PWSX3 Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 I looked up what the stbxw was talking about & I think she is wanting to do what they call a Collaborative divorce....... Has anyone heard of it??? Since we have already split up everything & we aren't fighting over anything it does sound like a logical solution......I'll know tomorrow when I go see you lawyer about it....
Trimmer Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 I've heard of it. Google it (you may already have done so...) it seems like there is a lot of stuff out there about it. Understand that it is a relatively new concept (early 1990's???) and that if you go to a random lawyer, he or she may not be trained in it, and/or that enthusiastic about it. I think to make it most effective, you want advisors (i.e. attorney, counselor, etc.) who have some background in it, not just someone you convince to try out this new thing... We sort of did this ourselves, only without the attorneys and counselors - we just decided to collaborate and get it done, doing our best to balance everyone's interests (and especially our children.) We did all the paperwork ourselves, and had attorneys check it all out and make suggestions before we filed each thing, but they were clear that they were advising us, not fighting a fight. Nonetheless, the collaborative divorce process sounds like a good model.
ilmw Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 I've heard of it. Google it (you may already have done so...) it seems like there is a lot of stuff out there about it. Understand that it is a relatively new concept (early 1990's???) and that if you go to a random lawyer, he or she may not be trained in it, and/or that enthusiastic about it. I think to make it most effective, you want advisors (i.e. attorney, counselor, etc.) who have some background in it, not just someone you convince to try out this new thing... We sort of did this ourselves, only without the attorneys and counselors - we just decided to collaborate and get it done, doing our best to balance everyone's interests (and especially our children.) We did all the paperwork ourselves, and had attorneys check it all out and make suggestions before we filed each thing, but they were clear that they were advising us, not fighting a fight. Nonetheless, the collaborative divorce process sounds like a good model. Yup, did the same. No contest divorce... (DIY) separation and Divorce agreement. I in fact only reviewed the drafts for each agreement... then signed after it was drawn up... pretty easy, as all major financial stuff, like the house and the vehicles was taken car of before the actual physical separation. As there was no contest... and I did trust her not to try a REALLY screw me over.... it was a good way to go.... but if she was playing games... or there was more finacial complications... or the potential for alimony... etc.... I would have gotten a lawyer.. to protect myself.... Lucky I guess she makes the same amount of money as I.... No lawyers... and no cost, or court for me I figured.. your so desperate to divorce me.... go nuts, and do all the leg work. She did... and it just proved to me even more... our marriage was SO OVER ... Oh well...her lose ... ilmw
Author PWSX3 Posted January 6, 2009 Author Posted January 6, 2009 Yup, did the same. No contest divorce... (DIY) separation and Divorce agreement. I in fact only reviewed the drafts for each agreement... then signed after it was drawn up... pretty easy, as all major financial stuff, like the house and the vehicles was taken car of before the actual physical separation. As there was no contest... and I did trust her not to try a REALLY screw me over.... it was a good way to go.... but if she was playing games... or there was more finacial complications... or the potential for alimony... etc.... I would have gotten a lawyer.. to protect myself.... Lucky I guess she makes the same amount of money as I.... No lawyers... and no cost, or court for me I figured.. your so desperate to divorce me.... go nuts, and do all the leg work. She did... and it just proved to me even more... our marriage was SO OVER ... Oh well...her lose ... ilmw My stbxw told me; I know you don't want the divorce so I will pay for it....Thanks ilmw for sharing, yes I feel it is also her way of showing me she is done..... Pretty sad that 26 years is down the drain, but I know there is a good future ahead for me. I went to counseling last night & he really helped me out, just trying to look at it in different ways....... Like you we have split everything, the bills, the stuff in the house, etc. The house is the only thing & that is pretty much done as well..... So did you still have to fill out that financial statement???? That thing is like a budget & both me & the stbxw make about the same as well......
ilmw Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 So did you still have to fill out that financial statement???? That thing is like a budget & both me & the stbxw make about the same as well...... Yes, I did have to disclose this.. due to child support. As there were no other issues.... it was easy for me.... Well.... I did not have to do anything.. but it really sucked going through the process.... Separation.. and Divorce really sucks....
Recommended Posts