lovesick1 Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 Well, what can I say. After over a year, I want her back. She has moved on, has a new guy, is in a new place far away from me. She tells me we will never be together again, she loves having me as a friend, but due to impracticality we are impossible to happen. We met up earlier this week and she said when I left she felt something again, which gave me some hope. Right now she is in town where I am for a week (our hometown from college) and then we are splitting ways, probably for a long while. She doesn't really want to meet up with me because she is scared old feelings will arise and with our given geographical situation (roughly 1000 miles) any kind of romantic relationship would be impossible. I don't know why I am still not over her after a year, even when I was the main proponent of the break up. But I find myself longing for her and I feel like it won't go away. She tells me she will never lover me more than a friend again, that we will never happen, that we will never see each other again, but she also told me when we broke up she would never love anyone like she did me (claims that she loves the current guy as much or more than me after only 3 months). I asked her how she could be so sure of all this and she said maybe she was wrong, but stuck to her guns mainly. I have about a week until we both split ways probably for a long time. I don't want to mess anything up with her new guy but I at least want to get those feelings back for both of us so she can maybe hold a place for me in the future instead of doing like she is now and shutting me out. I can tell she would be with me if the situation allowed, but for now it doesn't. Main question is: How should I go about instilling these feelings and letting them come out? I know she's repressing them I just want her to open up to me
confused_2008 Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 You know, there's that popular saying "If you love someone set them free." I'm young and probably really naive, but I guess I buy it. If she's really truly meant to be with you, you two will find your way back to each other. Don't ruin things now by pushing her to rekindle feelings for you. I think it will only end up making her resent you because it's selfish. Don't lie and say you don't want to mess things up with the new guy because that's exactly what would happen if you want her to feel for you again. The two of them are probably still in the honeymoon stage. Who knows, maybe things will end bad between them, and if you take the high road now, she'll come back to you. I think you just have to suck it up and deal with the situation now. It's really out of your control, IMO.
BobrigoSanchez Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 I don't want to mess anything up with her new guy Yes you do. You have everything going against you my man: You led the break up, She's with someone else, and theres 1000 true miles between you two. It seems she's not going to make any hasty decisions in the little time you guys have together. There is nothing rational, that I can see, you can do to bring her back. You would have to get creative and pull some silver-screen act with her. I'm not knocking you, but some situations are just too far gone. I know you feel one way, but sadly she doesn't. It's time for your own healing. The reasons why you still feel for her are classic ones: You're still in contact; You're the one who initiated the breakup; And she seems to have moved on. In this situation, all you can do is give her a hint that you would like to be back in the mix with her, and then just sit back and see if she bites, but boy does the distance between you two make it so difficult. I don't think she's repressing an urge to rush back into your arms. She's just distraught that you're back in her life, and yes this does cause her confusion and nostalgia. But to be honest, as a dumpee, getting over the dumper and sticking to her guns is healthiest for her. It's only natural. All that being said, if you're able to pull it off, good for you. I'm just pointing out how I see this may not happen so you don't get your hopes up too much. Good luck.
tommiw Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 she loves having me as a friend I don't know why I am still not over her after a year You answered the question yourself I'm afraid
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