasnt all for answering all his messages, because at the time i had a unloyal boyfriend (recently to find out) now he's my ex, and i didnt show all that much of interest in this guy. But however, i started to talk to him a little more, but not as much as he was. He was blowing up my phone, ha. Anyway, I agreed to meet up with him and share the day together, we had a good day, i found myself to be attracted to him and he said he would like to further into something more with me. We ended up, doing the "making love" scene, and we still liked eachother and wanted to further our relations. So anyway, WIth the boyfriend i had, i found out he was lieing to me and cheating and that was broke off. This guy that i was trying to get to know, started back to work because he was on vacation and, wasnt talking to me as much... Here i am HAVING MIXED emotions and he says everything will work out and be okay and he likes me and wants to get to know me more... A few more days go by, and he's clearly not answering any of my messages and im blowing up his phone, and he's not answring and it's driving me upset and all this stuff. So today i ask, ARE YOU INTERESTED OR NOT he finally answered and said... "sry, i was but now im not, you texted me a thousand times and called nonstop and it made me change my mind" i said i was sorry, and things werent going well right now... and i didnt want him to think i was crazy or obsessive and to take care etc. I dont know what to do... BUt all i know is i want to get his interest back.... Should i stop texting and calling, and just leave him be? But what if he just forgets me and everything... I just need advice, because i know we had something good, he always said we had a good connection.
Artu Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 So today i ask, ARE YOU INTERESTED OR NOT he finally answered and said... "sry, i was but now im not, you texted me a thousand times and called nonstop and it made me change my mind".[/quote] His words show he wanted to win you just for his ego . He understood that won you as " you texted him a thousand times and called nonstop ",and lost his interest . _____________ I liked your words down there,author of the thread ..
Author freespiritlove Posted January 6, 2009 Author Posted January 6, 2009 so what you're saying is that, what won him over on his decision is basically the texts and calling... Not my personality or the connection we had. I must have come off as obsessive. But, it lured him away from me, because hes not interested after i've texted him numerous times. I really like him. And he's just baseing this interest on the fact that i've texted him so many times because he wouldnt text me back... Having said that i'm having mixed emotions, and he's very busy and i'm on break now so it's made me very bored sitting at home with out my car (*being fixed) and so i delete my text's and just go back and do some more... and im afraid if i text more it will drive him even more nuts... I dont know how to understand this... or what to do though....TO win him over again.... Since he was basing this only on The texts... I wasnt saying mean things or anything...
Author freespiritlove Posted January 6, 2009 Author Posted January 6, 2009 The exact words were "sry, i was interested, but not anymore" I said "so what made you become uninterested" "sry, i just changed my mind, you texted me a thousand times and called nonstop" I told him basically that i was sorry, and what was going on, that i had a good time with him, and i gave him a chance but, to take care and he said " have a good one" And really i didn't call nonstop, i called a few times... And i texted a few times. I just dont like to be left hanging. And i dont know what to do now... But just, not talk to him??\ When we both knew that we had a good connection, and wanted something more... I feel used..
BCCA Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 Honestly, why do you want anything to do with this guy? He blew you off and it made you crazy. Who cares what he said about why he changed his mind, its probably BS. Chances are, you were one of 2-3 girls he was talking to, and he chose someone else. To answer your question, yes, you should absolutely leave him alone. Forever. He wont forget you, trust me. If you dont and keep trying, hes going to think youre pathetic/desperate, and those traits generally dont translate into 'girlfriend material'. Stop calling/texting, and find someone else.
BobrigoSanchez Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 I'm seeing this in a totally different light. Truth is, you did ask for it. You're telling us exactly what went on, and you're right. You may have not been obsessed, but you did come off as it. I'm very sure that there was a chance that you're relationship could've gone a little further, but you guys were waaaay too quick. You two were already willing to take "the next step" right after you met, all of this within the span of his vacation! Regardless of how long he had been texting you, you had just broken up with your ex and now you're trying to jump into a new exclusiveness? I'm sorry, but many many guys would high-tail it out of there and it doesn't make them players or ego-centric users. He was interested in you in the beginning, but just to hang out (hanging out can include casual sex). This is totally natural! For people to say that he was trying to use you is BS! this is how many healthy relationships start out. What you needed to do is relax, and take it one weekend at a time. After your initial encounter, you should've limited communication to 1 text on the weekend. If he replied, obviously you would continue to to converse. If he didn't reply you should have just let him be and see if he would've contacted you. Then it's your decision as to what to do. And never bring up the topic of "weak conversation", like asking "Why aren't you replying?" or "Are you going to talk to me?". No no no no. If you decided to sleep with him so soon and got your heartbroken, I'm sorry, but we're adults now and this is how adults play. This did have a chance, in my view. But constant texting in the beginning stages is one of the biggest turn-offs FOR ALMOST ANY GUY. I do not care what anyone says, you moved too fast. Good luck.
Hersheys Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 Sad to say but the chase is over. Some (men & women) really are just after the chase, drama and mystery. It's like some stupid game people play. What you have to do now is do NOTHING. No more contacts, no more asking him what happened. Chalk that guy up as an experience and a lesson learned. He won't forget you but be glad if he does because that guy sounds like an a** and you are better off not having him in your life. If he contacts you, IGNORE him. He does not deserve any attention from you anymore.
Author freespiritlove Posted January 7, 2009 Author Posted January 7, 2009 just left a myspace message, and said... "Chances are always nice.almost didnt give u one. annnnd, it would be nice to hang out again?Friends would be cool if not anything else.I dont like to lose friendships.Especially if it was based on a decision over text and calls,i usually hate the phone, i hardly texted you, before...and just got [COLOR=#003399]stressed. if[/COLOR] you want to hang out,Text or [COLOR=#003399]CAll. if[/COLOR] not.Well, it was nice to know you. (-:Peace Sugar. Thats it i have nothin more (-=:."
Author freespiritlove Posted January 7, 2009 Author Posted January 7, 2009 i guess i did have a chance... I just want to see if i can make my way to being his friend. because we had something when we were actually personally around eachother. The texts aren't even what make me, ME. So, i dont know... But i know if we hung out again, it would be different, he would not feel like he does now. Because im not crazy.
BobrigoSanchez Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 just left a myspace message, and said... "Chances are always nice.almost didnt give u one. annnnd, it would be nice to hang out again?Friends would be cool if not anything else.I dont like to lose friendships.Especially if it was based on a decision over text and calls,i usually hate the phone, i hardly texted you, before...and just got [COLOR=#003399]stressed. if[/COLOR] you want to hang out,Text or [COLOR=#003399]CAll. if[/COLOR] not.Well, it was nice to know you. (-:Peace Sugar. Thats it i have nothin more (-=:." He is right to ignore you if you're being a pain in the ass like this. You became way too needy. Now take your pride back and stop contacting a person who no longer (and rightly so) wants to hear from you! It seriously does not help your case, no matter how wise or righteous you think your words are. The sense of solidarity that exists on this board can hinder you sometimes. People here will want to always put the blame on the other person, because all of us forum posters have been hurt, so that means the other people are the "bad guys". Always. But your case isn't one of them. Make sure you learn from your mistake. You f'ed up, but now you know how to handle this situation in the future. Start by not smothering people from day one.
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