mark982 Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 i'm confused and need assistance. last night i stopped to have a couple pepsis after work. a friend was in the club(vfw) wasn't drunk or nothing. last year she had her voice box removed for cancer reasons. we're talking away, laughing. all of a sudden she starts crying that no one wants her cause she's a freak now that she has a hole in her throat to talk out of. i was lost, i keep telling her she's still looks great. which she does. i know she's gonna bring it up again, i see her about once every 2 weeks. do i still compliment her, try to change the subject. help please.
lilmrcheerful Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 Hi Mark, I am sorry to hear about your friend. I would say that maybe it's still early days for her to accept and conform to changes in her life, however, she needs to know that falling in love someone is about falling in love for the lovely person they are rather than how they look like.
Jada Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 Well she's had a drastic change in her life and is feeling low, to be realistic not many men would date a woman with a voice box and she is relating this to how attractive she would be to a prospecitve date. Maybe as a friend you can help her deal with this problem, she has a lot to work through until she can feel better about herself. I think a hug might be in order if you can give one, it's going to be some time before she can overcome this if at all.
steveraves Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 I don't think you should try to change the subject, but deal with it honestly. Inside she knows she's different and will probably have a difficult time finding a relationship. You know it, I know it and anyone realistic knows it. Is she a freak? Absolutely not and I think you should continue to reassure her of that. At the same time I think you need to honestly address her disability. For ie. You're in no way a freak, but their are people who will overlook you because of your disability (just like people who are in a wheelchair, mental illness, and any other handicapped person is overlooked), but their are also people out there that will accept and love her for her.
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